I Wanna Be an Airhead

It’s so nice when you can stop thinking.

Often, I get so wrapped up in my head, and I know I am not alone. I focus on other people instead of myself, a LOT. In regards to their place in my life, I mean.

I also focus on so many things that upset me in the world. I focus on negative shit, way too much, way more than I want to.

I had this problem totally BEAT for a while, years ago, but that was when I was single and focused 100% on ME.

And so now, dealing with so many crazy things, I feel more unhealthy, more unstable, but still, I don’t like to give up on people that I care for, nor do I want to give up on myself.

And so, I try, often, to empty my mind.

I had an epiphany one evening, months ago, when I couldn’t stop thinking about a particular issue in my life. I thought, “Why do I have to think about this all the time?!” As in, I HAD to think about it…well, is that really true?

No. All of a sudden I thought, “I don’t HAVE to think about this….” And I started to laugh.

Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Another way I try to empty my head is via Eckhart Tolle, which is to realize that there is a part of your thought process where you are LISTENING to your thoughts – the voice in your head – what part of your brain is actually LISTENING, actively to that? If you can CONSCIOUSLY become that listener…the thoughts miraculously vanish – it’s eerie! It doesn’t usually last too long, but if you practice, it gets longer and longer, and you can just re-align with that listening stance. I implemented this when I was heartbroken years ago, exhausted from thoughts of my lost love. I wanted respite so badly.

And recently, I have wished for a brain full of nothing, a head full of air. And so I picture it – I visualize with every inhalation, that my skull is being filled with air like a shiny balloon, as if there were no brain there at all. I imagine this empty, serene SPACE in my head, and I can keep focusing on this image because I keep imagining the air filling it as I breathe in every time.

Try it – being an airhead isn’t my ideal state, but at times, it is like, totally soothing.


Image by Jason Levesque.

How NOT to Deal With Hard Times

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed?

+ Sleep less. Who needs it? You should be up and worrying constantly, because that always helps matters.

+ Believe everything you think. Especially if you are bashing yourself and convinced you are the scum of the earth. Don’t EVER question your thoughts!

+ Deny yourself the things you need to be content. Always put others before yourself.

+ Keep “friends” around who drag you down, or who constantly entangle you in their awesome bullshit!

+ Party hard, at all times. Make sure you make your life more “interesting” by adding in lots of drugs and alcohol.

+ Lead a double life. Keep secrets from your loved ones.

+ Make sure you confide in strangers, but not people you love. OH, and convince yourself that you have no one in your life that will care.

+ Tell everyone that you’re FINE. Pretend like you are. No need to burden anyone else with your problems!

+ Force yourself to go to work, or be social, when you really need to rest and be alone.

+ Eat tons of crappy food! That will squash down the real emotions so you don’t have to deal with them. Also you will have less energy so you can sleep more and avoid dealing with your issues!

+ Lay in bed all day, don’t do anything. Exercise is totally detrimental to your well-being.

+ Take tons of drugs so you can have LESS clarity.¬†No one wants to think clearly when they already don’t want to be in their own heads.

+ Don’t read anything helpful – spiritual teachers aren’t insightful at all. Byron Katie? Eckhart Tolle? Pema Chodron? Don Miguel Ruiz? They’re totally in it for the money.

+ Keep everything locked inside. Don’t express yourself. Art is a no-no. Watch tons of TV instead.

+ NEVER write in a journal!

+ Forget counseling – ask your biased friends for feedback. OH, and promptly ignore it, especially if everyone is giving you the same advice.

+ Stay away from all friends. And whatever you do, don’t be around animals.

+ If you have any energy at all, deplete it. Don’t use it to lavish yourself with care and love.

+ Being inside four walls is important! Nature will not help you. Nature wants you to suffer…right?

+ Stay in your bad relationship, soul-crushing job, miserable situation. You’re a trooper, you can totally put up with it.


Obviously this is all bullshit – do the opposite of all this and you can probably get through anything.

Lots of love to you in stressful times. Be clear and concise with everyone, especially yourself. Mercury is in retrograde – even if you don’t believe in Astrology, I find that this particular time really affects people, whether they realize it or not. And like me, many people pay attention to Mercury Retrograde even without paying attention to anything else in Astrology! It’s hard to ignore, once you know it exists.

Be gentle with yourself. You are important, or you wouldn’t be alive.


Screenshot from the old film Possession. Been feeling like this scene lately!