Screw the Delayed Life Plan

So many people prescribe to the same life plan:

1. You’re born.
2. You have a few years of freedom and play.
3. Then you begin SCHOOL, which is generally fun for a few years.
4. School tends to become tedious as you are forced into having your free time plagued by homework.
5. Your teenage years are either wild and frantic, or dulled down by authority. You will generally either conform or rebel. You have grandiose plans for your future. People will try, and usually succeed, at squashing them by making you be “realistic.”
6. Post-school, either you go to another school, go into massive debt to get a really good job, or a very nice piece of paper that won’t get you a job good enough to pay off your massive debt, and you will be paying it for the rest of your life.
7. Your 20s are generally spent studying and partying. Hard. This is considered “really living.” Getting drunk, getting high, and getting laid. You get a job after school where you don’t use your degree, or you get a really well-paying job that takes over your whole life. Or, you have no education and you have no debt, but then struggle in low-paying lame jobs. So you consider going back to school.
8. Relationships between people either go nowhere or go too fast. Especially in your later 20s, there is a strong “need” to get married and start a family, because of the perpetuated idea that once you’re over 30, it’s too late. So you “settle down.”
9. In your 30s, your marriage and family generally just plug along, and you go to a job you put up with because you have so much debt, so many bills, and so many mouths to feed.
10. You fantasize about the life you really want to live, and make plans to do these things once you have free time, after you’re retired. If you can retire.
11. Your “excitement” comes from going out, drinking, socializing, and excessive junk food intake. Food, TV, internet, playing the lottery, and 2 week vacations become your excitement in life. You consider this normal because it’s what everyone else seems to do.
12. You’re so tired from work, family duties, and shitty lifestyle habits, that you have no energy to pursue passions anymore, and you end up watching shows or reading about other people doing what they love, and think you are too old to make changes.
13. Finally, after 40 or so years of working at a typical job for a meager amount of money (unless you were dedicated enough to go to school to get a job to make tons of money to afford a “normal” life, and are probably still in debt for your schooling, mortgage, health bills, etc) you get to retire. Maybe.
14. Once you are free of work, responsibility to children, and maybe have your mortgage paid off, then you can relax, travel, or other things. Then you get some sort of disease from your excessive “exciting” habits.
15. You get sick, or break down, and are unable to enjoy an adventurous life that you’ve always imagined and wanted.
16. You continuously imagine how you could have done things differently. Then you die.

Is this what you want to happen? Because it happens to a LOT of people. I would say the VAST MAJORITY. There is nothing WRONG with doing things this way – it’s just that most people think they HAVE to do things this way. We’re programmed from a young age to believe this is the model of life, and it does not have to be. Most people do not want it.

Obviously this is not going to happen to everyone, but it’s so common that it’s scary.

I’ve heard this called the “delayed life plan” and think it’s a good term. I read a great manifesto about it here.

So, if you adhere to this “plan” (and it’s not a plan, it’s a brainwash) you will be waiting 60-70 years to do what you want. That is…insane. Completely insane.

You create your own life. You get to design it. If other people are trying to do it for you, or stop you, get the fuck away from them as fast as possible. Imagine how things could be different NOW.

This blog is not for people who want a normal, chill life. It’s for people who know there is something more, the people who crave adventure, the people who just can’t figure out why they’re so depressed or why they obsess over insignificant things. It’s for my people – the ones who are freaked out but do shit anyway!

It is for those who refuse to waste their precious existence on a prescribed timeline. Fuck. That.

I’ve been all of these people.

I’ve been the self-conscious person who thinks a perfect body and a college degree will make people like me and respect me, and give me a job.

I’ve been the person that is so anxious I can’t even get myself to go out the door to do something basic.

I’ve been the person who cries and despairs for no discernible reason, and can’t figure out WHY.

But I did know why, deep down, and I was ignoring it. Every time I got the courage to act on a dream, that feeling dissipated instantly, because I was on a thrilling adventure.

I was going against what most people said I shouldn’t or couldn’t do.

I still do this. It doesn’t matter how old you are. If you focus on health and your passions, you will be able to soak the FUCK out of life.

Steps to a LIVE NOW Plan!

1. Health is a priority because you will never be able to enjoy life fully if you are not healthy. Health is the most vital thing in the world. It is paramount. It is ESSENTIAL. If you are not healthy, I suggest you look into true health and get vibrantly alive from within, so that you have the energy and clarity to see yourself as you really are, to see what you’re capable of and see endless possibilities.

2. Get creative. Make a Plan Z. This will allow you to strip yourself of everything you know and come up with alternatives. I found that if I lost everything it would leave an opening to do anything. It also made me see how much I do have and how creative I could be with it, and that I am not afraid to lose things and take risks.

3. Inspire yourself. Read stories about other people, other families, other human beings who went from normalcy to excitement. I am endlessly looking for stories like these, in books, or online, because it proves to me that when you love life enough, have focus, and are hell-bent on living FULLY, it can be done.

4. Take action. Write out steps to your exceptional life. Actually DO THIS. Write it the EFF down! You may find you have to work your ass off for a while to save for something, or sell your house, or do whatever it takes to get out of debt. You may find you have to pull your kids out of school and teach them yourself as you sail around the world. You may realize that all the people you think are your friends are actually holding you back because they want you to stay who you are and not remind them that they aren’t living the lives they really want, either. “Please don’t change! Be boring with me! Let’s sail into old age together and have regrets!!”

Don’t limit yourself, and don’t let guilt or hovering “shoulds” stop you. Tell yourself you can, and you will. Change your language.

5. Give yourself constant reminders. Remember, the end of your life is coming whether you deny it or not. You’re not immortal. Remind yourself of this. I have something tattooed on my arm to remind me. Whenever I write this blog, it reminds me. I read about people doing extraordinary things to remind me. I have a goal book to remind me. I think about dying.

6. Get outdoors and into the world. Adventurous lives are RARELY lived inside.

Whatever it takes, immerse yourself in the idea that you can do more with your life. Especially if you are young. Educate YOURSELF. You don’t need to go back to school unless you are sure you want to be something very specific and that you absolutely 100% need to go to school for. Otherwise spend that money on travel, and on your PASSIONS. The happiest and most successful people I know are the ones who spend almost all their time and money on the things they love to do.

If you are older, it doesn’t matter. You can just make the shift and change your life. Be the person who obliterates the myth of being “too old” – do it and be an inspiration for others.

You can leave the person who holds you back. You can meet new, uplifting friends. You can take lessons, get a coach, or just BEGIN whatever you want. If you think you can’t before you even begin, then you are right.

Get the hell out there and enjoy the world. Yeah, there’s a lot of shit out there, but don’t focus on it. Don’t ignore it, but make sure you are enjoying every second of the joys in life as you can, because you never know when it will end…but it will, guaranteed.

What Are You Going to Do Otherwise?


A huge passion of mine is ninjutsu, which I do three times a week. On Monday I felt a bit resistant towards going. Throughout the day leading up to the hour-long drive to class, I fought against it – and then the best question ever came into my mind!

“What are you gonna do otherwise?”

My answer was, “Probably play on my computer or something.”

I said back to myself, “Is that going to make you a better ninja?”

I smirked and replied, “No….”

Very effective. Next time you are resistant to something you know you WANT to do (not should do), ask yourself that question.

Don’t wanna go to the gym? What would you be doing instead? Watching TV? Is that going to get you the body you want? Are Ross and Rachel gonna rip your abs and blast your fat? Nuh uh.

Don’t feel like working on your novel? What are you gonna do? Read Cracked and Buzzfeed? Are you insane? Open your flipping MS Word and type, bitch!

Don’t feel like practicing your oboe? Let me guess…you’d rather check out what OTHER people are doing on Facebook.

Sitting around and wishing for stuff is gonna get you nowhere. We have limited time on this plane of existence. You need take whatever steps possible to get you to where you want to be. Enjoy each step. Just because steps are small do not mean you should brush them off and fill up your time with meaningless junk. You can do that if you want, but do the important things FIRST. The more little steps you take, the closer you will be, the better you will be, the more you will be making of your life. Everything large is made of something small.

Tonight I’m going to class again. I usually want to go, but I always go regardless of how I feel, and I am ALWAYS glad I do. You will be glad you take your steps, too. But DO them.

Recommended Reading:

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life’s Work
Do the Work

Being Realistic – No Thanks

Image by Kylli Sparre

“Be Realistic.”

Is there anything worse for a creative person to hear?

A wild vixen, or a blitzkrieg dynamo does not want to know your opinion. They want you to say “Fuck yeah!” and pump them up (or just shut up).

You know all those people who you admire, idolize, admire? Why? Cuz they’re realistic and normal day-to-day humans who just settle and go for the easy way out? Nah, you really respect their tenacity and ability to dig deep and follow the path they know will make them happy.

Telling artistic or adventurous people to be realistic can be extremely damaging, especially if they are very young. Creative types are SENSITIVE and, unless they have an iron will, may be affected at a deep level, which might not even register. I am one of these people. My nerve and confidence were vandalized as a teenager, with lingering comments floating in my subconscious ever since.

Young people are the most susceptible, too, because youth is the time when confidence is most cultivated. Even as an adult, when we are more inclined to worry about things like money, if your confidence is limited, the chances of following your dreams are likely going to be crushed by that anvil of doubt. You probably won’t go for it.

It’s scarier not to.

Think about all the people you really think are The Shit. Are they realists, or did they take risks? They said “Fuck you!” to everyone who might try and talk them out of their wild fantasies.

People who chase dreams and do what they want are just as human as you. The difference is that they actually keep going, despite people who might try and tell them they’re not realistic or that they are crazy.

CRAZY IS NECESSARY.

Can you imagine these situations?

“Hey JK Rowling! Just stay on welfare, no one makes money on fantasy books about wizards.”

“Hey Bethany Hamilton! No one can surf with one arm, just go work in an office or something.”

“HEY, Kurt Cobain, punk is dead, sit down.”

I could come up with a million of these, very famous or not. I know people personally who do what they want and make a living because they are determined. They aren’t rich – who said anything about rich? This is nothing to do with money. Everyone seems to equate realism with making money – you know, I am at a point where I would rather be living in my car or in a tent and living on potatoes and dandelions, doing what I want, than to be “realistic” and working in an office or bagging groceries.

The wild ones are the ones who make the world change. They are the ones who touch your hearts. They are the ones make the songs you listen to when you’re in love or in despair. They’re the ones who make the movies you watch to lift yourself up. They’re the ones who write the books that make you want to be a better person. They’re the ones who create the beautiful images that make your throat burn and your eyes water.

Why the FUCK would you want them to be realistic?!

The likely scenario is that the ones who are saying such things are jealous, or wish they had the balls to do it themselves. Why wouldn’t you want someone else to fucking try? The best people to look up to and to emulate are the people who are true to themselves and who don’t give a shit if people agree or not – they know who they are and what to do. That is a rare trait, and enviable. It doesn’t matter if they’re into painting, music, writing, or being an astronaut, they should all be supported to do what they’re passionate about.

What is reality anyway? Reality is what is happening, right now. Right now my reality is sitting on the couch with wet hair writing this because I am pissed someone told me to be realistic, someone 13 years younger than me who knows nothing about my life, someone who insinuated I do not use my head but only follow my heart. I do BOTH. Being realistic only means to be in the moment of what you are doing. I don’t know what is going to be my reality in several years. I don’t care. I care about now. I care about doing things I love to do. I care about myself, not what other people think, and so should you. If you have dependents, fine, but you can still make some income while doing what you love. You can give certain shit up that you don’t need. You don’t need to starve, there are WAYS.

I’d rather be hungry and happy than full and miserable.

Being “realistic” (in terms of “Get a normal job where you know you’ll make money”) may lead to a different reality than you may expect. Maybe you’ll do something like that and end up so depressed that you become a drug addict and end up in a gutter with a needle in your arm. Who KNOWS? I know that’s a crazy example, but there are no guarantees for ANYTHING, so you might as well do what you like.

You wanna end up dying (inevitable!) and being like “Daaaamn, I shoulda done that, I’m a stupid idiot.” Or do you wanna end up like “YEAH I fucking lived it up – I may have been broke but at least I’m ready to die!”

You get one life. ONE. Why waste it? You don’t get time to waste. There IS no time to waste. Don’t just exist, fuckin’ LIVE IT.