How The Revenant Inspired Me to Be Better

From about 1993 until this year, A Clockwork Orange was my favourite film.

I’ve seen it over 45 times, and was seriously obsessed with anything to do with it as a teenager.

Then I saw the Revenant.

I know that this might not seem to go with the theme of this blog but wait….

When I saw it, throughout the whole thing, I was riveted – I knew before I ever saw it that it may end up being my very favourite movie because it combined things I really love in film – wilderness survival, beautiful cinematography, and a revenge story.

And while the story was captivating, the beauty of this film enveloped me like nothing ever had. I found myself thinking: “I will never create anything this beautiful.”

This thought haunted me for a while. But then I thought – why the hell not? I have every bit of capability to create intense beauty – just as much as anyone else. It just takes intense focus, dedication, and obsession.

The director obviously lives for making movies, and I clearly live for passion. When I thought about that film and how gorgeous it was, I started to think about ALL of my favourite things: in music, in books, photographs, art – the things that are so unbelievably gorgeous that how could I possibly fathom creating something on that level?

Well, why not? These people are as human as me or you. The point is to try, and to fail over and over and over again and then one day…it’s magic. It spills out; you’ve mastered your art – even if you can get even BETTER, you’ve reached a pinnacle moment where you just fucking SHINE.

But you have to start with crappy. You have to begin, and just do it over and over and over, and get better each time, and continue building, bettering, refining – and one day the beauty of what you create will blow at least SOMEONE’S mind, if not many minds – but of course you have to SHARE it, too.

And so, instead of feeling intimidated, I felt inspired to really try, to improve, and to “ship” no matter what, and take criticism if I must, because all I want to do is get better, all I want to do is create beauty, live healthfully, inspire others, help the world, and on and on, and the more we improve, the more the world will improve, but only if we share, only if we are brave enough to put ourselves out there, and you are the same, the same, so do it, work on what you love the MOST, and SHARE IT, so we can watch you progress and then celebrate your triumphs and faint with beauty when you reach that moment of astounding glory, because you can – we all can, we just need to find what we love the most and do it – or many things if we can’t choose – but we must do those things every damn day until we die, and leave something behind, a beauty legacy to lift everyone up when things are dark – those stories we tell can live on and help more people, inspire many, and make this world even better than it naturally is – because it’s all beautiful.

Funny how a movie inspired all these thoughts in me. I doubt that was the intent of the film – the intent was to create something beautiful and amazing, of course – but to inspire some random girl to better her attempts at everything she does – that was a byproduct.

So you never know if what you are doing will be meaningful or not – make it meaningful to YOU first, but share it with us, you never know how it will inspire someone, and make sure you put ALL of your heart into it, all of your PASSION, or why bother? If you’re not passionate about it, DROP IT, and spend that time on what you REALLY love.

Fucking do it or waste your breath, waste your time, waste your life. Time is the only currency, time is the only thing that matters – that breath sustains you more than any other thing – without breath we are dead in the dirt, and we want to thrive in the sky, making fucking rainbows and nebulas and galaxies to shine down on everyone else who is underneath a cloud of gloom.

Shine on shine on, and we will see it, you will burn in the dark and beckon us to follow. We need leaders, so lead. You can choose that role for yourself, so step up that ladder and be a north star for the lost.

~~~

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I am Inspired by Everything


Music: Ups and downs, churns and timpanies, gruff growls and intense booms, vibrating vibrato and deep cool burns. The lashing of tongues and spitting of screams. The banshees and the sweet tinkle of bell-voices. The lacerating manic shrieks, the diamond violins, the thundering drums, the lightning keys, the blistering bayonet of basslines. I may suck in my breath for a whole bridge, or grit my teeth for a chorus cacophony, feeling every pore contract and every hair extend. When it pulses through each vein and hits my heart with a well strung arrow, I know it has hit that pulsating organ with all the energy I could possibly need for months.

Literature: The stream and twist of the letters in sequence, a lift in my breath from a lift in verisimilitude, the bloom of events meant to stir deliquium, the cozy familiarity of characters who feel real – concoctions probably based on reality, who are they? I want to know them. I want to dive into a page and swim with syntax, the page water and the ink swells, an oil spill of knowledge, the waves of paragraphs pushing me toward the shore of conclusion.

Art: Ink blots, Rorschach spreading into birds, faces, dandelions, gorillas, apples, forests, hydrangeas, gowns, nebulae – pearls of watercolours, crystals formed of clay, scratches of chalk, caramelized pastels, acrylic constellations, crayon creatures, they all speak to me because I am made of colours and pigments. My brain is grey so as to be infused with brightness and  fuchsia and marigold, neon leaves and vibrant lilac skies. Moondrops made of oily rainbows spread and blister into indigo bruises, chunky dried paint clusters on my heart.

Film: Truth or not there are always parts of us in the moving pixels – the ripples of alchemy, the light showing us the beauty in a simple object, an almost unnoticeable expression, the resplendence of a dewdrop on an eyelash. We need stories, and sometimes in motion – the eyes want loveliness and a screen is a pathway. Billowing daydreams out of your head, they mesh with images onscreen. We must always be moving. We must always be learning. The representation of horrors and triumphs and relationships and dance and fantasy – lay down and let it wash over the synapses, relax and let someone else think for you, meditate on imagery, melt into the visions of other human beings.

Nature: Light, storms, the fronds of trees, the tusks of elephants, the ferocity of lions, iridescent beetles, flies in spider cocoons, jewel eyes, sleek snakes in the reeds, clouds overpowering the blue, rain pummeling the grass, bull-rushes surrounding bullfrogs, chirping tuis, desert landscapes, every grain of sand a star in the universe, galaxies watching over us, the blindness of night, moon craters dipping into the tides, waves pushing forward the people brave enough to sway upon them, sunlight liquefied in leaves, wild blueberries, brambles and nettles, stinging ants, vines to entangle, Venus fly traps with piranha teeth, rivers gushing like orgasm, mountains to intimidate,
vicious sharp-teeth lurking in the deep, talons coming down from the sky, let’s all go to the sea and dip our toes into the infinite, drown ourselves in life, all of us are water, all of us are earth, we are all air, we are all fire.

People: My sister, my brother, you are made of all the same matter, your cells split for the same reasons, your limbs move for the same purpose, your brains are the same empty matter to fill – please unfurl it into a lengthy vine, let each leaf grow into a dream, let each flower bloom into a song. The sun for your brain is curiousity, the water for your brain is literature, the food for your brain is creativity, the sustenance for your brain is companionship, human and non-human, to lift you, push you, move with you, entangle you, embrace you – churn out all the beauty in you to crash down like comets into the world, to shoot like meteors into minds shrouded with steel – break them open, break me open, show me my downfalls, lead me into life, utopia hides in the dark.

Food: Luscious dripping mango, sticky lines down my throat, lemon rinds and orange zests, indigo   berries, scarlet apples, freckled bananas, the sweet roots of lettuce. Sun dried tomatoes chewed to pulp, a tang of grape, a sweet pudding of date squished between molars, scents from within, pomegranate pupils, nostrils pressed into durian pods. Pineapple cuts my tongue into razor edges,
unripe,  eyes feast on coconuts, nibbles of dandelion leaves, wild salal, crisp snap peas, projectile tomato seeds, stains on teeth, smears on cheeks, smiles on lips.

Animals: The softness of down on the cheek. Purrs assimilate with your breath. Wagging tails align with heartbeats. Strong muscles built with wild fruits and emerald blades cross your gaze in the jungle. Eyes peer from the trees. Elephants loom above with parasol ears, they cross the plains and touch the bones of lost ones. Lions laze in a daze. Elsewhere sharks loom, and jellyfish pulsate. Bats hover. Narwhals dive. Dolphins scatter and come together, twisting pleasure. Caribou in snow leaving little twig toe prints, suede-noses, steam breath, fine velvet antlers. Babies tiptoeing behind. Moose with voluminous crowns. Diamond backed otters. Zen-like cows as if dipped in inks. Sloth babies murmur and eat hibiscus. Pandas tumble in the bamboo. Falcons dip their toes into the thermals. Condors gaze down, the rare spies of above. Wolves rake their lips back and teeth shine. Lemurs dance upon fruit peels. Crocodiles bake their curled grins and arched backs. Where are the mammoths, where are the dodos? Where will the tigers be? where will we be without them all?

Fashion: Drape tiger-lilies around me, so I can slip into the sunlight. Adorn me with feathers so I can fly on to dance floors. Rocking-horse heels, sequined eyelids, rainbow tresses, popsicle lips – my ears droop with rubies, my legs are shellacked with latex. I am encased in spiderwebs, I am dipped in linen. Screaming bodies say to paint them with fabric, leave no limb neglected.

Sex: The loss of innocence only to be born again the moment you stop, then over and over until you feel every blood cell move with lightspeed to your chest, all at once, the cerebral cortex like a chainsaw cutting through your spine, opening you like a peach to swallow every morsel, all atoms suddenly visible, all focused on the moment, every thought here and now, you are the zen master.
Sex will electrify the world, the untapped energy source, the new fuel.

~~~~

Inspiration is endless – all you need to do is look, keep open, appreciate constantly, and be aware of beauty in amongst the gloom.

This is by no means a complete list – I just wanted to get it out there or I could write it for years.

~~~~

Photos all from Pinterest. Top 2: Unknown. 3: Vali Myers (Moby DIck). 4. Doom Generation film still (weird movie, great visuals). 5: National Geographic (I think). 6. Hans Silvester (Natural Fashion: Tribal Decoration From Africa). 7/8/9/10: Unknown.