Why You Need to Be Selfish

 

It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

In fact, it’s selfless.

If you do not put yourself first, you will not be a full enough person to give to others.

You will be too full, with no energy left for yourself. Your body and mind will be drained from an overabundance of crap – your own and other peoples.

I see the craziest accusations. One I saw the other day was that a couple were bad parents because the wife said she was excited to have no baby around for their vacation.

Really? I think that a vacation will make them better parents. It will allow them to empty themselves, to empty the reservoir, so that they have internal space again to fill up.

That space fills quickly, and usually with what we don’t want.

For instance, for months I was reading constantly about all sorts of things to do with business, self improvement, money, goals, and on and on, and it was super inspiring and I had a set schedule for blogging and writing and I was hardcore in my work towards a bunch of goals, but eventually I just needed to stop and do NOTHING.

I was too full. I didn’t have a chance to really integrate or absorb anything because I was doing too much.

And then because I was doing all these little things, I was not actually doing what I wanted to be doing – instead, I was sitting in my house on a computer all day.

Not exactly what I had in mind when my ideal life is a free one, where I do whatever I want WITHOUT a schedule, and without strictly enforced rules (even when they’re my own).

If you’re lethargic and overwhelmed, it is not selfish to say Fuck It and do what you want – as long as it is WHAT YOU WANT, and not just something to numb yourself or distract yourself.

Silence is the best thing – noise is just more junk to fill you to the brim, and you don’t want that. You want to let it all slip out in a steady stream, so you have a good internal energy flow again.

That flow equals glow.

When you take that time for you, your mood will shift, you will be happier, more attentive, more generous, more lively, kinder, softer, more creative.

When you take on the weight of the world, of your friends, family, jobs, and so on, you leave little space for what truly matters to you and makes you fulfilled. You have no energy to do those things, and so they get put in the cupboard until the day comes where you find that energy – but unless you make that space for yourself to empty and refill, you won’t ever find it. You MUST put yourself first and make that space, that time – and not just on a rare occasion, but as often as possible.

The goal here is to be the best possible human. There are already too many terrible ones. Most of us are just mediocre, which is why when we come across someone that is very kind, or very passionate, or very excited, we are baffled – and we want it for ourselves.

We all can have it, but only in certain environments and circumstances, and we have to make the room for that – our very sanity depends on it.

If we don’t make room for ourselves, we are just a jumble inside of everything we encounter – other people, the news, toxic “food,” customers, and so on – so without putting ourselves first, we are NOT ourselves at all. Those things are like parasites, sucking up all the energy and life we have (and we all have it) – when we remove those parasites, LIFE RETURNS. The energy is FREED UP for us to use again.

Get rid of all that depletes your spirit.

Excavate your home and environment of everything that distracts you.

Get out of the house, and into the forest, ocean, jungle, desert.

Have someone else watch the children for a while – for as long as possible.

Give your digestive system a break – have a day of just water, or fresh juices, of fresh fruits only.

Be in SILENCE. No phone, no music, no podcasts, no TV, no games, no internet, no news. NOTHING.

Meditate. Breathe. Let it all flow OUT.

And when you emerge again, fill yourself up FIRST with what you love – then whatever is left over can be spent on the others you love – don’t waste that space. Don’t fill up constantly with negative, harmful garbage – most of what we are surrounded by is not even necessary for us.

Do the necessary only – the essential needs, and the dire desires. The true things that sing to your soul. The only things that light you up.

Trash the rest – it’s not your shit.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save

Advertisements

Why Taking Risks is Crucial to Staying Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to go after your dreams and desires by encouraging you to take risks in life.

Tofino, 2003. Where I moved spontaneously for a year and still dream about.

It makes sense why hardly anyone goes after their dreams.

We wake up and work for other people for hours on end, going home exhausted, too tired to do what we really want to do. And on days off, we spend doing chores or errands, staying distracted, wasting time,  “keeping busy” instead of doing what is important to us.

The real shit. The important stuff is not the laundry or the dishes, it’s not playing video games, it’s not staring at a phone looking for cartoon creatures, it’s not clearing clutter off the desk or dusting the shelves. Those things can wait until after the important work – the stuff that feeds our souls.

Did you know that JK Rowling says the reason she managed to write while in poverty and get so much done, is because she lived in squalor for years?

She knew where the priorities were: Her daughter, and her dreams. The rest could wait – it’s not going anywhere.

We have it backwards. Either we need to get up REALLY early and go after what we want before we sell our souls to others to get our basic needs met, or not have “jobs” at all, and focus on our real work. Ourselves.

Your real job is yourself.

Your real money is TIME. The real focus should be FREEDOM, not things that tie us down.

We need to minimize, focus, and take little steps towards what we most desire. You know, the things your heart sings to you every night, what you daydream about while you’re stuck in the drudgery of your JOB, or what you imagine life being if you could only escape.

That is what really needs to be done, and the only way to get there is to get everything down to SIMPLE, and to take the first small step….

Eventually, we must take a GIANT one.

It has to be scary, or it’s not worthwhile.

It doesn’t need to all be worked out – in fact thinking about the outcome TOO much may hinder it from happening at all. We think about all that could go wrong, instead of all that could go right.

The thing is, we can’t imagine everything that will come our way. We simply can’t fathom certain things in life.

For example, there is no way in hell I would have ever imagined working for someone I looked up to for so long – even becoming her friend, but to have her offer me work, work that I enjoy, and that I can do nomadically and at my leisure (as long as it gets done) – never in my wildest imagination did I even consider this would be a possibility. People beg her for mentorship and to work for her, and it just fell in my lap. I didn’t even have to try. The only “step” I took was writing about how I felt about a situation happening to her, which she happened to read, and then we spoke and over time became friends. I was struggling to find a job, I couldn’t find anything in this new city I moved to – and eventually I got sick of that process and tried the opposite – ANYTHING and everything I could do to make money on my own.

Not long after, she offered me work because she wanted to help me – and she needed help, too. We helped each other.

I fully believe that this happened because my mindset changed and I started looking at life in a different way – one where I did not need a typical job to get by. I could hustle up my own way, and this allowed me so much freedom and so much more opportunity. It got rid of the humiliating processes of job-searching, the daunting, menial, boring tasks of writing cover letters and resumes – it allowed me to use my BRAIN, to problem solve, and to FIND SOLUTIONS.

No one else was offering me a solution when I wrote out my plan. No one else came to my rescue. I took responsibility, instead of feeling like a victim, and I also focused on the goodness of not being able to find a job – the freedom it allowed me. I wrote out my Plan Z and it sounded like an adventure, not destitution. But when I was finally in this mindset, a perfect opportunity came to me, that I still do in conjunction with everything else I have thought out.

Everything I do now allows me a lot of freedom. Freedom is my number one value. I can work from wherever I am, at what I enjoy. I get to say yes or no to any sort of work I take on. I set my schedule. I set my own pace. I am in charge of me, no one else.

My point in all this is to say: Jobs are something human beings should do as LITTLE as possible, so our most precious resource (TIME) can be utilized to LIVE, and to do the work we are MEANT to do – OUR OWN. Even if we do have to slave for others, in order to have enough to get by, raise children, and more, the bits of time we can allot for ourselves make every shred of difference to what will come to us in the future if we focus on simplifying our lives and focusing NOW on what we want.

The things we have always imagined. The things we have desired since childhood – the fantasies we always have. THOSE things. They are not meant to be ignored. You can do anything at all. It doesn’t matter. People surf with one arm, people snowboard who have no legs, people write books who can’t move their bodies, people escape prisons, escape war-torn countries, people survive being lost at sea – WE can overcome our stupid problems. None of these people were taught how to do these things – they managed to do them because the alternative was soul-death, a wasted life, complete and utter despair. A suicide. A half-life. They did anything and everything they could to get what they wanted, and it’s all because they were determined and knew precisely what they wanted to accomplish.

Instead of lamenting our lots in life, we must start to look for all the threads that lead away from them. They’re there, we just have to look for them – every place has ways out. Every dream has ways to begin. We just don’t want to consider them. We start off saying “I can’t.”

We need to start off saying, “I can – but how?”

And then we plan, we plot, we draw maps, we set sights on what we want, on those realities just waiting to come to life – because they can. They CAN. Despite ANY reason we can think up, they are possible.

We decide whether to prosper, survive, succeed, overcome – or we decide to turn over, be pummeled, and be steamrolled into a flat version of who we really are.

We don’t believe the visions we have of what we could be.

But we can all be them. The belief needs to be there. When we get away from the bullshit of life (the people who tell us no, the ones who tell us we’re expendable or stupid, the ones who break our hearts, the jobs that kill our souls, the towns that are so backwards we feel like aliens) and start honing in on what could allow us to move forward, we start to see the possibilities, and we start to gain confidence that JUST MAYBE we could do this thing – whatever it may be.

That fear needs to be conquered. It means we need to change ourselves.

It means we can’t identify as victims anymore.

This is the key – to choose another label. To choose one of the following: Survivor. Hero. Heroine. Boss. Warrior. Champion. Goddess. Star. Luminary. Explorer. Adventurer. Protector. Winner. Defender. Advocate. Queen. The Greatest. Fighter. Saviour.

Ditch the idea of being a victim. We are all victims of something – how we choose to overcome our setbacks is what makes the difference.

When we choose other labels, we must change ourselves – our behaviours, our beliefs, our lifestyles, in order to match our chosen identity. Then everything else will change. Friends and family may not like it, there may be backlash, struggles with money may occur – none of it MATTERS. What matters is that we become who we are meant to be – because when we are who we are supposed to be, WE LIFT EVERYONE ELSE UP WITH US.
We become inspirations, we become MENTORS. We become beacons of HOPE. We show everyone else that yes, we are humans beings, like you, who did nothing more than take a RISK, and that risk is the only thing standing between EVERY single person and what they have always wanted.

Risk doesn’t have to be so big that you potentially crash and ruin everything and everyone around you, but it has to be big enough that you change internally and your life shifts dramatically for the better.

“Take the leap” is not a cliche – it’s a bona fide CALL for everyone to step off that cliff – the landing may be hard, but we will survive – and if not? What’s the alternative? A half-life? Give me PASSION and authenticity ANY day over basic existence. We will survive, our children will survive, and they will learn from us that risk and passion is worth any adversity that might challenge us along the way.

We are imbued with life for only one reason – TO LIVE.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save

Save

Save

Save

How to Feel Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School writes about how to feel alive, how to really live, poetry about life, naomi campbell with a cheetah running in the wind

Only certain things make me feel completely alive.

I don’t want to feel alive only some of the time.

I need a vigor and a lust to feel free, or when the day ends I feel like my minutes and seconds have been wasted on the minutiae of life, the things that really do not matter.

Where is the lasciviousness, the wonder? Where is the amazement and glory and heart-racing buzz that comes with a life fully lived?

I only feel alive when I’m adventurous
When I am fully immersed in the moment
I feel alive only when I am interacting with the real
When I am writing in full speed
When it flows like potions
When it just screams out and I can’t contain it
I can’t help but dance
because there is only motion
I can’t help but run
because there is only wind
I can’t help but kiss and squeal and swoon
because there is only desire

Every morsel tastes like orgasms
Every touch feels like the universe is coursing through my blood
Every movement feels like I’m a warrior
Every breath feels like fresh forest streams

Sex feels like I’m in another dimension
Love feels like the only thing that exists
Nature feels like the only real home
Sleep feels like a teacher
Waking feels like rebirth
So it can all begin again
Where life can seep through the pores
Into the viscous fluid of the veins

Passion is the true blood in the body
We so seldom let it flow
My blood will be replaced with the universal elixir…

It’s called LIVING.

~~~

Recommended Reading:

Why You are Wild.
Wildling Manifesto.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save

Find Your Flame

Lorra Fae Wildfire teaches you how to find your flame, live your dreams and improve life

We all have the gift of a conscious, creative brain.

Why not USE it as much as possible? Don’t squander it.

Otherwise you’re just kind of…there. Like a worm…or a stump. Alive, but just existing, not LIVING.

When you’re truly alive, you’re living as you should, as you dream of.

This includes being aligned with nature, but also aligned with yourself.

You have desires – you must! You’re human. Being human without dreams and aspirations is like being a dragon without fire, or a shark with no fins – you just drift, gasping for breath, as you’re swept along in the tides of life, but you’re not swimming WITH them.

Find your flame, and move your fins, because you are otherwise just dust, molded into a human shape, before you scatter into the stratosphere.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save

How to Simplify Your Morning Routine

I spent the last month starting each morning with 3 hours of self-care, and while I felt super fantastic doing so, it took up a LOT of time. However, doing it allowed me to see what is really instrumental in making my day great, and what can either wait until later in the day, or doesn’t need to be done daily at all.

This can be a really good way to figure out what is essential to your well-being and what is instrumental in moving your FORWARD in life instead of keeping you stagnant.

You can see my detailed 3 hour self-care list here, but now my basic routine will be:

1. Hydration – still 32 oz of lemon blended with water, and CALM magnesium.
2. Morning Pages – I used to do this first, but found I kept complaining about being thirsty. This can also include my daily gratitude list or The Work, if I need it.
3. Meditation – to get calm and focused for the day.
4. Going over goals – I can start with a couple minutes of looking at inspiring quotes, but it’s not entirely necessary. What’s necessary is reminding myself what is important in my life, and taking ACTION on those things.
5. Green smoothie.
6. ACTION on my most important goals. Work.

The rest of my list can be dispersed throughout the day. Movement is super important but doesn’t need to be very first thing in the morning – sometimes it will be, and sometimes not, it just depends, but the earlier the better, really, and in NATURE, so the two can be combined, even better if barefoot and connecting with the earth.

What is absolutely most important is that I am hydrated, well-nourished, and working on things that are important to me. NOT indulging in what others are doing.

It should be the same for all of us, but the majority get up and look at their phone immediately – Facebook, or email, whatever – putting the needs of other people (often whom we don’t even know) before our own. Putting ourselves first is not selfish – it allows us to be FULL and then be able to give. We can’t be at our best unless we are full of what we most need.

Simplifying it down to our VERY basics is imperative. What is essential for you to feel your very best? Do those things RIGHT AWAY when you get up for the day. If you hate getting up, then go to bed early – if you start your day hating the thought of even getting out of bed, it’s not a good omen. Good sleep is absolutely essential or life will be sludge. Who wants that?

Another thing is to eliminate what is NOT essential. Stop looking at your phone, your email, your Facebook feed – who CARES what other people are eating, or whining about? Focus on YOU. What do YOU want? Are you DOING those things? Or are you being distracted by things you won’t even think about again in 5 seconds?

Pare down everything. You don’t have to give up social media, but cut out everything that is keeping you from LIVING. I get it – some things are super inspiring – keep those, but get rid of anything that brings you down, doesn’t add to your life in some way, or is just something you’re doing to KILL TIME (which is the ONLY thing we have! Why are you wasting it, or killing it? You don’t get an infinite amount!)

It sounds so easy and simple, and it is, but the simplest step is usually the one NO one takes – WRITING IT DOWN.

If you can’t write out a plan, you’re doomed.

Everyone can afford to do this. You can’t afford NOT to.

You need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Put your plan out where you can see it all the time and look at it EVERY day when you get up, and every night before you go to sleep. EASY. FREE.

Doing this, and then following what you write down with action, is one of the best things you will ever do, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. Even if you’re the busiest person in the world, you can add to it and refine it in the few moments you have throughout the day. And guess what? If you’re that busy you need to do it even MORE, because I bet you ANYTHING that a lot of what is keeping you so busy is not even necessary and not adding to your life in any capacity, and it’s keeping you in an unmoving, bland state, where you think you are stuck forever.

You’re not. Simplicity is the key to everything. Essentialism. Adapt this, and watch your whole life shift.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save

How The Revenant Inspired Me to Be Better

From about 1993 until this year, A Clockwork Orange was my favourite film.

I’ve seen it over 45 times, and was seriously obsessed with anything to do with it as a teenager.

Then I saw the Revenant.

I know that this might not seem to go with the theme of this blog but wait….

When I saw it, throughout the whole thing, I was riveted – I knew before I ever saw it that it may end up being my very favourite movie because it combined things I really love in film – wilderness survival, beautiful cinematography, and a revenge story.

And while the story was captivating, the beauty of this film enveloped me like nothing ever had. I found myself thinking: “I will never create anything this beautiful.”

This thought haunted me for a while. But then I thought – why the hell not? I have every bit of capability to create intense beauty – just as much as anyone else. It just takes intense focus, dedication, and obsession.

The director obviously lives for making movies, and I clearly live for passion. When I thought about that film and how gorgeous it was, I started to think about ALL of my favourite things: in music, in books, photographs, art – the things that are so unbelievably gorgeous that how could I possibly fathom creating something on that level?

Well, why not? These people are as human as me or you. The point is to try, and to fail over and over and over again and then one day…it’s magic. It spills out; you’ve mastered your art – even if you can get even BETTER, you’ve reached a pinnacle moment where you just fucking SHINE.

But you have to start with crappy. You have to begin, and just do it over and over and over, and get better each time, and continue building, bettering, refining – and one day the beauty of what you create will blow at least SOMEONE’S mind, if not many minds – but of course you have to SHARE it, too.

And so, instead of feeling intimidated, I felt inspired to really try, to improve, and to “ship” no matter what, and take criticism if I must, because all I want to do is get better, all I want to do is create beauty, live healthfully, inspire others, help the world, and on and on, and the more we improve, the more the world will improve, but only if we share, only if we are brave enough to put ourselves out there, and you are the same, the same, so do it, work on what you love the MOST, and SHARE IT, so we can watch you progress and then celebrate your triumphs and faint with beauty when you reach that moment of astounding glory, because you can – we all can, we just need to find what we love the most and do it – or many things if we can’t choose – but we must do those things every damn day until we die, and leave something behind, a beauty legacy to lift everyone up when things are dark – those stories we tell can live on and help more people, inspire many, and make this world even better than it naturally is – because it’s all beautiful.

Funny how a movie inspired all these thoughts in me. I doubt that was the intent of the film – the intent was to create something beautiful and amazing, of course – but to inspire some random girl to better her attempts at everything she does – that was a byproduct.

So you never know if what you are doing will be meaningful or not – make it meaningful to YOU first, but share it with us, you never know how it will inspire someone, and make sure you put ALL of your heart into it, all of your PASSION, or why bother? If you’re not passionate about it, DROP IT, and spend that time on what you REALLY love.

Fucking do it or waste your breath, waste your time, waste your life. Time is the only currency, time is the only thing that matters – that breath sustains you more than any other thing – without breath we are dead in the dirt, and we want to thrive in the sky, making fucking rainbows and nebulas and galaxies to shine down on everyone else who is underneath a cloud of gloom.

Shine on shine on, and we will see it, you will burn in the dark and beckon us to follow. We need leaders, so lead. You can choose that role for yourself, so step up that ladder and be a north star for the lost.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save

When to Take Advice – And When Not To

A lot of people give bad freakin’ advice, and even worse, a lot of people get really good advice…and ignore it.

Deep down, all of us really know what we need to do to fix our problems, but we also ignore ourselves (and we’re lazy). Why do we ignore our better judgment? It’s insane.

A good rule of thumb is that if everyone is giving you the same advice, you should probably take it, or at least try it. But if you know deep inside that it’s not the right decision for you, listen to THAT, first.

Intuition first, advice second.

You never want to blindly follow the masses; they are almost always wrong. – G. Cardone

 

Another point to keep in mind is that whoever you’re taking advice from should be getting the results that YOU desire.

Take health and lifestyle advice from people who are thriving.
Take financial advice from people who aren’t struggling.
Take life advice from people who are living their passions and who are free. You know, happy people.
Take relationship advice from people who are still madly in love after years of being together.

How many times have you read a manual, then read another, and then another, and still not taken an action?

Have you actually ever followed someone else’s map instead of just reading it?

Even better, have you ever created your OWN map, and followed that?  Or is it still just floating in your head, along with thought bubbles for “one day” and “maybe?”

Here’s some good advice: Write that shit DOWN. Follow the map. Discover buried treasure (your possible life).

Listen to the cues of the universe. Often, the answers you are seeking are colliding with you from all sides, but you are oblivious to them because you aren’t open to changing.

Staying stagnant, staying still, are easy. Movement and change are hard. Us humans hate hard, but it’s the only way to get better.

And if you weren’t in need of a change, you wouldn’t be searching. You wouldn’t be reading this now. You wouldn’t feel the need for advice.

Often, we don’t need advice at all. We want reassurance. We want to be told what we want to hear so we don’t have to take responsibility for ourselves.

The best advice is from the voice inside. Stop numbing it. Stop ignoring it.

Stop hoping things will change, and change yourself. It’s the only way to glory.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

Save