I Wanna Be an Airhead

It’s so nice when you can stop thinking.

Often, I get so wrapped up in my head, and I know I am not alone. I focus on other people instead of myself, a LOT. In regards to their place in my life, I mean.

I also focus on so many things that upset me in the world. I focus on negative shit, way too much, way more than I want to.

I had this problem totally BEAT for a while, years ago, but that was when I was single and focused 100% on ME.

And so now, dealing with so many crazy things, I feel more unhealthy, more unstable, but still, I don’t like to give up on people that I care for, nor do I want to give up on myself.

And so, I try, often, to empty my mind.

I had an epiphany one evening, months ago, when I couldn’t stop thinking about a particular issue in my life. I thought, “Why do I have to think about this all the time?!” As in, I HAD to think about it…well, is that really true?

No. All of a sudden I thought, “I don’t HAVE to think about this….” And I started to laugh.

Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Another way I try to empty my head is via Eckhart Tolle, which is to realize that there is a part of your thought process where you are LISTENING to your thoughts – the voice in your head – what part of your brain is actually LISTENING, actively to that? If you can CONSCIOUSLY become that listener…the thoughts miraculously vanish – it’s eerie! It doesn’t usually last too long, but if you practice, it gets longer and longer, and you can just re-align with that listening stance. I implemented this when I was heartbroken years ago, exhausted from thoughts of my lost love. I wanted respite so badly.

And recently, I have wished for a brain full of nothing, a head full of air. And so I picture it – I visualize with every inhalation, that my skull is being filled with air like a shiny balloon, as if there were no brain there at all. I imagine this empty, serene SPACE in my head, and I can keep focusing on this image because I keep imagining the air filling it as I breathe in every time.

Try it – being an airhead isn’t my ideal state, but at times, it is like, totally soothing.


Image by Jason Levesque.