Photo of me by Aiko Yoshida
The answers to my previous post, How to Know If You’re Dying, are infinite. My answers may not be your answers, but I can tell you what works for me, and what I know can at least guide you in the right direction.
If you always feeling like a sinking ship, you must become buoyant.
How do you fill up so you can surface? First, you have to become empty. Free yourself – meditate, get still. Be calm, remove all distractions, sit in silence, in nature. Do this for hours if necessary. Have your pen and notebook. Write down insights. Do this as many times as possible until you have clarity. Actually DO this. Now.
There is no timeline on this – it could be instant, it could take years, but get clear, as otherwise you will just continue as you are. If you’re dying, that’s not a place to loiter.
Removing ALL distractions is necessary. Endless inspiration is detrimental sometimes, because we focus on being inspired instead of actually DOING something. It gives us a jolt of adrenaline, a glimpse of hope, but without any action, it will fade from your memory pretty quickly, leaving you yearning for the next hit. Inspiration is fantastic, and I love it, but there needs to be movement afterwards.
Take inspiration from this and DO something that will propel you forward, even if it’s just an inch! Turn off this computer, look away from your phone. Take the paper and ink and go, be quiet. Feel what you already know, deeply.
You already know what you need to do. You are scared. You don’t need to be.
What is your alternative? You would not be here if you were not dead inside, at least somewhat. You would not be here if you were not looking for guidance.
So I am guiding you – to look within, to the depths, where your sparks glow, like seeds in the dark, waiting to bloom, waiting for water, waiting for fire to bring them to life.
So how do you do this? How do you come alive when everything has been buried so deep?
Seeds buried too deeply never blossom. They rot, they whither, they die. They vanish.
You need to replant those forgotten seeds. You need to put them near the SURFACE, and tend to them DAILY.
At first, your dream garden will need cautious, tender care. Not too much, but just enough – and when they sprout, and start to grow, prepare for wildness – but they need the right conditions. They need to be nourished. They need to be tended, and they need to be shared. Once wild, they flourish, and they continue to grow and spread and take over with no help from you – they show up like dandelions in the sidewalk, where you wouldn’t expect life to succeed, because those roots are deep, and powerful.
When you garden literally, you do it to be surrounded by beauty, or to have nourishment to feed your body. It is the same when you care for your garden of desires.
1. Identify your passion
If you have too many dreams, get clear – which are the ones you ALWAYS feel nagged by? Which is the thing you always say first when someone asks you your interests? What has been the mainstay since you were small, or what is the thing that scares you the most, but that you most wish you could accomplish? That’s the one. The one you must do.
2. Write steps. Small steps.
What is that ultimate dream of yours? Pretend you are that. And then write the step down from it. And the step down from that. And so on, until you get very, very small. Once it’s so small it seems ridiculous – take that first small step, and go back up.
3. Do this every single day, in any free moment you have. Maybe you are swamped with other obligations, or you are exhausted – you make room. You find that shred of energy. You say fuck you to resistance. The moments you usually spend mindlessly are the moments you will take to make small steps. Even if it’s just to put a notebook in your bag, write out an idea, do some push-ups, register a domain name, or take a look at guitars in the store and inquire about payment plans.
4. Nourish yourself properly.
Get enough rest. You will not fully feel alive unless your body is cared for first.
5. Ask yourself what the alternative is.
Write out your Plan Z, and then make your dream your Plan A. No in-betweens. Fuck everything else.
6. Always make yourself the first priority.
Instead of working for someone else as soon as you awaken, do work for yourself. Love yourself, do your own thing, always first, so you can be more present, and feel as if you are making some momentum. Morning ritual is so important, and new to me, and I can’t even believe I’ve gone so far without it – and how far will I go now?
If you are depressed or feeling dead, you are not aligned with what you are here to do. We need your passion. It doesn’t matter how many people are already doing it. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never done it before. It doesn’t matter if you’re 12 years old or 95. It only matters that you start honouring yourself and what you love, because why the hell else are you alive? The word ALIVE is not describing you – make it so everyone uses that as your adjective. It is now your description. How would that feel for you? To take on that meaning for yourself?
So are you going to stay dead, or be infused with life? Get moving, or stay in your coffin, where you will stay until the day you actually die for real.
You have so much time to be dead. BE ALIVE, NOW.