How to Feel Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School writes about how to feel alive, how to really live, poetry about life, naomi campbell with a cheetah running in the wind

Only certain things make me feel completely alive.

I don’t want to feel alive only some of the time.

I need a vigor and a lust to feel free, or when the day ends I feel like my minutes and seconds have been wasted on the minutiae of life, the things that really do not matter.

Where is the lasciviousness, the wonder? Where is the amazement and glory and heart-racing buzz that comes with a life fully lived?

I only feel alive when I’m adventurous
When I am fully immersed in the moment
I feel alive only when I am interacting with the real
When I am writing in full speed
When it flows like potions
When it just screams out and I can’t contain it
I can’t help but dance
because there is only motion
I can’t help but run
because there is only wind
I can’t help but kiss and squeal and swoon
because there is only desire

Every morsel tastes like orgasms
Every touch feels like the universe is coursing through my blood
Every movement feels like I’m a warrior
Every breath feels like fresh forest streams

Sex feels like I’m in another dimension
Love feels like the only thing that exists
Nature feels like the only real home
Sleep feels like a teacher
Waking feels like rebirth
So it can all begin again
Where life can seep through the pores
Into the viscous fluid of the veins

Passion is the true blood in the body
We so seldom let it flow
My blood will be replaced with the universal elixir…

It’s called LIVING.

~~~

Recommended Reading:

Why You are Wild.
Wildling Manifesto.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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No Cheat Days Allowed

lorra fae wildfire tells you why cheat days are not good for you try to avoid a cheat day to better your life so you can create success and health and become your best self

I don’t have cheat days.

The whole idea of creating a lifestyle change and then damaging it with cheat days is bizarre to me.

When it comes to health and prosperity, why cheat? The changes made are for the betterment of the self, not to deprive oneself of anything.

Cheating on new habits is cheating yourself, and nothing more.

I find an all-or-nothing approach works the best. Give it 100%.

Without a cheat day, there will be BETTER results than expected. If there is competition involved, there will be a advantage. If there is health involved, vibrancy will expand even higher. If there is exercise involved, strength will be taken even further.

Results can only be bigger. Success can only be more imminent. Strength can only be greater. Life can only be better.

Cheating is a lie to oneself. It’s saying, “You’re not good enough to stick with this completely.” It’s saying, “You don’t really want to be doing this. What you really want to be doing is that…and you’re depriving yourself of it.” Deprivation breeds rebellion, and not many people can resist that for long. It’s also a tempting, naughty reward – something to look to the future for, instead of focusing on NOW.

We’re addicts and easy-pleasure seekers – it’s ingrained in us. Our ancient brains tell us to take the easy way, the comfortable way – and with all the choices around us and all the lies we’re fed from every direction, it’s so simple to get overwhelmed and say Fuck It and go for the easy route.

Dreams are not easy. They require complete dedication, not cheating.

Cheating is for people who don’t want the best results. It’s for people who don’t want to be the best possible version of themselves. It’s the opposite of dedication, or obsession.

Obsession is a good thing when it elevates who we want to become. We can’t cheat life, and we can’t fool our bodies, or our minds – so let’s throw the cheat days in the incinerator where they belong, along with all the bullshit that keeps us from being the most galactic versions of ourselves.

We need to remove the locks from the cages that hold those versions in, and we will never get there by cheating – we need to focus on the exact methods to set ourselves free.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

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The Importance of Obsession

I think that to get the most out of life you have to be obsessed with what you love.

Otherwise you just dip your feet in, get them damp, then dry off – boring. Fucking dive in, man. Get soaked. Be completely drenched. Immerse yourself until you are absolutely covered, annihilated by your dreams. Let them overtake you.

Do you notice that the people you admire are the ones who obsess over what they do? It’s never the people who sort of have a dalliance with something they kinda like – those people tend to be mocked. The really admirable ones are the ones who obsess, who swallow their passion whole, without teeth, but who will bite down on something as soon as it appears so it won’t escape.

They will stay up for days, not eat, and will sustain themselves purely on what they love. They will ignore all else. They will live off scraps so they have all time to themselves.

They give up the less important things. They only hang out with people who support them. The ones who don’t, get spat upon or laughed at, or simply brushed off. Whatever, you say, my life, my love, is most important – otherwise what am I here for?!

You may live for something completely different than everyone else, but you have a passion, a talent – even if it’s for something you think is not “important” – just know what it is you love, and what it is you obsess over – and let it take over your brain.

For me, if i have something i love, it’s all i focus on. It could be a person, a book, a drawing, a project – and the things that get forgotten about are things that fall aside, to make room for the important fascinations – the ones that always return, even if i take a break – the ink drawings, the delectable words of books, the luscious fruits, the crashing waves, the prose and memoirs, the dogs with their wiggling butts. They are all my heart-thumping obsessions.

Sometimes, like anyone, i forget them – either I am so tired I zombify, or I am deadened by winter. I start to think nothing matters. But when I constantly barrage myself with inspiration, at all times, I then recall my former passion.

When you are forgetful, this is when it is most important to obsess. When you are depressed, this is when it is most important to treat yourself with the utmost care.

When you really want to do something, and it’s not natural to you, you MUST obsess or you will not make it natural – things become fluid and easy when you just throw yourself in, all or nothing. Breathe it, inhale it, suffocate in it. It will become as ingrained as a cavity. It may fade, and if it does, just push yourself off that cliff again and save yourself with immersion.

Pursuing your passions is part of this – to deny yourself your lifeblood, your brain candy, is like telling the universe to fuck off.

I realized last night that all religions are based on the fear of death – none of us want to die, and so we focus (if that person has a religion) on how to live “properly” so that we can have a nice afterlife, because we don’t want to die. We’re all terrified of it. In order to transcend death, leave your legacy behind – do something with the life you have – even if you transcend death, you will no longer have a physical body to enjoy earthly pleasures. Even if you reincarnate, you will be a different being with a different experience.

And so, who you are now – you must express that. You are only YOU, once. In THIS body, once.

Obsess, create, love, in only the way YOU can, right now, this lifetime.

I am Inspired by Everything


Music: Ups and downs, churns and timpanies, gruff growls and intense booms, vibrating vibrato and deep cool burns. The lashing of tongues and spitting of screams. The banshees and the sweet tinkle of bell-voices. The lacerating manic shrieks, the diamond violins, the thundering drums, the lightning keys, the blistering bayonet of basslines. I may suck in my breath for a whole bridge, or grit my teeth for a chorus cacophony, feeling every pore contract and every hair extend. When it pulses through each vein and hits my heart with a well strung arrow, I know it has hit that pulsating organ with all the energy I could possibly need for months.

Literature: The stream and twist of the letters in sequence, a lift in my breath from a lift in verisimilitude, the bloom of events meant to stir deliquium, the cozy familiarity of characters who feel real – concoctions probably based on reality, who are they? I want to know them. I want to dive into a page and swim with syntax, the page water and the ink swells, an oil spill of knowledge, the waves of paragraphs pushing me toward the shore of conclusion.

Art: Ink blots, Rorschach spreading into birds, faces, dandelions, gorillas, apples, forests, hydrangeas, gowns, nebulae – pearls of watercolours, crystals formed of clay, scratches of chalk, caramelized pastels, acrylic constellations, crayon creatures, they all speak to me because I am made of colours and pigments. My brain is grey so as to be infused with brightness and  fuchsia and marigold, neon leaves and vibrant lilac skies. Moondrops made of oily rainbows spread and blister into indigo bruises, chunky dried paint clusters on my heart.

Film: Truth or not there are always parts of us in the moving pixels – the ripples of alchemy, the light showing us the beauty in a simple object, an almost unnoticeable expression, the resplendence of a dewdrop on an eyelash. We need stories, and sometimes in motion – the eyes want loveliness and a screen is a pathway. Billowing daydreams out of your head, they mesh with images onscreen. We must always be moving. We must always be learning. The representation of horrors and triumphs and relationships and dance and fantasy – lay down and let it wash over the synapses, relax and let someone else think for you, meditate on imagery, melt into the visions of other human beings.

Nature: Light, storms, the fronds of trees, the tusks of elephants, the ferocity of lions, iridescent beetles, flies in spider cocoons, jewel eyes, sleek snakes in the reeds, clouds overpowering the blue, rain pummeling the grass, bull-rushes surrounding bullfrogs, chirping tuis, desert landscapes, every grain of sand a star in the universe, galaxies watching over us, the blindness of night, moon craters dipping into the tides, waves pushing forward the people brave enough to sway upon them, sunlight liquefied in leaves, wild blueberries, brambles and nettles, stinging ants, vines to entangle, Venus fly traps with piranha teeth, rivers gushing like orgasm, mountains to intimidate,
vicious sharp-teeth lurking in the deep, talons coming down from the sky, let’s all go to the sea and dip our toes into the infinite, drown ourselves in life, all of us are water, all of us are earth, we are all air, we are all fire.

People: My sister, my brother, you are made of all the same matter, your cells split for the same reasons, your limbs move for the same purpose, your brains are the same empty matter to fill – please unfurl it into a lengthy vine, let each leaf grow into a dream, let each flower bloom into a song. The sun for your brain is curiousity, the water for your brain is literature, the food for your brain is creativity, the sustenance for your brain is companionship, human and non-human, to lift you, push you, move with you, entangle you, embrace you – churn out all the beauty in you to crash down like comets into the world, to shoot like meteors into minds shrouded with steel – break them open, break me open, show me my downfalls, lead me into life, utopia hides in the dark.

Food: Luscious dripping mango, sticky lines down my throat, lemon rinds and orange zests, indigo   berries, scarlet apples, freckled bananas, the sweet roots of lettuce. Sun dried tomatoes chewed to pulp, a tang of grape, a sweet pudding of date squished between molars, scents from within, pomegranate pupils, nostrils pressed into durian pods. Pineapple cuts my tongue into razor edges,
unripe,  eyes feast on coconuts, nibbles of dandelion leaves, wild salal, crisp snap peas, projectile tomato seeds, stains on teeth, smears on cheeks, smiles on lips.

Animals: The softness of down on the cheek. Purrs assimilate with your breath. Wagging tails align with heartbeats. Strong muscles built with wild fruits and emerald blades cross your gaze in the jungle. Eyes peer from the trees. Elephants loom above with parasol ears, they cross the plains and touch the bones of lost ones. Lions laze in a daze. Elsewhere sharks loom, and jellyfish pulsate. Bats hover. Narwhals dive. Dolphins scatter and come together, twisting pleasure. Caribou in snow leaving little twig toe prints, suede-noses, steam breath, fine velvet antlers. Babies tiptoeing behind. Moose with voluminous crowns. Diamond backed otters. Zen-like cows as if dipped in inks. Sloth babies murmur and eat hibiscus. Pandas tumble in the bamboo. Falcons dip their toes into the thermals. Condors gaze down, the rare spies of above. Wolves rake their lips back and teeth shine. Lemurs dance upon fruit peels. Crocodiles bake their curled grins and arched backs. Where are the mammoths, where are the dodos? Where will the tigers be? where will we be without them all?

Fashion: Drape tiger-lilies around me, so I can slip into the sunlight. Adorn me with feathers so I can fly on to dance floors. Rocking-horse heels, sequined eyelids, rainbow tresses, popsicle lips – my ears droop with rubies, my legs are shellacked with latex. I am encased in spiderwebs, I am dipped in linen. Screaming bodies say to paint them with fabric, leave no limb neglected.

Sex: The loss of innocence only to be born again the moment you stop, then over and over until you feel every blood cell move with lightspeed to your chest, all at once, the cerebral cortex like a chainsaw cutting through your spine, opening you like a peach to swallow every morsel, all atoms suddenly visible, all focused on the moment, every thought here and now, you are the zen master.
Sex will electrify the world, the untapped energy source, the new fuel.

~~~~

Inspiration is endless – all you need to do is look, keep open, appreciate constantly, and be aware of beauty in amongst the gloom.

This is by no means a complete list – I just wanted to get it out there or I could write it for years.

~~~~

Photos all from Pinterest. Top 2: Unknown. 3: Vali Myers (Moby DIck). 4. Doom Generation film still (weird movie, great visuals). 5: National Geographic (I think). 6. Hans Silvester (Natural Fashion: Tribal Decoration From Africa). 7/8/9/10: Unknown.

True Luxuries

Photo by Obsessive-Photographer Nirrimi

So much time and energy is spent making useless things. So much time is spent shopping for, and buying needless objects. So much time is spent on accomplishing nothing – not resting, which is necessary, but doing nothing at all.

I think it is time to wake up and actually make necessary objects – at least that are going to be valued and treasured.

Beauty is necessary, and so is passion. This is why luxury items are so sought after – it is also why they are worth so much – the time, effort, and skill behind them are exciting, and we crave them because we want to have a part of ourselves be near it – if we cannot create it ourselves.

The true luxuries in life are overlooked by too many. Health, for one – true health, not aesthetics, weight loss, and the like. The vibrant feeling of well-being, the clear thought processes, the dynamic feeling of self-sustainability – when you are truly healthy you feel like you can achieve anything, and when you believe it is possible, you begin to see the pathways to achieving them.

Other true luxuries – pure air, sunshine, nature, animals, well-constructed garments, free-time to spend with others and yourself, books, traveling – there are many true luxuries that will obviously differ between every person. However I find that most people do not focus on their true desires, they follow a pattern of things they think they want.

An example of my own – I realized today, as I was driving home, that I was very tempted to go and buy something at the bookstore (I have a small amount left on a gift card, so would still be spending some of my own money). When realizing this and knowing how much I want to travel, it was easy to keep on my original path. I was actually surprised at how easy it was for me to resist because this is something I have been doing for a huge chunk of my life. Yes, I love reading, and yes I will never stop – but when did reading equate to buying and owning every book I am interested in?

Now I just want to own books I truly cherish, and the rest I can borrow. The money I earn can go to my luxuries – surf trips, organic fresh fruit, things that really resonate with me. They most likely will be experiences, but may also be concrete things, like an art print or a rare film. It may very well be a new book, but I am not mindless about it anymore – staying aware is so important. I am also aware of necessity and quality – I don’t shop much and when I do it’s usually second-hand. It’s so easy to overspend when at a thrift shop, and I end up with many things that I don’t often wear. Now I am very choosy, even if something costs a dollar.

Other examples are the things I make – I know I don’t need to post daily on here to be productive – I would rather post every two or three days when I feel like I have something to say, that may be helpful. I ask myself: Would this actually resonate with anyone?

I really admire the people that put a lot of thought, effort, and beauty into the things they say, the things they stand for, and the things they make. It makes me want to put more effort into what I do – it is ultra inspiring. Even if what they do is not technically “my way” – it is still so uplifting.

Some people might be intimidated by others’ talents, but switch your thinking and use them as inspiration. Why are they inspiring? What is it about what they do that speaks to you? Why does that impress you?

I used to be enamoured with many talents of certain guys I liked – eventually I realized that the things they did that impressed me were things I wanted to try myself – they were just the ones to expose me to new ideas. I didn’t say to myself, oh i could never do that – I tried it for myself, and the things I enjoyed stuck with me. Most did not, for the passion did not develop. I will always try new things, but I now focus mainly on life-long obsessions.

To try the things that impress you may cultivate new passions – this is so important if you are feeling lackluster or lost.

‘Talent is a long patience, and originality an effort of will and intense observation.’ – Gustave Flaubert

The only difference between us, and people doing something that we wish we could do , is that they practice for hours and days and years, that they are dedicated,and obsessive, and that we do not dedicate ourselves to those things in the same ways. If we did, we would also get results. Can you imagine what you could accomplish if you spent all your wasted  and free moments working on what you love?

These ideas and things, however, should be put out into the world when they are truly of use – use can have many definitions. Are they of great beauty or helpfulness? I think that if you have any inkling that they are not up to your true potential, that you may want to keep at it until they are. That is not to say your practicing is not worth anything – it is that it will push you to be outstanding. You will know it is right when you feel no fear putting it out in the world.

I believe that this is the reason I have not yet written books. I have worked on writing since I was a child, and even though my writing has improved a great deal, I will still keep improving until I feel I have something really worth putting out there. There is so much that is only made for money – I was listening to an interview today and the topic of classic books came up – the woman was so impassioned about the topic that I felt a strong desire to read classics – not because I felt guilty but because she relayed their importance. I am not someone who automatically reaches for a best-seller, far from it – I seek out much of what I read on my own. I really have left classics in the dust, though – I have read some, but surprisingly few. Most people go directly for best-sellers, and I’m sure (and know) many are good, but will they stand the test of time like classic books?

I am not negating that many people love less-than-amazing things out there – I myself like several things that would be considered ridiculous and worthless. But this is about passion! I don’t spend too  much time on those things at all.

I am reigniting my flame and aspiring to really up the ante in the things I adore about life. To see, learn, read, and appreciate the true beauty in carefully crafted things. To go out and experience things I will have fond memories of when I am about to die.

We get so little time, we should spend it putting more beauty into the world, a place where so much darkness reigns. So much time is spent being mindless, entertained, and oblivious. So much importance is put on money, and owning things, and expensive things that masquerade as luxury – though I am not saying that those things are not important to some people – to most, it is a feeling they desire, not the object itself. Much more valuable is time and so we must learn to spend it well, on the things that light us up.

~

If it has meaning to you, why? If it speaks to you, why?

You admire that person – why? You’re impressed – why?

You could do it, too – yes.

~

I’m actually asking you, out there, the questions above. Please share.