Why You Need to Be Selfish

 

It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

In fact, it’s selfless.

If you do not put yourself first, you will not be a full enough person to give to others.

You will be too full, with no energy left for yourself. Your body and mind will be drained from an overabundance of crap – your own and other peoples.

I see the craziest accusations. One I saw the other day was that a couple were bad parents because the wife said she was excited to have no baby around for their vacation.

Really? I think that a vacation will make them better parents. It will allow them to empty themselves, to empty the reservoir, so that they have internal space again to fill up.

That space fills quickly, and usually with what we don’t want.

For instance, for months I was reading constantly about all sorts of things to do with business, self improvement, money, goals, and on and on, and it was super inspiring and I had a set schedule for blogging and writing and I was hardcore in my work towards a bunch of goals, but eventually I just needed to stop and do NOTHING.

I was too full. I didn’t have a chance to really integrate or absorb anything because I was doing too much.

And then because I was doing all these little things, I was not actually doing what I wanted to be doing – instead, I was sitting in my house on a computer all day.

Not exactly what I had in mind when my ideal life is a free one, where I do whatever I want WITHOUT a schedule, and without strictly enforced rules (even when they’re my own).

If you’re lethargic and overwhelmed, it is not selfish to say Fuck It and do what you want – as long as it is WHAT YOU WANT, and not just something to numb yourself or distract yourself.

Silence is the best thing – noise is just more junk to fill you to the brim, and you don’t want that. You want to let it all slip out in a steady stream, so you have a good internal energy flow again.

That flow equals glow.

When you take that time for you, your mood will shift, you will be happier, more attentive, more generous, more lively, kinder, softer, more creative.

When you take on the weight of the world, of your friends, family, jobs, and so on, you leave little space for what truly matters to you and makes you fulfilled. You have no energy to do those things, and so they get put in the cupboard until the day comes where you find that energy – but unless you make that space for yourself to empty and refill, you won’t ever find it. You MUST put yourself first and make that space, that time – and not just on a rare occasion, but as often as possible.

The goal here is to be the best possible human. There are already too many terrible ones. Most of us are just mediocre, which is why when we come across someone that is very kind, or very passionate, or very excited, we are baffled – and we want it for ourselves.

We all can have it, but only in certain environments and circumstances, and we have to make the room for that – our very sanity depends on it.

If we don’t make room for ourselves, we are just a jumble inside of everything we encounter – other people, the news, toxic “food,” customers, and so on – so without putting ourselves first, we are NOT ourselves at all. Those things are like parasites, sucking up all the energy and life we have (and we all have it) – when we remove those parasites, LIFE RETURNS. The energy is FREED UP for us to use again.

Get rid of all that depletes your spirit.

Excavate your home and environment of everything that distracts you.

Get out of the house, and into the forest, ocean, jungle, desert.

Have someone else watch the children for a while – for as long as possible.

Give your digestive system a break – have a day of just water, or fresh juices, of fresh fruits only.

Be in SILENCE. No phone, no music, no podcasts, no TV, no games, no internet, no news. NOTHING.

Meditate. Breathe. Let it all flow OUT.

And when you emerge again, fill yourself up FIRST with what you love – then whatever is left over can be spent on the others you love – don’t waste that space. Don’t fill up constantly with negative, harmful garbage – most of what we are surrounded by is not even necessary for us.

Do the necessary only – the essential needs, and the dire desires. The true things that sing to your soul. The only things that light you up.

Trash the rest – it’s not your shit.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Overcome Fear in an Increasingly Scary World

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to overcome fear and motivate yourself to be fulfilled in an increasingly scary world

The crumbling of this world lately is heavy on my heart.

I know society has always been this horrible. Killing people for stupid reasons – things that don’t matter. It’s so easy to be hateful.

Now these horrors are more close to home, impossible to ignore – though we continue to be distracted in order to cope, to pretend that we are safe, that we are immortal, that time for our physical bodies is never-ending.

And then wham! We are dead. We are old, feeble, destitute. We lament our wasted days, the moments we gave to useless garbage. Those are completely irretrievable – they are lost and ancient relics, not worthy of a written history, not worth calling “memories” at all, because they’re hollow – shells containing nothing at all.

I see people as conduits for astonishing beauty and discoveries – but humans on the whole seem to be a despicable species. We really have to fight our abhorrent natures to be luminaries. For some the fight is harder than for others. Some lose the war entirely, and cause more wars themselves.

We start out as beacons of hope, and for so many of us it is thwarted by other people, incidents that cause us to shatter, and the heaviness of everything going on in the world. These things drain us, jade us, and often turn us into dust.

Our lives are so fragile and easy to destroy.

Do we want an inner fire that is just an ember, so simple to smother? Or a wildfire impossible to put out?

If our bodies are killed, will we live on? Will everything inside us that was never released be lost forever? Or will we die EMPTY, having purged ourselves of all the ideas and art and music and beauty and goodness that we contain?

It is never-ending, of course. We can’t stop creating. We can’t stop loving, or doing – unless we are detached and inhuman. Too many of us are husks of our real selves – too many of us ignore those flames. We extinguish them with bullshit, with garbage, with chemicals that make life seem like a chore instead of a journey to our greater selves and the heights we can reach if we take each step of the climb to get there.

It is more important than ever to do what we have always dreamed of.

The reason we are so scared of death, particularly of premature death, is that we will not have the experiences we’ve always wanted, or to create what we’ve kept inside of us for so long. We fear that it’s too late. We fear someone else will take it away from us.

Most of us deny it to OURSELVES. Most of us are killing ourselves slowly, yet we fear someone else doing it to us – it’s happening to almost everyone, all the time. We kill ourselves with “food”, drugs, horrible soul-crushing jobs, alcohol, awful relationships, and every other thing that does not give us true fulfillment.

It is more important than ever to release what we having burning inside us – those things that scorch our souls every day, that we are scared to let out, that we fear will be judged, that we are terrified will fall flat.

The only thing that can be happen if we don’t let it all loose, is that we just exist and not much more.

The body is able to be killed, but the essence of who we are cannot be. The only way we can express ourselves in this universe, as who we are, is through the body we inhabit. This is our chance to do everything we dream of. Other than procreating, that is what a physical body is FOR.

We are not experiencing LIFE as we could be, not experiencing the natural world, the WILD, the essence of being AWAKE and AWARE of the intoxicating elixir of the universe.

Many people will see it through using medicinal plants, but astonishment and wonder are always there, and we can grasp them at any time if we pay attention. We need to listen to the calling of the heart that resides in our GUTS. It is always talking to us.

We need to stop silencing it, weighing it down, distracting it, poisoning it. It needs to be HEARD.

LISTEN.

The inferno within needs to burn and take over our lives. Our world needs visionaries with torrid passion to lead us to our own paths. We need contributions of mad desire, of dedicated obsession, of star-bright wonderment. This path is available to all, at any time – we just have to discover the way. There are no maps. The only guide we have is our own imagination.

It is more important than ever that we do it NOW, because some lunatic could just kill us at any time – a person who chose the wrong fork in the road – someone who never really got to be who they were truly destined to be – that denial of their possible greatness led them to nefarious choices. They could shoot us in the face while we sign autographs. Slaughter us while we dance at a nightclub. Murder us while we are in our car. Mow us down while we celebrate life with others. It’s impossible to know.

Unless you live through an ordeal where you almost lose your life, you may never stop taking life for granted.

Should we wait for these moments? Most people don’t have near-death experiences. Most people are already near death without even realizing it. Sitting in their chairs staring at screens, mindless, scarfing down cupcakes and pizza, slogging through cubicle jobs and corporate drudgery.

And for what?

To drown out the deep soul-calling to be what they are capable of.

Being an example of human possibility is not an easy task to take on. It takes strength and courage and love. Most of us don’t believe we have that in us.

BUT WE DO.

The time is NOW. THIS SECOND. More than ever we are at risk – but remember – most people are dying slowly every single day of their own terror – the internal terrorism of their own minds.

We need to fight that internal war more than ever. We need to conquer ourselves.

The more of us that finally listen and follow this call, the more the world will heal, the better it will be, and maybe we can finally deem human beings a species worth calling magnificent.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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Why Taking Risks is Crucial to Staying Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to go after your dreams and desires by encouraging you to take risks in life.

Tofino, 2003. Where I moved spontaneously for a year and still dream about.

It makes sense why hardly anyone goes after their dreams.

We wake up and work for other people for hours on end, going home exhausted, too tired to do what we really want to do. And on days off, we spend doing chores or errands, staying distracted, wasting time,  “keeping busy” instead of doing what is important to us.

The real shit. The important stuff is not the laundry or the dishes, it’s not playing video games, it’s not staring at a phone looking for cartoon creatures, it’s not clearing clutter off the desk or dusting the shelves. Those things can wait until after the important work – the stuff that feeds our souls.

Did you know that JK Rowling says the reason she managed to write while in poverty and get so much done, is because she lived in squalor for years?

She knew where the priorities were: Her daughter, and her dreams. The rest could wait – it’s not going anywhere.

We have it backwards. Either we need to get up REALLY early and go after what we want before we sell our souls to others to get our basic needs met, or not have “jobs” at all, and focus on our real work. Ourselves.

Your real job is yourself.

Your real money is TIME. The real focus should be FREEDOM, not things that tie us down.

We need to minimize, focus, and take little steps towards what we most desire. You know, the things your heart sings to you every night, what you daydream about while you’re stuck in the drudgery of your JOB, or what you imagine life being if you could only escape.

That is what really needs to be done, and the only way to get there is to get everything down to SIMPLE, and to take the first small step….

Eventually, we must take a GIANT one.

It has to be scary, or it’s not worthwhile.

It doesn’t need to all be worked out – in fact thinking about the outcome TOO much may hinder it from happening at all. We think about all that could go wrong, instead of all that could go right.

The thing is, we can’t imagine everything that will come our way. We simply can’t fathom certain things in life.

For example, there is no way in hell I would have ever imagined working for someone I looked up to for so long – even becoming her friend, but to have her offer me work, work that I enjoy, and that I can do nomadically and at my leisure (as long as it gets done) – never in my wildest imagination did I even consider this would be a possibility. People beg her for mentorship and to work for her, and it just fell in my lap. I didn’t even have to try. The only “step” I took was writing about how I felt about a situation happening to her, which she happened to read, and then we spoke and over time became friends. I was struggling to find a job, I couldn’t find anything in this new city I moved to – and eventually I got sick of that process and tried the opposite – ANYTHING and everything I could do to make money on my own.

Not long after, she offered me work because she wanted to help me – and she needed help, too. We helped each other.

I fully believe that this happened because my mindset changed and I started looking at life in a different way – one where I did not need a typical job to get by. I could hustle up my own way, and this allowed me so much freedom and so much more opportunity. It got rid of the humiliating processes of job-searching, the daunting, menial, boring tasks of writing cover letters and resumes – it allowed me to use my BRAIN, to problem solve, and to FIND SOLUTIONS.

No one else was offering me a solution when I wrote out my plan. No one else came to my rescue. I took responsibility, instead of feeling like a victim, and I also focused on the goodness of not being able to find a job – the freedom it allowed me. I wrote out my Plan Z and it sounded like an adventure, not destitution. But when I was finally in this mindset, a perfect opportunity came to me, that I still do in conjunction with everything else I have thought out.

Everything I do now allows me a lot of freedom. Freedom is my number one value. I can work from wherever I am, at what I enjoy. I get to say yes or no to any sort of work I take on. I set my schedule. I set my own pace. I am in charge of me, no one else.

My point in all this is to say: Jobs are something human beings should do as LITTLE as possible, so our most precious resource (TIME) can be utilized to LIVE, and to do the work we are MEANT to do – OUR OWN. Even if we do have to slave for others, in order to have enough to get by, raise children, and more, the bits of time we can allot for ourselves make every shred of difference to what will come to us in the future if we focus on simplifying our lives and focusing NOW on what we want.

The things we have always imagined. The things we have desired since childhood – the fantasies we always have. THOSE things. They are not meant to be ignored. You can do anything at all. It doesn’t matter. People surf with one arm, people snowboard who have no legs, people write books who can’t move their bodies, people escape prisons, escape war-torn countries, people survive being lost at sea – WE can overcome our stupid problems. None of these people were taught how to do these things – they managed to do them because the alternative was soul-death, a wasted life, complete and utter despair. A suicide. A half-life. They did anything and everything they could to get what they wanted, and it’s all because they were determined and knew precisely what they wanted to accomplish.

Instead of lamenting our lots in life, we must start to look for all the threads that lead away from them. They’re there, we just have to look for them – every place has ways out. Every dream has ways to begin. We just don’t want to consider them. We start off saying “I can’t.”

We need to start off saying, “I can – but how?”

And then we plan, we plot, we draw maps, we set sights on what we want, on those realities just waiting to come to life – because they can. They CAN. Despite ANY reason we can think up, they are possible.

We decide whether to prosper, survive, succeed, overcome – or we decide to turn over, be pummeled, and be steamrolled into a flat version of who we really are.

We don’t believe the visions we have of what we could be.

But we can all be them. The belief needs to be there. When we get away from the bullshit of life (the people who tell us no, the ones who tell us we’re expendable or stupid, the ones who break our hearts, the jobs that kill our souls, the towns that are so backwards we feel like aliens) and start honing in on what could allow us to move forward, we start to see the possibilities, and we start to gain confidence that JUST MAYBE we could do this thing – whatever it may be.

That fear needs to be conquered. It means we need to change ourselves.

It means we can’t identify as victims anymore.

This is the key – to choose another label. To choose one of the following: Survivor. Hero. Heroine. Boss. Warrior. Champion. Goddess. Star. Luminary. Explorer. Adventurer. Protector. Winner. Defender. Advocate. Queen. The Greatest. Fighter. Saviour.

Ditch the idea of being a victim. We are all victims of something – how we choose to overcome our setbacks is what makes the difference.

When we choose other labels, we must change ourselves – our behaviours, our beliefs, our lifestyles, in order to match our chosen identity. Then everything else will change. Friends and family may not like it, there may be backlash, struggles with money may occur – none of it MATTERS. What matters is that we become who we are meant to be – because when we are who we are supposed to be, WE LIFT EVERYONE ELSE UP WITH US.
We become inspirations, we become MENTORS. We become beacons of HOPE. We show everyone else that yes, we are humans beings, like you, who did nothing more than take a RISK, and that risk is the only thing standing between EVERY single person and what they have always wanted.

Risk doesn’t have to be so big that you potentially crash and ruin everything and everyone around you, but it has to be big enough that you change internally and your life shifts dramatically for the better.

“Take the leap” is not a cliche – it’s a bona fide CALL for everyone to step off that cliff – the landing may be hard, but we will survive – and if not? What’s the alternative? A half-life? Give me PASSION and authenticity ANY day over basic existence. We will survive, our children will survive, and they will learn from us that risk and passion is worth any adversity that might challenge us along the way.

We are imbued with life for only one reason – TO LIVE.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Get Back on Track So You Can Reach Your Destiny

How to Reach Your Destiny and Get On With LIVING. Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School inspires you how to do so and live a life you love.

 

Humans waste so much bloody time.

We do so many things that are detrimental to our bodies, our spirits, and our hearts.

Is it any wonder that most people feel deflated and lost?

Every single thing we do – we need to be asking the same questions:

  1. WHY am I doing this?
  2. Is this making my life better?
  3. Is this GOING to make my life better, later?
  4. Is this necessary?
  5. If it needs to be done, does it need to be done RIGHT NOW?
  6. Am I doing this consciously, or out of boredom?

That’s really it. These are important to consider for EVERY single thing we do.

And then, we need to know what to replace our distractions with. We need to have a focus, a plan. Without one, we have no map, and most people can’t decipher their own internal compasses.

We need a maps to get us back on our path. Even when we are lost, we will have a map to return to, to set us on the right course we need to be on for our life-long journey.

But those maps don’t already exist. We have to draw them ourselves. We have to write them.

If we don’t have something to refer to, we just drift. The chances that we will make it to our intended destinations are almost non-existent.

So, let us question our every thought, every movement, every second, so we can reach those glittery dream realms that we imagined as children.

They do exist, but they’re impossible to locate unless we have the maps to get us there, and the beliefs that we can reach them.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Feel Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School writes about how to feel alive, how to really live, poetry about life, naomi campbell with a cheetah running in the wind

Only certain things make me feel completely alive.

I don’t want to feel alive only some of the time.

I need a vigor and a lust to feel free, or when the day ends I feel like my minutes and seconds have been wasted on the minutiae of life, the things that really do not matter.

Where is the lasciviousness, the wonder? Where is the amazement and glory and heart-racing buzz that comes with a life fully lived?

I only feel alive when I’m adventurous
When I am fully immersed in the moment
I feel alive only when I am interacting with the real
When I am writing in full speed
When it flows like potions
When it just screams out and I can’t contain it
I can’t help but dance
because there is only motion
I can’t help but run
because there is only wind
I can’t help but kiss and squeal and swoon
because there is only desire

Every morsel tastes like orgasms
Every touch feels like the universe is coursing through my blood
Every movement feels like I’m a warrior
Every breath feels like fresh forest streams

Sex feels like I’m in another dimension
Love feels like the only thing that exists
Nature feels like the only real home
Sleep feels like a teacher
Waking feels like rebirth
So it can all begin again
Where life can seep through the pores
Into the viscous fluid of the veins

Passion is the true blood in the body
We so seldom let it flow
My blood will be replaced with the universal elixir…

It’s called LIVING.

~~~

Recommended Reading:

Why You are Wild.
Wildling Manifesto.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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No Cheat Days Allowed

lorra fae wildfire tells you why cheat days are not good for you try to avoid a cheat day to better your life so you can create success and health and become your best self

I don’t have cheat days.

The whole idea of creating a lifestyle change and then damaging it with cheat days is bizarre to me.

When it comes to health and prosperity, why cheat? The changes made are for the betterment of the self, not to deprive oneself of anything.

Cheating on new habits is cheating yourself, and nothing more.

I find an all-or-nothing approach works the best. Give it 100%.

Without a cheat day, there will be BETTER results than expected. If there is competition involved, there will be a advantage. If there is health involved, vibrancy will expand even higher. If there is exercise involved, strength will be taken even further.

Results can only be bigger. Success can only be more imminent. Strength can only be greater. Life can only be better.

Cheating is a lie to oneself. It’s saying, “You’re not good enough to stick with this completely.” It’s saying, “You don’t really want to be doing this. What you really want to be doing is that…and you’re depriving yourself of it.” Deprivation breeds rebellion, and not many people can resist that for long. It’s also a tempting, naughty reward – something to look to the future for, instead of focusing on NOW.

We’re addicts and easy-pleasure seekers – it’s ingrained in us. Our ancient brains tell us to take the easy way, the comfortable way – and with all the choices around us and all the lies we’re fed from every direction, it’s so simple to get overwhelmed and say Fuck It and go for the easy route.

Dreams are not easy. They require complete dedication, not cheating.

Cheating is for people who don’t want the best results. It’s for people who don’t want to be the best possible version of themselves. It’s the opposite of dedication, or obsession.

Obsession is a good thing when it elevates who we want to become. We can’t cheat life, and we can’t fool our bodies, or our minds – so let’s throw the cheat days in the incinerator where they belong, along with all the bullshit that keeps us from being the most galactic versions of ourselves.

We need to remove the locks from the cages that hold those versions in, and we will never get there by cheating – we need to focus on the exact methods to set ourselves free.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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Find Your Flame

Lorra Fae Wildfire teaches you how to find your flame, live your dreams and improve life

We all have the gift of a conscious, creative brain.

Why not USE it as much as possible? Don’t squander it.

Otherwise you’re just kind of…there. Like a worm…or a stump. Alive, but just existing, not LIVING.

When you’re truly alive, you’re living as you should, as you dream of.

This includes being aligned with nature, but also aligned with yourself.

You have desires – you must! You’re human. Being human without dreams and aspirations is like being a dragon without fire, or a shark with no fins – you just drift, gasping for breath, as you’re swept along in the tides of life, but you’re not swimming WITH them.

Find your flame, and move your fins, because you are otherwise just dust, molded into a human shape, before you scatter into the stratosphere.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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