How to Overcome Fear in an Increasingly Scary World

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to overcome fear and motivate yourself to be fulfilled in an increasingly scary world

The crumbling of this world lately is heavy on my heart.

I know society has always been this horrible. Killing people for stupid reasons – things that don’t matter. It’s so easy to be hateful.

Now these horrors are more close to home, impossible to ignore – though we continue to be distracted in order to cope, to pretend that we are safe, that we are immortal, that time for our physical bodies is never-ending.

And then wham! We are dead. We are old, feeble, destitute. We lament our wasted days, the moments we gave to useless garbage. Those are completely irretrievable – they are lost and ancient relics, not worthy of a written history, not worth calling “memories” at all, because they’re hollow – shells containing nothing at all.

I see people as conduits for astonishing beauty and discoveries – but humans on the whole seem to be a despicable species. We really have to fight our abhorrent natures to be luminaries. For some the fight is harder than for others. Some lose the war entirely, and cause more wars themselves.

We start out as beacons of hope, and for so many of us it is thwarted by other people, incidents that cause us to shatter, and the heaviness of everything going on in the world. These things drain us, jade us, and often turn us into dust.

Our lives are so fragile and easy to destroy.

Do we want an inner fire that is just an ember, so simple to smother? Or a wildfire impossible to put out?

If our bodies are killed, will we live on? Will everything inside us that was never released be lost forever? Or will we die EMPTY, having purged ourselves of all the ideas and art and music and beauty and goodness that we contain?

It is never-ending, of course. We can’t stop creating. We can’t stop loving, or doing – unless we are detached and inhuman. Too many of us are husks of our real selves – too many of us ignore those flames. We extinguish them with bullshit, with garbage, with chemicals that make life seem like a chore instead of a journey to our greater selves and the heights we can reach if we take each step of the climb to get there.

It is more important than ever to do what we have always dreamed of.

The reason we are so scared of death, particularly of premature death, is that we will not have the experiences we’ve always wanted, or to create what we’ve kept inside of us for so long. We fear that it’s too late. We fear someone else will take it away from us.

Most of us deny it to OURSELVES. Most of us are killing ourselves slowly, yet we fear someone else doing it to us – it’s happening to almost everyone, all the time. We kill ourselves with “food”, drugs, horrible soul-crushing jobs, alcohol, awful relationships, and every other thing that does not give us true fulfillment.

It is more important than ever to release what we having burning inside us – those things that scorch our souls every day, that we are scared to let out, that we fear will be judged, that we are terrified will fall flat.

The only thing that can be happen if we don’t let it all loose, is that we just exist and not much more.

The body is able to be killed, but the essence of who we are cannot be. The only way we can express ourselves in this universe, as who we are, is through the body we inhabit. This is our chance to do everything we dream of. Other than procreating, that is what a physical body is FOR.

We are not experiencing LIFE as we could be, not experiencing the natural world, the WILD, the essence of being AWAKE and AWARE of the intoxicating elixir of the universe.

Many people will see it through using medicinal plants, but astonishment and wonder are always there, and we can grasp them at any time if we pay attention. We need to listen to the calling of the heart that resides in our GUTS. It is always talking to us.

We need to stop silencing it, weighing it down, distracting it, poisoning it. It needs to be HEARD.

LISTEN.

The inferno within needs to burn and take over our lives. Our world needs visionaries with torrid passion to lead us to our own paths. We need contributions of mad desire, of dedicated obsession, of star-bright wonderment. This path is available to all, at any time – we just have to discover the way. There are no maps. The only guide we have is our own imagination.

It is more important than ever that we do it NOW, because some lunatic could just kill us at any time – a person who chose the wrong fork in the road – someone who never really got to be who they were truly destined to be – that denial of their possible greatness led them to nefarious choices. They could shoot us in the face while we sign autographs. Slaughter us while we dance at a nightclub. Murder us while we are in our car. Mow us down while we celebrate life with others. It’s impossible to know.

Unless you live through an ordeal where you almost lose your life, you may never stop taking life for granted.

Should we wait for these moments? Most people don’t have near-death experiences. Most people are already near death without even realizing it. Sitting in their chairs staring at screens, mindless, scarfing down cupcakes and pizza, slogging through cubicle jobs and corporate drudgery.

And for what?

To drown out the deep soul-calling to be what they are capable of.

Being an example of human possibility is not an easy task to take on. It takes strength and courage and love. Most of us don’t believe we have that in us.

BUT WE DO.

The time is NOW. THIS SECOND. More than ever we are at risk – but remember – most people are dying slowly every single day of their own terror – the internal terrorism of their own minds.

We need to fight that internal war more than ever. We need to conquer ourselves.

The more of us that finally listen and follow this call, the more the world will heal, the better it will be, and maybe we can finally deem human beings a species worth calling magnificent.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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No Cheat Days Allowed

lorra fae wildfire tells you why cheat days are not good for you try to avoid a cheat day to better your life so you can create success and health and become your best self

I don’t have cheat days.

The whole idea of creating a lifestyle change and then damaging it with cheat days is bizarre to me.

When it comes to health and prosperity, why cheat? The changes made are for the betterment of the self, not to deprive oneself of anything.

Cheating on new habits is cheating yourself, and nothing more.

I find an all-or-nothing approach works the best. Give it 100%.

Without a cheat day, there will be BETTER results than expected. If there is competition involved, there will be a advantage. If there is health involved, vibrancy will expand even higher. If there is exercise involved, strength will be taken even further.

Results can only be bigger. Success can only be more imminent. Strength can only be greater. Life can only be better.

Cheating is a lie to oneself. It’s saying, “You’re not good enough to stick with this completely.” It’s saying, “You don’t really want to be doing this. What you really want to be doing is that…and you’re depriving yourself of it.” Deprivation breeds rebellion, and not many people can resist that for long. It’s also a tempting, naughty reward – something to look to the future for, instead of focusing on NOW.

We’re addicts and easy-pleasure seekers – it’s ingrained in us. Our ancient brains tell us to take the easy way, the comfortable way – and with all the choices around us and all the lies we’re fed from every direction, it’s so simple to get overwhelmed and say Fuck It and go for the easy route.

Dreams are not easy. They require complete dedication, not cheating.

Cheating is for people who don’t want the best results. It’s for people who don’t want to be the best possible version of themselves. It’s the opposite of dedication, or obsession.

Obsession is a good thing when it elevates who we want to become. We can’t cheat life, and we can’t fool our bodies, or our minds – so let’s throw the cheat days in the incinerator where they belong, along with all the bullshit that keeps us from being the most galactic versions of ourselves.

We need to remove the locks from the cages that hold those versions in, and we will never get there by cheating – we need to focus on the exact methods to set ourselves free.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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When to Take Advice – And When Not To

A lot of people give bad freakin’ advice, and even worse, a lot of people get really good advice…and ignore it.

Deep down, all of us really know what we need to do to fix our problems, but we also ignore ourselves (and we’re lazy). Why do we ignore our better judgment? It’s insane.

A good rule of thumb is that if everyone is giving you the same advice, you should probably take it, or at least try it. But if you know deep inside that it’s not the right decision for you, listen to THAT, first.

Intuition first, advice second.

You never want to blindly follow the masses; they are almost always wrong. – G. Cardone

 

Another point to keep in mind is that whoever you’re taking advice from should be getting the results that YOU desire.

Take health and lifestyle advice from people who are thriving.
Take financial advice from people who aren’t struggling.
Take life advice from people who are living their passions and who are free. You know, happy people.
Take relationship advice from people who are still madly in love after years of being together.

How many times have you read a manual, then read another, and then another, and still not taken an action?

Have you actually ever followed someone else’s map instead of just reading it?

Even better, have you ever created your OWN map, and followed that?  Or is it still just floating in your head, along with thought bubbles for “one day” and “maybe?”

Here’s some good advice: Write that shit DOWN. Follow the map. Discover buried treasure (your possible life).

Listen to the cues of the universe. Often, the answers you are seeking are colliding with you from all sides, but you are oblivious to them because you aren’t open to changing.

Staying stagnant, staying still, are easy. Movement and change are hard. Us humans hate hard, but it’s the only way to get better.

And if you weren’t in need of a change, you wouldn’t be searching. You wouldn’t be reading this now. You wouldn’t feel the need for advice.

Often, we don’t need advice at all. We want reassurance. We want to be told what we want to hear so we don’t have to take responsibility for ourselves.

The best advice is from the voice inside. Stop numbing it. Stop ignoring it.

Stop hoping things will change, and change yourself. It’s the only way to glory.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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You Were MEANT for This!

Once in a while I doubt myself. Don’t you?

Actually, quite often. I think this is pretty normal, unless you’re blessed with that natural confidence that is just within you since childhood, usually nurtured by everyone around you. That’s a gift that most people do not have.

When I get like this, I start to question the beliefs that come up, and turn them around.

Today, I felt like…”Everything I am doing is a waste of time.”

Do you feel like this whenever you start something new, make yourself vulnerable, or try putting yourself out there?

Try turning it around.

Like so:
NOT doing these things is a waste of time. Everything ELSE is a waste of time.”

Why else would we have these deep desires unless we were meant to DO them?

Don’t just dream themstep in the direction of those desires. They’re within us for a reason. They aren’t just accidental.

We also are no accidents. We are created into this world because we are meant to be here.

We are imbued with these desires and hopes not to taunt us, but to inspire us to get off our asses and DO.

 

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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What Would it Be Like to Be as Awesome as Possible?

When you think of a spectacular human being, what attributes do they have? What do you envy them for? What traits of theirs do you covet?

You can be like them, you know.

It’s completely and utterly possible in every conceivable way.

People aren’t just BORN great – those talents and desirable qualities are cultivated over time and nurtured by those around us.

If we want to become the best possible versions of ourselves, we never will if we are constantly around people who bring us down, who make fun of us, tempt us to be lazy, convince us that it’s a waste of time, that we can’t do something, or that anything is impossible.

It’s not impossible, you know. We just BELIEVE it is, and we can switch our beliefs ANY time we want. It’s a DECISION.

Most of the time, we wait until there are disastrous circumstances in order to really go for something we never thought we could do – because that is when we realize life is fucking precious, and that we are limited in time and we better really go for it if we don’t want to have remorse as we die – if we even know we’re going to die.

We never know when it’s going to happen. It could happen to you later today. In the next few minutes. Have you told people you love them? Have you been kind? Have you done things today that you LOVE? Your very favourite things of all time?

If not, WHY? We all need to do what we adore, so we can feel what it means to be truly alive.

What would it be like if you were as awesome as you could possibly be? What if we all were? What sort of WORLD would this be if we ALL believed in ourselves and took it upon ourselves to lift each other up to be fucking extraordinary?

We all have it in us – the ONLY thing stopping us is the belief in ourselves.

We have the choice to step up and bring goodness, light, beauty, amazement, love, and trust into this world. We have the opportunity to bring hope, to help others, and to rise up. We have a chance to blow peoples’ minds. To inspire. To give. To LEARN and then teach.

Who will step up and realize how fucking amazing they really are? Will you?

We need everyone possibly to realize it in themselves, and NO doubt, you DO have it in you.

Be that blinking light in the distance, for the good of yourself and everyone else, and then burn the path to greatness so we can ALL benefit from your shine in the dark.

~~~

Recommended Reading:

Wildling Manifesto

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Have a Happy Life

There is only one person in the world who is responsible for your happiness.

You.

This is pretty much the most important realization that you will ever have in your entire life. The moment you take responsibility for yourself and your choices is more powerful and freeing than anything else you could possibly imagine.

It will FREE you.

The answer to every problem is usually the simplest, but we love to over-complicate things. Yes, sometimes things are complex, but the answers are still usually able to be put in blunt terms.

Have a shitty job? Quit.

Have a horrible relationship? Leave.

Despise your school? Switch or drop out. You can learn on your own.

Sick of your messy house? Get rid of most of your stuff.

Bored of everything? It’s because you’re boring. Challenge yourself. Become adventurous.

Hate the world? Make it better. Help someone.

Tired of being ill? Nourish yourself properly. Start sleeping enough. Get outside. Learn from people who are actually extremely healthy, not people with prescription pads.

Lonely? Take the abundant love you have inside you and give it to yourself. Get out there. Do things. You’ll meet people. Don’t be a dick. Respect others, do good things, and you won’t be lonely. It’s impossible. Even if you’re alone, you will love being with you.

Trapped? ESCAPE. People have broken out of jail, escaped from other countries, and done everything possible to get out of bad situations. If you want it badly enough, you will make it happen. There is always a way.

If you are seriously miserable in a situation, you are rarely trapped. You DO have options. You might not like them, but have you thought of them all? (No, they are endless). Have you really gone out of your comfort zone? That is where the answers lie.

Isn’t your life worth it? Isn’t being happy worth it? Otherwise, can you call it living?

You can’t be happy unless you make it a priority, and only you know what makes you happy. If you don’t know, you need to do some deep soul searching, because who wants to be bored, lonely, and depressed their entire lives? Do you want to be a curmudgeon? Do you want to die regretful?

Sometimes people think they are happy, but they numb out with the typical things, tricking themselves, but they ignore their true desires because those things got buried in the muck of whatever life threw at them.

Life bumps do happen. Tragedies occur, obviously. But people get through them, people get by, people heal. And the ones who don’t  – why? Staying stuck in the same spot forever is doing you no good. It’s like cement around your ankles. Get a sledgehammer and MOVE. The only way to happiness is THROUGH shitty times, and to gain the strength to say FUCK NO to whatever is holding you from that happiness. It’s to say you are worth having a good life – no one else is going to give it to you. Even if you are handed anything you could ever want, if you don’t feel you deserve it, it won’t matter.

Believe you deserve a good life. If you are a good person, you deserve to be happy, just because you are alive.

 

~~~

Please leave a comment!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

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How to Start Living When You’re Afraid

Photo by Lorenza Daprà.

Have you ever heard that cliche that goes: FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real?

In regards to most things, this is totally true. Fear is useful when you are in a fight-or-flight situation. It’s why you even have fear in the first place. It’s useful when you are potentially going to die.

It’s not useful when you want to go forth with something important and you freeze, panic, retreat, and go nowhere. You just stare at screens, eat junk, numb out, go to work, sleep, drink, whine about boredom.

(Psst – you’re bored because you’re ignoring your dreams).

So how do you get past FEAR?

  • Realize that your fear is not based on any reality. It’s based on your beliefs, ONLY, or possibly on things that have happened to you in the past. The best ways to get past these fears are to: A) Be so overwhelmingly passionate about what you are doing that fear can be bypassed by tenacity and purpose, and: B) Questioning your beliefs.
  • Do some research into people that you really admire, and see what fears they have overcome, and how. Nobody is immune to fear and anxiety when it comes to going for what they want. Realize that every person who has ever accomplished anything amazing has been just as human as you, and just as nervous as you.

“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”
― Georgia O’Keeffe

  •  Ask yourself if you are afraid of failure, or success. Most people are unknowingly afraid of both. Success comes with a lot of drawbacks like criticism and usually a hard work ethic, so even if you manage to bypass the initial fear of failure, you may hold back for fear of actually succeeding. Don’t. We need you, we need your passion – nobody can please everyone. Can you imagine if everyone loved you?! Every failure is a stepping stone to succeeding. Absolutely no one, EVER, has succeeded at something right away. It takes dedication and tenacity. You must look at “failure” as steps on a ladder to your dream. If you were climbing, and slipped down a couple of notches, but the best reward possible was at the very top, would you stop climbing just because you slipped? Is that “failure?” Or is it learning?
“If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.”
– Sun Tzu
  • Get scared of the alternative. Ask yourself what will become of you if you don’t pursue what you most love. Picture it. Dream it as if it’s a nightmare (it is). Write it out. Draw or describe yourself as an old person, and feel how that would feel. Really feel it. Then do everything possible to make sure the opposite happens.
  • Write out a story of the person you’d love to become. It doesn’t have to be well-written – don’t edit it, don’t worry about grammar, just write the story of who you want to become. Meditate on how that would feel. The feeling and emotion is important. Then figure out your first steps to becoming who that is. Write about yourself as if you were a character in a novel – write how this character becomes an amazing, inspiring, beautiful human being, and then do the same things, in real life.
“What is a fear of living? It’s being preeminently afraid of dying. It is not doing what you came here to do, out of timidity and spinelessness. The antidote is to take full responsibility for yourself – for the time you take up and the space you occupy. If you don’t know what you’re here to do, then just do some good.”
– Maya Angelou
  • Take SMALL steps, every day. Even if they seem like the tiniest, most useless steps – they’re steps. These will add up over time, and your confidence will build, because you will see progress.
  • Remember that any fear you feel is only in your mind. There is no monster in front of you. It’s not real. The scariest thing to consider is a secure, boring mediocre life, because you get just one, and you don’t get another chance. Let that terrify you. That is far scarier than any single thing you could possibly be up against.

“In the beginning there is not much difference between the coward and the courageous person. The only difference is, the coward listens to his fears and follows them, and the courageous person puts them aside and goes ahead. The courageous person goes into the unknown in spite of all the fears.”

-Osho

 

True failure is not giving your whole heart over to what you love to do. True failure is not living your life fully. True failure is merely existing instead of really being alive.

You cannot fail, if you step bravely towards what you are meant to do.

~~~
 
Recommended Reads:
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway – by Susan Jeffers
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.
The Possible Human – Jean Houston
Courage by Osho (epic – if this doesn’t inspire you to be bold and courageous within 10 pages, I dunno what will).

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