No Plan B

I used to have a plan B.

Now, I have different aspects of a Plan A, and I have a Plan Z – only. This gives me no room to give up – even if I was destitute, I still would be on my proper path – I’d just be doing it differently – however, my goals and freedoms would be the same.

How’s your Plan B going for you? I can almost guarantee you are living Plan B. Or even C, or D! Otherwise why would you be here? Why would you be reading this? You wouldn’t – because you’d be working on YOU.

You’d be executing, not excusing. You’d be building, creating, doing, not simply existing, not flitting away your life. You’d  be figuring out, and taking action on doing what you’d truly love to be doing – what you fantasize about – what you envy others for – not your 2nd- or 8th-rate job. You’d be with someone you adore, not someone you put up with, and you’d be healthy and zingy, not tired and lackluster.

You’d be “YAY ME, YAY ME!” not “Poor me, poor me.”

You’d be the hero, not the victim. You’d feel your power, not your weakness. You have it, you just haven’t honed it – and to hone your power, you must use it. You must practice. You need to move in that direction, where your internal compass is pointing (the compass you consistently ignore) – even just a smidge – movement creates momentum.

“An object in motion tends to stay in motion.”

The first day you decide execute a Plan A is the most important day you will ever have, in any successful thing you do. People think it’s amazing, for instance, that I’ve been a raw foodist for over 8 years – but this isn’t my triumph – my triumph was doing it the first day. Day one.

Day one is what you need to focus on, and then build on top of that, hour by hour, day by day.

Really scrutinize how you are spending each moment. Is what you’re doing adding meaning and value to your life? Is it taking away your stress? Is it making you healthier, happier, more free of heart? Often people who work constantly are not truly free, but they’re doing their work for the wrong reasons (money).  Money is a byproduct of doing what we truly want to be doing. It’s a byproduct of being our true, authentic selves.

Our most important values should be freedom, and love.

Being authentic is rarely sitting on the couch, tired as hell from work, dreading the next day, and stuffing yourself with pizza and beer. Maybe for someone it is, but I highly doubt that is what that person saw for themselves as a child, when they dreamed about how their life as a grown-up would be.

“What we get from work [jobs] is enough money to pay rent, food, clothes, and beer – enough to keep us coming back to work. When we’re not at work, we spend time traveling to or from work, preparing for work, resting up because we’re exhausted from work, or getting drunk to forget about work.”WORK COMMUNITY POLITICS WAR [Prole.info]

If you really don’t know what you want to do, or who you truly are, this is the MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL EVER DO. You NEED to figure this out, or die trying, because we need people doing what they adore, we need examples of perseverance. We need genuine, legitimate muses and mentors, to show us, YES, you can do what you’ve always wanted. YES, you can have a fun, thrilling life, without the burden of debt and worry.

There is always a way. There are always options. Write them all out. See ALL of your options for self-sufficiency. Write out your Plan Z, and see how okay it might actually be – how exciting it might actually be – how freeing.

But first, write out your PLAN A.

Don’t let other people take away your freedoms and power – claim it back. Feel your fear and do it anyway.

Your life is worth it, and it’s worth it to everyone else, too, because you will find your tribe, you will be a magnet; things come to you when you are ready.

It’s all so cliche, but true.

Don’t wait until  you’re forced, or until something almost kills you, because that time might not be until many years from now – when you will be even more tired, more sick, more crushed by the weight of the world.

Let it crush you NOW, so that you can squeeze out everything that isn’t true to you, and become full again with what is.

The world is a reflection of your beliefs, and your beliefs are often what other people have told you your whole life. Most of them are lies, or half-truths, unless you’ve been fortunate enough to grow up with that attitude, but if you were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this.

What you focus on manifests. Once you feel this power for yourself, things will show up that you couldn’t even have imagined. You just have to be ready, and open. The old has to be removed for the new to come in. There needs to be ROOM.

Make room now. No more Plan B – make your first choices your first priority, every single day.

Advertisements

What’s the Alternative?

I’m back after a long hiatus – I didn’t leave purposely, I just got swept along in the riptide of typical life.

Like most people, I’ve spent the majority of my life giving some power to others, allowing them to instruct my days, in order to get a generally pathetic cash reward every two weeks.

I recently quit my job. I’d planned to for quite some time, yet fear kept me going back. But…it felt like my time was being hijacked – I felt a very strong terror saying, “What if this was your last day on earth? Would you want it to be THIS?” I ask myself this a lot. The answer is always: No.  Not that the job was BAD, it just wasn’t what I truly wanted to be doing. It didn’t align with how I want daily life to be. Instead of feeling scared, I felt excited. That’s when you know you’ve made the right decision. My terror shifted – the fear of NOT doing what I love was MUCH stronger than the fear of having less security. Allow yourself to feel that anticipation: the promise of a more tantalizing existence.

Your moods are a map – if you dread going to work, if you are ignoring the things you’d love to be doing, wasting your time with FILLERS, then you are COMPLETELY and utterly ignoring your path in life. You are doing yourself and others a disservice. We need you, and we need your passion to ignite us.

Some people may be completely happy doing a regular job, and that is totally fine! I am not talking about them. I am talking about ME, and YOU – the ones who pine for more. We are aching. Bursting.

I BURN with a fervor, and I have repressed this many times – in relationships, in my everyday life, in work. Not purposely. It sucks. It’s not a way to live.

So, when you change your life, what about the fear? What about the scary prospect of failure?

Here’s a better question: What’s the alternative?

A life of mediocrity? Ennui? A life of apathy? Being upon death and saying, “Man, I wish I did that.”? No thank you. I get this one life as me- one life FOR SURE. Even if there are more lives, I get this one, ONCE, and I am not squandering it.

I’ve spent too much time already, flitting about from job to job (“A JOB” is a 4-letter word), spent too much time on things I don’t truly care about, too much time reading social media, and other stuff that does NOT improve my life.

Why read blathering from people about all sorts of topics I really don’t care about? Way better to actually learn something of value. To read words of substance. To go out and DO things. My time is valuable. PRECIOUS. So is yours! What is the alternative? MONOTONY.

Does this ring true for you? “I want a monotonous life.” Yeah, I doubted it.

Every adult I know, especially once they get to their 30s, says “WOW, time goes so fast!” – Yeah, it does, especially when you waste it, when you do things to “kill time.”

EXCLAMATION: you can’t KILL time. Time is killing you.

I have no other alternative. I don’t have a plan B anymore. I have a Plan Z, but no plan B.  Plan Z is destitute – and really still not terrible. It’s still more free than having a job working for someone else, making them more money (unless of course you want to help them and their cause – then awesome! Still…DO YOU, first).

You need an explosion within. If you don’t have that zest, and you’re damp and wretched every day with gloom, then you need to change some things – rapidly. Make it your first priority because your life will be completely bland and beige otherwise. Don’t you want a rainbow life? Isn’t that why people love psychedelics? Everything is more dazzling, unrestrained, more potent.

You can have that feeling naturally, daily, if you follow the map your life has for you. It’s built into you. It’s called “Your Emotions.” Your map has still led you down this runaway path, too – it’s leading you that way so you can see where it goes – then you can TURN AROUND. You realize, like with a malfunctioning GPS, that you are completely lost, and that you are going off-target. You don’t have to keep going – you know it’s the wrong way! TURN AROUND. What’s the alternative? You’ll probably end up somewhere you really didn’t plan, a ghost town, where dreams go to die.

If you feel afraid, reluctant, or anxious, ask yourself “What’s the alternative?” Write it all out. Let THAT petrify you. If you feel freaked out, then you are off-course. Center yourself, breathe, and continue where you know you need to go. Point your needle north.

It still takes work and discipline, but it is SO much better persisting on a path that you know is your own, and you know is the one you were meant to go down all along. You’re listening to your own GPS instead of one someone else gave you. One you thought you had to follow. One you thought was correct, or one you accidentally came across. Don’t use that. Internal compasses are much better – you just have to stop ignoring it.

Learn to read your compass.

 

Being Realistic – No Thanks

Image by Kylli Sparre

“Be Realistic.”

Is there anything worse for a creative person to hear?

A wild vixen, or a blitzkrieg dynamo does not want to know your opinion. They want you to say “Fuck yeah!” and pump them up (or just shut up).

You know all those people who you admire, idolize, admire? Why? Cuz they’re realistic and normal day-to-day humans who just settle and go for the easy way out? Nah, you really respect their tenacity and ability to dig deep and follow the path they know will make them happy.

Telling artistic or adventurous people to be realistic can be extremely damaging, especially if they are very young. Creative types are SENSITIVE and, unless they have an iron will, may be affected at a deep level, which might not even register. I am one of these people. My nerve and confidence were vandalized as a teenager, with lingering comments floating in my subconscious ever since.

Young people are the most susceptible, too, because youth is the time when confidence is most cultivated. Even as an adult, when we are more inclined to worry about things like money, if your confidence is limited, the chances of following your dreams are likely going to be crushed by that anvil of doubt. You probably won’t go for it.

It’s scarier not to.

Think about all the people you really think are The Shit. Are they realists, or did they take risks? They said “Fuck you!” to everyone who might try and talk them out of their wild fantasies.

People who chase dreams and do what they want are just as human as you. The difference is that they actually keep going, despite people who might try and tell them they’re not realistic or that they are crazy.

CRAZY IS NECESSARY.

Can you imagine these situations?

“Hey JK Rowling! Just stay on welfare, no one makes money on fantasy books about wizards.”

“Hey Bethany Hamilton! No one can surf with one arm, just go work in an office or something.”

“HEY, Kurt Cobain, punk is dead, sit down.”

I could come up with a million of these, very famous or not. I know people personally who do what they want and make a living because they are determined. They aren’t rich – who said anything about rich? This is nothing to do with money. Everyone seems to equate realism with making money – you know, I am at a point where I would rather be living in my car or in a tent and living on potatoes and dandelions, doing what I want, than to be “realistic” and working in an office or bagging groceries.

The wild ones are the ones who make the world change. They are the ones who touch your hearts. They are the ones make the songs you listen to when you’re in love or in despair. They’re the ones who make the movies you watch to lift yourself up. They’re the ones who write the books that make you want to be a better person. They’re the ones who create the beautiful images that make your throat burn and your eyes water.

Why the FUCK would you want them to be realistic?!

The likely scenario is that the ones who are saying such things are jealous, or wish they had the balls to do it themselves. Why wouldn’t you want someone else to fucking try? The best people to look up to and to emulate are the people who are true to themselves and who don’t give a shit if people agree or not – they know who they are and what to do. That is a rare trait, and enviable. It doesn’t matter if they’re into painting, music, writing, or being an astronaut, they should all be supported to do what they’re passionate about.

What is reality anyway? Reality is what is happening, right now. Right now my reality is sitting on the couch with wet hair writing this because I am pissed someone told me to be realistic, someone 13 years younger than me who knows nothing about my life, someone who insinuated I do not use my head but only follow my heart. I do BOTH. Being realistic only means to be in the moment of what you are doing. I don’t know what is going to be my reality in several years. I don’t care. I care about now. I care about doing things I love to do. I care about myself, not what other people think, and so should you. If you have dependents, fine, but you can still make some income while doing what you love. You can give certain shit up that you don’t need. You don’t need to starve, there are WAYS.

I’d rather be hungry and happy than full and miserable.

Being “realistic” (in terms of “Get a normal job where you know you’ll make money”) may lead to a different reality than you may expect. Maybe you’ll do something like that and end up so depressed that you become a drug addict and end up in a gutter with a needle in your arm. Who KNOWS? I know that’s a crazy example, but there are no guarantees for ANYTHING, so you might as well do what you like.

You wanna end up dying (inevitable!) and being like “Daaaamn, I shoulda done that, I’m a stupid idiot.” Or do you wanna end up like “YEAH I fucking lived it up – I may have been broke but at least I’m ready to die!”

You get one life. ONE. Why waste it? You don’t get time to waste. There IS no time to waste. Don’t just exist, fuckin’ LIVE IT.

A Hiatus Halted

Greetings!

I have been absent for a while, with good reason. I have had a fairly intense first quarter of 2013.

Starting with a long-term relationship ending, then a month-long trip to Thailand and Australia, then reintegrating back into work and life…tiring! I am glad to be where I am, though a lot of me is missing my adventures and freedom from responsibility.

When I find myself resenting having to work, or monotony of necessary chores, I quickly remind myself that i could be digging in a sapphire mine in Madagascar for $2 a day, or working a ping-pong show in Phuket – what would I prefer? My lovely job at a wonderful bookstore, obviously. I view it as a meditation. A trade for experience.

I would gladly trade my time for experiences like the photos here. When I buy something, I think to myself: would I work 3 hours in exchange for this? Would I work 2 weeks in exchange for this?

My dad taught me this trick – to view things you buy in terms of time spent, not money spent. And to me, my time is precious. I don’t get to live forever, and I wish I could. So if I am gonna have to work, I am gonna use the money wisely. I don’t always, but generally I do, and when people say I am lucky to travel for a month…well…am I? Or did I save my money for 2 years and not buy dumb shit? Am I lucky to afford a fresh healthy diet? Not really. I managed to even when I made minimum wage and worked part-time. I just choose to go without things I do not need. I have even given up on buying books, which for me is CRAZY.

I feel a lightness when I think this way, and enjoy the simplicity of my job. I like the freedom it ALLOWS me, not what it takes away.

Here’s to my next journey!

~

Photos taken at Elephant Nature Park, an elephant sanctuary in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

More posts coming SOON.