Wants are going to fizzle out, or go nowhere, without WHYS.
What do you want? Why do you want it?
I always wanted to be happier, healthier, fitter – but I never stuck to it until I had a real reason, and one that was really important to me – or even a life or death thing, like changing my diet.
I had no degenerative disease (that I know of, but things percolate for years before showing up, usually) but I was so mentally distressed that I was at a point of wanting to kill myself, which had never crossed my mind before. I didn’t really want to die but sometimes it was so incessant that I really believed I did.
So there was my reason – I wanted to live, and in order to do that, I had to get healthy, and I knew my diet was the place to start.
But now, my goal is to be even healthier. In fact, last night I realized my goal was to be “Healthy as FUCK.”
But why? Why am I suddenly able to stick to an exercise routine, especially jogging/running which tends to bore me after 5 minutes? I can push past it now and enjoy it.
This is a really good thing to break down for ANY aspiration you may have – be like an obnoxious toddler and ask WHY until you get to the DEEPEST reason.
I already know why I want to eat well. So, why do I want to be fit?
To be healthier, leaner, stronger, more youthful. For longevity.
So I can live longer to experience more. So I can say YES to anything and be able to keep up. So I can look great for a very long time. So I will be self-sufficient and mobile until I die. So I can escape people who want to harm me. So I can be capable and independent.
So I can experience more. To be happy. So I can take part in more things without getting tired. Self-confidence.
So I feel like I am really living.
To feel free.
Generally all my goals come down to the same thing: Freedom.
And why do I want freedom? Because I want to really live – this flips back and forth: really living, freedom, really living, freedom, etc.
So I know those are my base reasons for doing pretty much everything.
I learned this method a long time ago in a little class I took, and we ended up writing our “Why” words on wooden boards (mine was Freedom), and then over a half hour we revved ourselves up and learned how to break the boards with our hands. Once you do that, you feel like you can do anything! I kept that board for years, and it was a good reminder that my ultimate goal was freedom, so I can do all the things I REALLY love to do.
I am not completely free – true freedom in North America is a complete illusion – but I am definitely on my way, and I have a lot more freedom than most people I know, because I focus on it.
To know the WHY is a good way to figure out if your desires and pursuits are even worthy of your time. Your base reasons may be completely frivolous and you won’t even know it – you may realize that you want something for such a backwards reason – like buying shoes because you want to be loved, or wanting to go sky-diving so people think you are brave, but those are not really things you want to do for your SELF.
So what is your WHY?