How to Tell if You Are Dying

Confused on why you feel like shit? Just always feel like hell, no matter what you do? Always easier just to sit around, stare at a screen, and eat cake for dinner?

You’re dying.

Mentally, and physically.

Here are some other symptoms:

  • You prefer to be asleep, so you can live in your dreams, instead of making them a reality.
  • You believe that it is inevitable to deteriorate with age, that it is normal to feel like shit, gain weight, ache in all places, be stiff, bored, uninterested in anything but TV and going to the bar.
  • You eat processed foods, anything called “junk” food, or animal products.
  • You’re on medication.
  • You don’t move your body much. You sit all the time.
  • You don’t remember what it’s like to be a kid. You’ve disassociated because it’s too painful to remember – you think you’ve lost that part of yourself.
  • You don’t sleep enough and rely on stimulants to get through the day.
  • You believe you have to “get through the day” as if every day is a punishment.
  • You spend your time doing things you loathe.
  • You spend your time around people you loathe.
  • You loathe yourself.
  • You complain about everything.
  • You scoff at happy people.
  • You constantly think “Why bother?”
  • You dread everything.
  • You consider yourself a victim.

These are not life pains, these are signs of a dying soul.

You have strength within you, even if it’s a tiny spark; if you FAN that with movement and desire, it will BURST INTO FLAMES.

In my next post, I will teach you how to come alive, to burn like wildfire, to see life as a dance with the universe, instead of a spiral into monotony and drabness.

You are not really dying – you just aren’t truly living.

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How Your Diet is Linked to Your Passion

Do you know what you want to do with your life, but you just waffle away your hours doing bullshit? Twiddling around, staring at screens, blubbering on about nothing, scrolling comment sections that are bombarded by trolls who do nothing with their lives? Why are you doing those things? What is stopping you from doing what would make your life spectacular?

Is it:

Lack of energy?
Fear, anxiety?
Lack of self-confidence?
Fear of failure?
Pathetic drone-like existence?
Ennui?
Mental health issues?
“Trapped” in corporate slavery?
Capitalism?

It could be one, all, or a combination of these – but when your passion burns bright enough, you can go for anything, no matter what your situation is. You will find a way.

However, if you are taking shit care of yourself, you will not likely have the vigor, the enthusiasm, or self-love that is imperative in actually going for it. Your brain clarity is fogged – when you can CLEAR it, and see everything as it is – pristine, obvious – you can find ways, options, and paths that were not noticeable before.

When you clean up your diet, and you are eating the way your body is designed to, abundant energy is freed up, and this blindness you’ve had forever is suddenly gone. The paths appear.

Diet and lifestyle are crucial to everything in life, if you want it to be as stellar as possible, and this includes being able to pursue what you truly love. Some people can do this anyway, regardless of how they treat themselves, but for the vast majority of people, this just isn’t the case. Most people are numbed out – by distractions, by chemicals in their “food,” by monotonous brainwashing they have heard their whole lives – telling them to be realistic, telling them what they want is not feasible. Eventually people become so jaded that they settle into a boring trap they never envisioned for themselves.

Eating only raw foods is like taking a truth serum.

You can’t hide from yourself anymore. You become too sensitive – if you ignore your true passions, you become depressed, so much so that you will eventually explode and become a firebolt heading in the direction you need to go.

You absolutely CANNOT ignore your desires anymore – you can’t deny yourself what you truly love. Because, now, you will love yourself.

Feeding yourself pristine food and nourishing your entire being is the ultimate act of self-love, because it frees you up – it frees you from the worry of illness, it frees you from lethargy, and you realize how much you’ve been lied to, and how much you’ve lied to yourself.

If you feel like you’re missing something, you likely are. A one-way ticket to getting where you want to go is to put yourself first and focus solely on what you physically and mentally consume. Raw plant foods, and positive input only. Ignore the gossip, ignore the comments sections, ignore media if you have to, and only take in what is going to propel you forward.

What’s the alternative? Being held back, being stuck, being unhappy, sick, depressed. Who wants that?

The bullet train to euphoric passion is raw, fresh foods. So simple, but for those who’ve tried – you know. You’ve found magic.

How to Stick to Your Goals and Become Amazing

While I was on the ferry home to Victoria from Vancouver, I was in my car and thinking about how “off” I got when I was not in my regular routine and visiting my family. How I, along with so many people, allow themselves to cheat or push things aside that are important to them when they go “away” – but you are not “away.” You are still in your body, you still have your mind, you still have all the same dreams and desires you had before – don’t neglect them.

When I go to Vancouver, I start visiting all these raw and vegan food places I “miss” and binge on things that I know are not great for me (though to everyone else they’d be ridiculously healthy – but for me, I feel the difference). Funny thing is that I didn’t even enjoy many of those things. I started to neglect the workout regime I’ve been very dedicated to for the last 2 months – luckily I did a little bit, but when I was sitting in my car thinking about it, really I could have done everything normally, I just made excuses. I wasn’t going on “vacation” and even if I was, I wouldn’t go “away” to escape from my freaking goals. Going “away” is to visit people, see new places, escape from work – NOT to neglect what is important to you.

And so I decided, along with the word “tenacious,” that I wanted to be able to describe myself as “dedicated.” Similar, yes, but decidedly different. Next time I go to visit the mainland, or anywhere, I will know to factor in EVERYTHING that is important to me that I do regularly, and to not skip it or sabotage it just because I make the excuse of being AWAY.

So, what are you? How could you be defined? How do you WANT to be defined? What words would you like to describe yourself by? Start calling yourself those things and you will become them.

What are you dedicated to? As you can see, I have neglected writing in my blog for a couple of weeks – I consciously made that decision, as I was starting to rebel against the schedule I set for myself. I do well with guidelines, but not strict rules. However, I have neglected writing in general, which to me is just sacrilege. Even if I am not writing here, I must write. Daily. And so I dedicate myself.

I dedicate myself fully to writing, to raw foods, and to fitness. I dedicate myself to my Ninjutsu practice. I dedicate myself to animal welfare and preserving the planet as much as I can. Everything on my list are things I dedicate myself to DAILY or at least weekly. Having this reminder to look at every day is paramount to my success. It’s so easy to forget goals and things that make us better people – we all want to be the best versions of ourselves. It’s stupid to envy others and want to be them – why not be the best YOU? Have you even tried that?

All of those adjectives I wrote…I already am, or am becoming. Always have things to strive for. I love myself as is, but I want to become better and better. Why wouldn’t I? Or you? So many people give up – “I’m too old” or “I’m too fat” or “I’m too boring.” What you tell yourself you are, you are. Tell yourself something different. Make it something you can BELIEVE, though. Even if you are a couch potato, you can say “I am athletic” because you actually are – you just have to wake that part of yourself UP. Your body has always been athletic, but you have to use it in that way! You have always been healthy, but you have to give your body the right conditions to thrive in! Allow it to heal! You have to do the work. This is sort of like affirmations, but not. You really have to find that part of yourself that can believe what you are saying. You’re not going to believe you are something if you aren’t that way IN THAT MOMENT, so choose your words carefully. Find a way to believe it. Dig deep, question everything. Find the truth in what you are saying.

You are worthy and you are capable. You are resilient. Get out there and live.

What Are You Going to Do Otherwise?


A huge passion of mine is ninjutsu, which I do three times a week. On Monday I felt a bit resistant towards going. Throughout the day leading up to the hour-long drive to class, I fought against it – and then the best question ever came into my mind!

“What are you gonna do otherwise?”

My answer was, “Probably play on my computer or something.”

I said back to myself, “Is that going to make you a better ninja?”

I smirked and replied, “No….”

Very effective. Next time you are resistant to something you know you WANT to do (not should do), ask yourself that question.

Don’t wanna go to the gym? What would you be doing instead? Watching TV? Is that going to get you the body you want? Are Ross and Rachel gonna rip your abs and blast your fat? Nuh uh.

Don’t feel like working on your novel? What are you gonna do? Read Cracked and Buzzfeed? Are you insane? Open your flipping MS Word and type, bitch!

Don’t feel like practicing your oboe? Let me guess…you’d rather check out what OTHER people are doing on Facebook.

Sitting around and wishing for stuff is gonna get you nowhere. We have limited time on this plane of existence. You need take whatever steps possible to get you to where you want to be. Enjoy each step. Just because steps are small do not mean you should brush them off and fill up your time with meaningless junk. You can do that if you want, but do the important things FIRST. The more little steps you take, the closer you will be, the better you will be, the more you will be making of your life. Everything large is made of something small.

Tonight I’m going to class again. I usually want to go, but I always go regardless of how I feel, and I am ALWAYS glad I do. You will be glad you take your steps, too. But DO them.

Recommended Reading:

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life’s Work
Do the Work

The Beauty of Words

I was lazily dreamy the other day, thinking as usual about my life – this is a constant musing for me – how to make my life better, more exciting, more meaningful.

It’s daunting – there is a strong dichotomy in me – the one side being the free, joyous vagabond, and the other being the hard-working, focused, serious activist.

A balance between these two is difficult – it’s hard to be enamoured with beauty at all times when there are horrors aplenty around – and I don’t want to ignore them. So how do I choose?

I try to remain an optimist, but there are times when I just feel there is no hope for the world.

So during my lazing in bed that morning, I thought – “How can I make the most of my life while still doing something worthwhile for other people? AND stay happy?”

I thought about what made life beautiful for me, and what I realized was it was words – they may be fictional or not, but they have the power to do so much – distract, inspire, teach. Almost all my passions came about because of something I read, at some point. They may get me to notice something out there that I never would have seen or appreciated, or they may delight me enough to try something new, or they may spark other passions I never would have dreamed of.

I’ve had a love of writing and memoir and fiction since I was a tiny child – I spent hours as a kid writing at the typewriter, and hours as a teenager in the computer lab at school. I would sometimes stay until 9pm when the school closed completely, because I had nothing at home to use.  When I  was in grade 8 I started my first novel, of which I hand-wrote 130 or so pages, and let my friends read. I’ve written many zines, and several short stories, one of which was edited by favourite writer at the time (Storm Constantine) and featured on her webzine.

The only consistent thing I’ve ever wanted to be is a writer (as well as a surfer). Sometimes it seems like such an unimportant goal in the grand scheme of things  (plus everyone seems to want to write something and call themselves an author) – but this world needs more beauty. Especially coming from individual people – there is so much acid and bile and wastefulness from the majority – to spread beauty through passion is of utmost importance!

And so I decided to dedicate myself to this pursuit of beauty. To immerse myself in it. The same importance can be put on music, art, film – but it should be a singular, intense passion, or the work will not be inspiring. Anything can be of inspiration if there is insane dedication and bliss behind it.

What is your obsessive passion? I want to know. Do you spend the majority of your day doing that? I must spend my days writing and reading, or I become increasingly unhappy – this is clearer to me all the time. My clarity increases the healthier I am, but unless I am focused on the things that fill my soul, health is a dead end. It would be like traveling to a faraway place, only to get there and say, “Okay, time to go back” instead of enjoying the result of arrival. Doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile, but better to enjoy the outcome as much as possible!

The more I write, the more I love it. The more I read, the more I want to read. It’s constant inspiration. It’s necessary. And so people need constant beauty around them to remind them that life IS worth living, if only for the splendor of their surroundings, the creations of others, and the hope that may trickle through them as a result. Without hope and beauty, we’re doomed.

~

For some great writing books these are the ones I recommend.

The Cure for Ennui – Discovered!

DO YOU SUFFER FROM L.O.P. (Lack of Passion)??

L.O.P. can be self diagnosed.

Symptoms:

  • You are bound to your home.
  • The TV ensnares you. You are drawn into other worlds instead of inhabiting your own.
  • The internet draws you in with so many temptations, far more than before its existence.
  • You want to devour everyone and everything. Media is a black hole you swim into, willingly.
  • You believe people who are famous – just because people know who they are, just because they are charismatic. You listen to them more than you listen to yourself.
  • You have a completely structured life. You do the same thing daily, and then you force yourself to smile.
  • You do nothing for your own pleasure.
  • You eat things that come in packages and go in microwaves.
  • You adhere to a set standard of living, and an aesthetic chosen for you.
  • You have left your childhood self completely in the past and cannot remember what it is like to be free.
  • You are a curmudgeon.
  • You only see the bleakness of the world.
  • You drown yourself in vices, to cope with things you don’t realize are stifling you.
  • You only see the mainstream options for life. You do not ever consider alternatives.

New Medical Break-though!

The new drug FOMS (Fear of Missing Something) is now available. This drug has been known to have the following side effects:

  • You will say yes to almost any experience.
  • You will quit jobs and leave relationships that don’t squeeze your heart and make you swoon.
  • You will sleep so soundly because you’ve depleted all your energy from living.
  • You will eat copious amounts of fresh fruits and foliage.
  • You may experience lightning in your brain.
  • You see beauty in every corner of your reality.
  • You are vocal and rally against the horrors around you.
  • You will long for the days of childhood and teenage years, when devious behaviour is more accepted.
  • You will not care if your behaviour is accepted.
  • You will cultivate an intense desire for knowledge.
  • You will start to see threads leading out from normal life, that lead you to amazing people and wanderings.
  • Your desire to travel will become unbearable.
  • You will want to document everything so you can share it with others – or – you may want to keep it all to yourself, a delicious secret.
  • You will want to spread love wherever you go.
  • You will want to kiss with wild abandon.
  • You will want to be lithe and naked and roam free on hot beaches amongst coconut trees.
  • You will want to move so wildly that your body never stops swaying.
  • You will easily attract many other companions, divine lovers, and glistening amigos.
  • You automatically become glowlingly beautiful
  • You believe in wishes, and magic.
  • Your religion becomes self-worship.
  • You create things that people want, and admire.
  • You become yourself, a deviant visionary.

Please do not take FOMS on an empty stomach. Take with water, luscious mangos and blueberries. Take FOMS upon rising from a complete night’s sleep.

FOMS can be self-prescribed, and taken at any time – no rules apply.

Cures for Chronic Distractions

(Photo by Yellowbird)

Do you love dancing shows? – Go out and dance.

Do you love reality shows? – Go and have your own experience.

Do you love action movies? – Go learn to survive in the wild.

Do you love talk shows? – Go talk to your friends and family. Meet some new people and engage them in meaningful conversations.

Do you love singing competitions? – Go to a concert. Start a band.

Do you love video games? – Create yourself an obstacle course or go to a shooting range.

Do you love looking at photos online? – Pick up your camera and go seeking.

Do you love watching cute animal videos? – Go play with your pet or volunteer at a shelter.

Do you love celebrity gossip? – Go read a biography of someone amazing.

Do you love trashy novels? – Go read a beautiful novel, or write one yourself.

Do you love fast food? Eat lots of fruit – nothing is faster, or healthier.

Do you love sitting on your butt watching television? Picture yourself about to die – what will you wish you’d done instead? Do that, and do that every time you turn on the TV.

Do you love the news? Become a skeptic and question everything you see or hear.

Do you love the internet? Go old-school and peruse the library. Practice book-scanning – go from section to section, pick something you would never normally look at, and read a page. If it interests you, write down the title or sign it out. Go home and turn off your computer for the entire day and read those books instead.

Do you love blogs? Start one yourself about whatever you are interested in, or whatever you know a lot about. Engage in dialogue with other writers. Make long-lasting bonds with similar people.

~~

For every distracting habit, there is an equal good habit you could replace it with. Question everything. These are simplistic alternatives – but who says anything has to be complicated? Sometimes common sense is overlooked.

Most media outlets out there are pushed upon you to distract you from your amazing potential, to create an unhealthy culture – unhealthy, distracted people are easy to control.

Some of these things are fine in moderation, or to use as inspiration. It is when it takes up the bulk of your time that you need to reevaluate.

Fight the system and seek the truth. Spend your life the way you truly wish you could – you can.