Why You Are Wild

When I read this poem by Mary Oliver a couple of years ago, this part hit me in the chest like you wouldn’t believe. It said exactly how I felt, and it gave me strength.

I knew I was wild, and I’d forgotten. Not completely, but I was anxious and depressed and wasn’t sure why. I had repressed myself, and when I got stirred up, I had fleeting glimpses of who I was meant to be, who I WAS, at my core.

The right words can wake you up in an instant.

YES, I thought, reading this. YES, THIS IS IT. I AM WILD, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

And I became such. I was not always decent or honest, but I was being true to myself. In order to be that way with others, I had to let myself be who I really was, first. I needed to remember what I was at my core. Sometimes I still feel I am not wild enough – not like I know myself to be. I let it out as much as I can within the walls of society. I like to continuously break them down.

And you too, are wild. Have you forgotten? Are you living a mundane existence, or are you morose, and not sure why? Are you always living a dull life? I implore you to remember your wildness. It’s there, and if you are not afraid, and you embrace it, it can take you very, very far.

This life prescribed to you by society, is not who you are inside. You are likely repressing a true feral heart, and dulling it down because of expectations, commitments, and obligations. Even constrained by typical life, you can find ways to indulge and feed the beast inside you.

Cultivate this roaring part of yourself, and you will feel free.


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Nature Deficit

Cox Bay, Tofino, BC.

It is so easy to neglect going out of the house.

The more I am indoors, the easier it is to get sucked down and CONFUSED as to why I feel shitty or unproductive.

There is a lack.

I have found that I may not even know I am missing something pertinent to my happiness, and that is when my mood goes haywire. It is crazy how our moods shift to the negative and often we don’t even know WHY.

One reason I have realized very recently, and that is nature deficit.

One example is that I am a fairly socially anxious person. If I know most people present at a gathering, I am okay. If not, I tend to segregate myself and stick with who I came with or obsess over any animals that are there (animals are my saviours at parties). I don’t generally relate to a typical party atmosphere. I even decided that I didn’t want to go to them anymore, but then was invited to a friend’s birthday and felt I should go. It was the same crowd of people, and I had fun. I still obsessed over the animals there, but I didn’t feel GROSS or AWKWARD like I do at most social gatherings…because it was outside. I then realized that all of the parties I have loved have been outside.

I wrote a list of the favourite, most memorable moments of my life, and pretty much all of them took place in the woods, swimming, surfing, biking on the beach, or immersing myself in nature in some way.

A video I watched of raw athlete Tim van Orden recently found him doing everything the same in terms of eating and exercise, but he had gained a little weight since he had to stop running – yet he still exercised indoors on a spin bike for the same amount of time. He hated it. As soon as he started exercising outside on an actual mountain bike, his minor weight gain went back down to normal, because he loved it. The stress factor was removed, and he was out in the WILD. His mood shifted from that one simple change.

I think it is so important to spend at least some of the day outside, and not just walking down the street to get a slice of pizza. I mean getting into REAL NATURE, not the city. Go to the forest, the beach, the mountains, the desert. Whatever you have near you, make an effort to get to nature as much as you CAN. If you are completely out of easy access, find time to get to the closest nature spot you can, as often as you can. Weekly at least. Daily is best, but I know that isn’t possible for some people.

Even in winter this should be something people do – get the right gear. Being outside is necessary for us – humans were not meant to be indoors.

Make the effort and see what sort of difference it makes for you! It sure has made a huge one for me.

Recommended reading:

We Are Wildness blog
The Nature Principle: Reconnecting with Life in a Virtual Age
Your Brain On Nature: The Science of Nature’s Influence on Your Health, Happiness and Vitality
Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder

Wildling Manifesto

I’ve decided that whatever I do, it has to be wild.

When I think, I must give it a huge push with passion, past my comfort zone, because that’s where the truth lies.

Whatever I create, it must be done with emotion and devotion, so that it speaks on its own without me.

Whatever I write will flow with the weight of my entire heart.

Whatever clothing I buy and wear will scream my soul.

Whatever love I give will be mighty and knock you down.

Whatever sex I have will be banshee-powerful – lust will sweat out and creep into the pores of my lover, assimilate.

Whatever kissing I do will be fiery and ecstatic, deep and longing. Sharing breath.

When I dance I will close my eyes and let music pulse my heart instead of blood.

I will decorate myself like a gypsy pixie grungy macabre demon pin-up tart, because it’s all me, what else can I do?

I will yell wildly, but only love, or ferocious anger.

I will be as kind as a person can be, because that is the most powerful and freeing.

I will fuck in forests and plunge deeply into mountain pools. I will ride the scariest rides and spill face-first down muddy slopes and water-slides.

When I eat I will devour, I will groan and fully taste each morsel. I will eat in a way that lets this crazy energy flow through me.

I will run just to feel wind.

I’ll live with my mind open. I will look into the eyes of whomever I meet. No small talk, all large.

When I sleep I will dream the dreams of shamans, the dreams of the fully alive, and the dreams of the dead.

Everything I love will be spoken, if not with voice, then in how I live.

When I cry I will wail, I will gnash my teeth and grieve like the damned.

Full-emotion, “too intense” – but it is the REAL ME, fuck it if it scares you to see someone be fully human. EMBRACE IT.



Photo above of Vali Myers