How to Overcome Fear in an Increasingly Scary World

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to overcome fear and motivate yourself to be fulfilled in an increasingly scary world

The crumbling of this world lately is heavy on my heart.

I know society has always been this horrible. Killing people for stupid reasons – things that don’t matter. It’s so easy to be hateful.

Now these horrors are more close to home, impossible to ignore – though we continue to be distracted in order to cope, to pretend that we are safe, that we are immortal, that time for our physical bodies is never-ending.

And then wham! We are dead. We are old, feeble, destitute. We lament our wasted days, the moments we gave to useless garbage. Those are completely irretrievable – they are lost and ancient relics, not worthy of a written history, not worth calling “memories” at all, because they’re hollow – shells containing nothing at all.

I see people as conduits for astonishing beauty and discoveries – but humans on the whole seem to be a despicable species. We really have to fight our abhorrent natures to be luminaries. For some the fight is harder than for others. Some lose the war entirely, and cause more wars themselves.

We start out as beacons of hope, and for so many of us it is thwarted by other people, incidents that cause us to shatter, and the heaviness of everything going on in the world. These things drain us, jade us, and often turn us into dust.

Our lives are so fragile and easy to destroy.

Do we want an inner fire that is just an ember, so simple to smother? Or a wildfire impossible to put out?

If our bodies are killed, will we live on? Will everything inside us that was never released be lost forever? Or will we die EMPTY, having purged ourselves of all the ideas and art and music and beauty and goodness that we contain?

It is never-ending, of course. We can’t stop creating. We can’t stop loving, or doing – unless we are detached and inhuman. Too many of us are husks of our real selves – too many of us ignore those flames. We extinguish them with bullshit, with garbage, with chemicals that make life seem like a chore instead of a journey to our greater selves and the heights we can reach if we take each step of the climb to get there.

It is more important than ever to do what we have always dreamed of.

The reason we are so scared of death, particularly of premature death, is that we will not have the experiences we’ve always wanted, or to create what we’ve kept inside of us for so long. We fear that it’s too late. We fear someone else will take it away from us.

Most of us deny it to OURSELVES. Most of us are killing ourselves slowly, yet we fear someone else doing it to us – it’s happening to almost everyone, all the time. We kill ourselves with “food”, drugs, horrible soul-crushing jobs, alcohol, awful relationships, and every other thing that does not give us true fulfillment.

It is more important than ever to release what we having burning inside us – those things that scorch our souls every day, that we are scared to let out, that we fear will be judged, that we are terrified will fall flat.

The only thing that can be happen if we don’t let it all loose, is that we just exist and not much more.

The body is able to be killed, but the essence of who we are cannot be. The only way we can express ourselves in this universe, as who we are, is through the body we inhabit. This is our chance to do everything we dream of. Other than procreating, that is what a physical body is FOR.

We are not experiencing LIFE as we could be, not experiencing the natural world, the WILD, the essence of being AWAKE and AWARE of the intoxicating elixir of the universe.

Many people will see it through using medicinal plants, but astonishment and wonder are always there, and we can grasp them at any time if we pay attention. We need to listen to the calling of the heart that resides in our GUTS. It is always talking to us.

We need to stop silencing it, weighing it down, distracting it, poisoning it. It needs to be HEARD.


The inferno within needs to burn and take over our lives. Our world needs visionaries with torrid passion to lead us to our own paths. We need contributions of mad desire, of dedicated obsession, of star-bright wonderment. This path is available to all, at any time – we just have to discover the way. There are no maps. The only guide we have is our own imagination.

It is more important than ever that we do it NOW, because some lunatic could just kill us at any time – a person who chose the wrong fork in the road – someone who never really got to be who they were truly destined to be – that denial of their possible greatness led them to nefarious choices. They could shoot us in the face while we sign autographs. Slaughter us while we dance at a nightclub. Murder us while we are in our car. Mow us down while we celebrate life with others. It’s impossible to know.

Unless you live through an ordeal where you almost lose your life, you may never stop taking life for granted.

Should we wait for these moments? Most people don’t have near-death experiences. Most people are already near death without even realizing it. Sitting in their chairs staring at screens, mindless, scarfing down cupcakes and pizza, slogging through cubicle jobs and corporate drudgery.

And for what?

To drown out the deep soul-calling to be what they are capable of.

Being an example of human possibility is not an easy task to take on. It takes strength and courage and love. Most of us don’t believe we have that in us.


The time is NOW. THIS SECOND. More than ever we are at risk – but remember – most people are dying slowly every single day of their own terror – the internal terrorism of their own minds.

We need to fight that internal war more than ever. We need to conquer ourselves.

The more of us that finally listen and follow this call, the more the world will heal, the better it will be, and maybe we can finally deem human beings a species worth calling magnificent.


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What Would it Be Like to Be as Awesome as Possible?

When you think of a spectacular human being, what attributes do they have? What do you envy them for? What traits of theirs do you covet?

You can be like them, you know.

It’s completely and utterly possible in every conceivable way.

People aren’t just BORN great – those talents and desirable qualities are cultivated over time and nurtured by those around us.

If we want to become the best possible versions of ourselves, we never will if we are constantly around people who bring us down, who make fun of us, tempt us to be lazy, convince us that it’s a waste of time, that we can’t do something, or that anything is impossible.

It’s not impossible, you know. We just BELIEVE it is, and we can switch our beliefs ANY time we want. It’s a DECISION.

Most of the time, we wait until there are disastrous circumstances in order to really go for something we never thought we could do – because that is when we realize life is fucking precious, and that we are limited in time and we better really go for it if we don’t want to have remorse as we die – if we even know we’re going to die.

We never know when it’s going to happen. It could happen to you later today. In the next few minutes. Have you told people you love them? Have you been kind? Have you done things today that you LOVE? Your very favourite things of all time?

If not, WHY? We all need to do what we adore, so we can feel what it means to be truly alive.

What would it be like if you were as awesome as you could possibly be? What if we all were? What sort of WORLD would this be if we ALL believed in ourselves and took it upon ourselves to lift each other up to be fucking extraordinary?

We all have it in us – the ONLY thing stopping us is the belief in ourselves.

We have the choice to step up and bring goodness, light, beauty, amazement, love, and trust into this world. We have the opportunity to bring hope, to help others, and to rise up. We have a chance to blow peoples’ minds. To inspire. To give. To LEARN and then teach.

Who will step up and realize how fucking amazing they really are? Will you?

We need everyone possibly to realize it in themselves, and NO doubt, you DO have it in you.

Be that blinking light in the distance, for the good of yourself and everyone else, and then burn the path to greatness so we can ALL benefit from your shine in the dark.


Recommended Reading:

Wildling Manifesto


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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Come Alive After You’ve Been Dying

Photo of me by Aiko Yoshida

The answers to my previous post, How to Know If You’re Dying, are infinite. My answers may not be your answers, but I can tell you what works for me, and what I know can at least guide you in the right direction.

If you always feeling like a sinking ship, you must become buoyant.

How do you fill up so you can surface? First, you have to become empty. Free yourself – meditate, get still. Be calm, remove all distractions, sit in silence, in nature. Do this for hours if necessary. Have your pen and notebook. Write down insights. Do this as many times as possible until you have clarity. Actually DO this. Now.

There is no timeline on this – it could be instant, it could take years, but get clear, as otherwise you will just continue as you are. If you’re dying, that’s not a place to loiter.

Removing ALL distractions is necessary. Endless inspiration is detrimental sometimes, because we focus on being inspired instead of actually DOING something. It gives us a jolt of adrenaline, a glimpse of hope, but without any action, it will fade from your memory pretty quickly, leaving you yearning for the next hit. Inspiration is fantastic, and I love it, but there needs to be movement afterwards.

Take inspiration from this and DO something that will propel you forward, even if it’s just an inch! Turn off this computer, look away from your phone. Take the paper and ink and go, be quiet. Feel what you already know, deeply.

You already know what you need to do. You are scared. You don’t need to be.

What is your alternative? You would not be here if you were not dead inside, at least somewhat. You would not be here if you were not looking for guidance.

So I am guiding you – to look within, to the depths, where your sparks glow, like seeds in the dark, waiting to bloom, waiting for water, waiting for fire to bring them to life.

So how do you do this? How do you come alive when everything has been buried so deep?

Seeds buried too deeply never blossom. They rot, they whither, they die. They vanish.

You need to replant those forgotten seeds. You need to put them near the SURFACE, and tend to them DAILY.

At first, your dream garden will need cautious, tender care. Not too much, but just enough – and when they sprout, and start to grow, prepare for wildness – but they need the right conditions. They need to be nourished. They need to be tended, and they need to be shared. Once wild, they flourish, and they continue to grow and spread and take over with no help from you – they show up like dandelions in the sidewalk, where you wouldn’t expect life to succeed, because those roots are deep, and powerful.

When you garden literally, you do it to be surrounded by beauty, or to have nourishment to feed your body. It is the same when you care for your garden of desires.

1. Identify your passion

If you have too many dreams, get clear – which are the ones you ALWAYS feel nagged by? Which is the thing you always say first when someone asks you your interests? What has been the mainstay since you were small, or what is the thing that scares you the most, but that you most wish you could accomplish? That’s the one. The one you must do.

2. Write steps. Small steps.

What is that ultimate dream of yours? Pretend you are that. And then write the step down from it. And the step down from that. And so on, until you get very, very small. Once it’s so small it seems ridiculous – take that first small step, and go back up.

3. Do this every single day, in any free moment you have. Maybe you are swamped with other obligations, or you are exhausted – you make room. You find that shred of energy. You say fuck you to resistance. The moments you usually spend mindlessly are the moments you will take to make small steps. Even if it’s just to put a notebook in your bag, write out an idea, do some push-ups, register a domain name, or take a look at guitars in the store and inquire about payment plans.

4. Nourish yourself properly.

Get enough rest. You will not fully feel alive unless your body is cared for first.

5. Ask yourself what the alternative is.

Write out your Plan Z, and then make your dream your Plan A. No in-betweens. Fuck everything else.

6. Always make yourself the first priority.

Instead of working for someone else as soon as you awaken, do work for yourself. Love yourself, do your own thing, always first, so you can be more present, and feel as if you are making some momentum. Morning ritual is so important, and new to me, and I can’t even believe I’ve gone so far without it – and how far will I go now?

If you are depressed or feeling dead, you are not aligned with what you are here to do. We need your passion. It doesn’t matter how many people are already doing it. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never done it before. It doesn’t matter if you’re 12 years old or 95. It only matters that you start honouring yourself and what you love, because why the hell else are you alive? The word ALIVE is not describing you – make it so everyone uses that as your adjective. It is now your description. How would that feel for you? To take on that meaning for yourself?

So are you going to stay dead, or be infused with life? Get moving, or stay in your coffin, where you will stay until the day you actually die for real.

You have so much time to be dead. BE ALIVE, NOW.

Are you Living, or Existing?

What does life mean?

The first definition:

The condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

Are you continually changing for the better? Are you functionally active? Do you grow? Or does your life mimic inorganic matter – are you sedentary and bored, regressing and wasting your breath and body until you no longer exist?

Do you want to just exist?

2nd definition: Living things and their activity.

Key word is activity. What are you doing? What does active mean? Engaging or ready to engage in physically energetic pursuits.

Are you physically energetic, or do you mostly sit on your butt, or mindlessly flit your time away by staring at screens, making no goals, and just accepting what “life” is “giving” you? Get creative and claim ownership of what is happening in your life. You’re the one who made it happen (I am not talking about extreme circumstances, so don’t come after me about that!)

3rd definition: Vitality, vigor, or energy.

Does this sound like you? Have you got these traits? Or are you sort of the opposite? Yeah? Most seem to be….

What does it mean to exist? Live, especially under adverse conditions.

Adverse conditions! Almost everyone is in an adverse condition of some sort. Shitty health, debt, crappy relationship, bunk job. Life can still flourish in adversity, but to me this is called SURVIVAL. There are ways OUT. Existing is accepting your adverse conditions and staying a stagnant state. This will slowly kill you.

So are you LIVING, or EXISTING?

One of the definitions for death is “a damaging or destructive state of affairs.”

So you can be dead while existing. That isn’t life. Are you really ALIVE?

What is ALIVE, anyway? Other than the most basic definition, it also means “alert and active; animated.”

Does this sound like you, or the opposite? What sort of LIFE do you want?

People like to spend time doing mundane shit: drinking, partying, indulging, video games, TV, gorging. People will try and tempt you to use substances to change your mood, charisma, energy levels, and ability to socialize. They’ll glorify damaging, distracting pastimes and say: “You gotta live a little.”

No thanks. I want to live a LOT.

I want to be ALIVE: Active and animated!
I want to LIVE: grow, change, and actively engage myself. I want vigor, vitality, and energy.

And I want to LIVE for as long as I EXIST.

Does that not sound like a fantastic alternative to merely just breathing and sort of just…being here? Because you can have it. Stop being comfortable. Push yourself past your comfort zones. Ignore what you believe to be limits, they don’t exist on the level that you think they do.

“There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” – Bruce Lee

“The voyage was teaching me how unexceptional I was and how exceptional the human mind and body is. What wonders the human mind and body are capable of achieving! How so few know how much we can do! Our limits are merely mirages on the far side of the lake – we can see them ahead, but that’s all they are: mirages. Our real limits are beyond the scope of our vision, beyond the horizon, a boundary worthy of exploration.” – Walden on Wheels by Ken Ilgunas.

Doing Everything You Want to Do

How great would it be to be able to say when you die, “I did everything I wanted to do!”?

This is the statement you will want to make when  you’re dying. Not: “Did I make enough money?” or “Was I skinny enough?” or “Did I work hard enough?” or “Did I watch enough TV, browse enough on Tumblr, and play enough World of Warcraft??”

No. You’re going to wish you did all the shit you REALLY wanted to do. The stuff your soul wanted you to do. The stuff you resisted because it was too hard, too much effort, too scary, too uncomfortable, too “unrealistic,” and not an easy, guaranteed success.

If you talk to elderly people, so many of them have deep regrets. They regret not eating better, being more active, spending time with loved ones, not going after their dreams, working too hard, and on and on.

Don’t be one of those people. Do things, even if you suck. You will get better. I do stuff I suck at ALL the time. And I get frustrated! But I keep going, because I know with enough time and effort, I will improve. So will you.

I don’t care how old you are, how sick you are, or where you live, what your gender is – you can do whatever you want – but only if you BELIEVE  you can. Don’t squander your time with bullshit. It’s just BULLSHIT.

If you believe you can’t do something, you are right. You won’t even try. That is the difference between you and everyone who does the things they want to do. The difference is passion, consistent action, and belief in one’s self. That is it.

If your true passions are video games and TV, fine. Delve into them beneath the surface level. Make sure they are TRUE passions, and not just stuff you do cuz they’re “fun” or a way to entertain yourself mindlessly. If you have deeper dreams and goals, don’t ignore them. Don’t mask them with pointless junk. Don’t distract yourself.

I feel like I repeat myself a lot on this blog, but you know what? This sort of thing NEEDS repeating, because people WASTE THEIR FUCKING LIVES, ALL THE TIME.

It’s sad. I hate seeing it. I want to push you. I want to inspire you. I want to set fire to your soul. I want to see you create and experience the beautiful things that can exist in your life.

You are going to die, and it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you – because once you realize this fact, you may just do the most you can with your LIFE.

The Last Day of My Life

Last night I had awful cramps for the first time in months. I took ibuprofen, smoked weed (rare), and this made my brain whorl. I laid there trying to ignore the pain in my legs and stomach and then wondered: What if the painkiller and the weed and the Traumeel (taken for an injured wrist) all mix together and for some reason I die in my sleep?

Would I have been satisfied with my last day on earth? I mentally went through my day and realized the answer was yes.

+ I was with my sweetheart.
+ We made love.
+ We were in nature most of the day, swimming in the river in the forest with our friend.
+ I plunged into the river off the rocks.
+ There was a gorgeous harlequin Great Dane there with the same name as my old dog (Lulu).
+ I talked to my mom.
+ I looked at gorgeous photos.
+ The work I did in the evening is work I consider worthwhile and important.
+ I ate yummy fruit and had raw chocolate.
+ I picked blackberries with my boyfriend’s kids.
+ It was sunny and a perfect temperature.
+ I texted with my best friend.
+ I got lots of sleep.
+ I got to spin some ninja weapons.
+ Nothing was rushed, we slept in, life was warm and sweet.

Of course there were other aspects that would have made the day “perfect.”

If that had been my last day alive, would I have regrets? No.  I want to fall asleep every night thinking that. Without expectations of perfection, we should at least be satisfied with all of our days.

Make sure you’re doing work you love, spending time with people you adore, eating things that you love but that also nourish and energize you, that you are exuding love, that you are enjoying the natural world, and that despite any setbacks, you are focusing on the positive things, because they are always there.

Recommended Reading:

Igniting Your Life: Pathways to the Zenith of Health and Success
A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last

Why Death is Awesome

I have been struggling lately, and you know what? I still refuse to compromise my life.

Everything I read and all the signs I see around me on a daily basis SCREAM at me: do not waste your life. Do not waste your time on anything that does not BETTER your life.

I do feel like I may need to compromise some of the things I do or consume. Perhaps removing those things from my life will make room for MORE and BETTER things. You never know.

Sometimes you also have to decide between one thing and another. Which is more important? Do I need fancy raw foods all the time, just because they bring me pleasure? Cuz the debt involved (right now) is not worth the misery. Can I eat something more simple? Or even…COOKED? Can I replace my more amazing diet with rice and potatoes and bananas? Because I might have a more stellar life, even if I have to compromise “perfect” health for a little while – not permanently. Which do I choose? Or do I stay raw and eat less? That is what I am doing at the moment, and so far it’s not so bad.

I read a WONDERFUL section in Caitlin Moran’s book How to Be a Woman today, and I agreed with it whole-heartedly. I burst into a massive grin when I read it. Because I am scared of death. I want to live forever. I want to do so much. I have an ankh tattooed on my arm to remind me that I am NOT immortal and I need to remember this at ALL TIMES and not waste any time. Not one second. I’ve done enough of that already. With all the time I’ve wasted I could have done a FUCK of a lot, man!

“The real problem here is that we’re all dying. All of us. Every day the cells weaken and the fibers stretch and the heart gets closer to its last beat. The real cost of living is dying, and we’re spending days like millionaires: a week here, a month there, casually spunked until all you have left are the two pennies on your eyes.

Personally, I like the fact that we’re going to die. There’s nothing more exhilarating than waking up every morning and going, “WOW! THIS IS IT! THIS IS REALLY IT!” It focuses the mind wonderfully. It makes you love vividly, work intensely, and realize that, in the scheme of things, you really don’t have time to sit on the sofa in your undies watching Homes Under the Hammer.

Death is not a release, but an incentive. The more focused you are on your death, the more righteously you live your life. My traditional closing-time rant / is that humans still believe in an afterlife. I genuinely think it’s the biggest philosophical problem the earth faces. Even avowedly nonreligious people think they’ll be meeting up with Nana and their dead dog, Crackers, when they finally keel over. Everyone thinks they’re getting a harp.

But believing in an afterlife totally negates your current existence. It’s like an insidious and destabilizing mental illness. Underneath every day – every action, every word – you think it doesn’t really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise. You make it up with your parents and become a better person and lose that final 14 pounds in heaven. And learn how to speak French. You’ll have time, after all! It’s eternity! And you’ll have wings, and it’ll be sunny! So, really, who cares what you do now? This is really just some lackluster waiting room you’re going to be in for only 20 minutes, during which you will have no wings at all and are forced to walk around, on your feet, like pigs do.

If we wonder why people are so apathetic and casual about every eminently avoidable horror in the world – famine, war, disease, the seas gradually turning piss-yellow and filling with ring-pulls and shattered fax machines – it’s right there. Heaven. The biggest waste of time we ever invented, outside of jigsaws.

Only when the majority of the people on this planet believe – absolutely – that they are dying, minute by minute, will we actually start behaving like fully sentient, rational, and compassionate beings. For while the appeal of “being good” is strong, the terror of hurtling, unstoppably, into unending nullity is a lot more effective. I’m really holding out for us all to get the Fear. The Fear is my Second Coming. When everyone in the world admits they’re going to die, we’ll really start getting some stuff done.”

I have done quite a lot, but still – the magnitude could be much greater. Hell, I have a friend who has made like 60+ albums of good  music. That’s crazy! He is pretty awesome, and DEDICATED. And only 40!

How are you gonna be prolific? How am I? I think about it a lot – but thinking is not enough. Action is what makes everything happen. EVERYTHING.

Stop wasting your time on bullshit. You don’t need to know celebrity gossip or play Angry Birds. You are gonna be pissed at yourself when you’re old. I’ve been to nursing homes recently, taking library books to old people. It reinforces my dedication to health and not wasting my time. I doubt those people are wishing they’d watched more TV or eaten more pizza. I bet they do wish they’d traveled more and loved harder and hiked more and done everything they could when they were stronger and more able-bodied. It baffles me that people take such shitty care of themselves. You can still be healthy and be poor – I have a back-up plan, do you? It involves bananas, rice, potatoes, wild greens, and beans. You can be damn healthy just on that, for real, with a few extras. And it can still be organic.

START FOCUSING ON DYING. Because then you will be fucking freaked out at what you do minute to minute. Don’t ever spend your life doing something you absolutely hate. Have back-up plans for everything. Have a plan B, C, D…and all the way to Z. I wrote my Plan Z and it’s actually kind of awesome. I am currently in plan B or C at the moment. I have these plans precisely because I will not compromise my life. I consider EVERY ASPECT. It’s not hard. Just OPEN your mind and listen to your GUT.

Another gem I read in this Caitlin Moran book is “I also know panic attacks, and I know they lie.You need to know the difference between fear, panic, and actual intuition.

My intuition says: “You have MUCH more important work to do than being a barista or a maid. Your delicious and healthy diet is not worth wasting your precious life working huge chunks of your days on. You can still be VERY healthy in the meantime, on cheaper foods, and when you make your millions (cuz I am worth millions – that’s my mantra!) you can eat whatever you want and still have lots left over to travel and rescue dogs and take motorcycle lessons.”

So. Scared of  dying? You should be, but only if you’re basically dead right now. LIVE, GODDAMNIT. Now stop reading the internet and go do shit that is important to you. Not urgent. IMPORTANT.

The Importance of Obsession

I think that to get the most out of life you have to be obsessed with what you love.

Otherwise you just dip your feet in, get them damp, then dry off – boring. Fucking dive in, man. Get soaked. Be completely drenched. Immerse yourself until you are absolutely covered, annihilated by your dreams. Let them overtake you.

Do you notice that the people you admire are the ones who obsess over what they do? It’s never the people who sort of have a dalliance with something they kinda like – those people tend to be mocked. The really admirable ones are the ones who obsess, who swallow their passion whole, without teeth, but who will bite down on something as soon as it appears so it won’t escape.

They will stay up for days, not eat, and will sustain themselves purely on what they love. They will ignore all else. They will live off scraps so they have all time to themselves.

They give up the less important things. They only hang out with people who support them. The ones who don’t, get spat upon or laughed at, or simply brushed off. Whatever, you say, my life, my love, is most important – otherwise what am I here for?!

You may live for something completely different than everyone else, but you have a passion, a talent – even if it’s for something you think is not “important” – just know what it is you love, and what it is you obsess over – and let it take over your brain.

For me, if i have something i love, it’s all i focus on. It could be a person, a book, a drawing, a project – and the things that get forgotten about are things that fall aside, to make room for the important fascinations – the ones that always return, even if i take a break – the ink drawings, the delectable words of books, the luscious fruits, the crashing waves, the prose and memoirs, the dogs with their wiggling butts. They are all my heart-thumping obsessions.

Sometimes, like anyone, i forget them – either I am so tired I zombify, or I am deadened by winter. I start to think nothing matters. But when I constantly barrage myself with inspiration, at all times, I then recall my former passion.

When you are forgetful, this is when it is most important to obsess. When you are depressed, this is when it is most important to treat yourself with the utmost care.

When you really want to do something, and it’s not natural to you, you MUST obsess or you will not make it natural – things become fluid and easy when you just throw yourself in, all or nothing. Breathe it, inhale it, suffocate in it. It will become as ingrained as a cavity. It may fade, and if it does, just push yourself off that cliff again and save yourself with immersion.

Pursuing your passions is part of this – to deny yourself your lifeblood, your brain candy, is like telling the universe to fuck off.

I realized last night that all religions are based on the fear of death – none of us want to die, and so we focus (if that person has a religion) on how to live “properly” so that we can have a nice afterlife, because we don’t want to die. We’re all terrified of it. In order to transcend death, leave your legacy behind – do something with the life you have – even if you transcend death, you will no longer have a physical body to enjoy earthly pleasures. Even if you reincarnate, you will be a different being with a different experience.

And so, who you are now – you must express that. You are only YOU, once. In THIS body, once.

Obsess, create, love, in only the way YOU can, right now, this lifetime.

How to Know You Love Life

– You want to record everything in words and pictures, endlessly
– you scream lovingly when you see your friends
– you dance whenever there is a moment to do so
– you immerse yourself deeply into all written words
– you get sad that there is not enough time to read everything
– you wish for immortality
– you give copious amounts of kisses to whoever you deem worthy
– you dress with zest
– no moments of your days are wasted, even the restful ones are purposeful
– dying doesn’t seem like an option
– you eat the foods that sustain your vitality, the ones with life still in them
– you think for yourself and eschew most media
– every moment is an opportunity for creative expression
– you never emulate, you just extract inspiration
– the library is your second home
– people cannot keep up with you
– your brain is firing all synapses
– sex is a jungle of limbs and hair, fire and lips

– trees are meant for climbing, snow is meant for sliding, rain is meant for showering, caves are meant for kissing, forests are made for running, art is meant for devouring, fruit is meant for inhaling, breath is made for laughing, animals are meant for hugging, sun is meant for frolicking, youth is meant for deviancy, elder years are meant for rebellion, school is meant for revolution, travel is meant for drinking in all aspects of living

– you stand proud and rock your body, whatever your size
– you’re an artist
– you run into the ocean whenever you can
– you only eat plants because you respect that animals want to live, too
– you worship yourself instead of a deity
– you engage all your senses at all times
– sleep is a sacred activity
– you prefer experiences to material things
– your thoughts stay positive, despite negative influences
– love is your purpose for living
– you get intoxicated by flowers
– you get high on the scent of the woods
– you say yes way more often than no
– you say no when it feels right
– you don’t put up with anyone’s bullshit
– you show your loved ones you cherish them
– you’re grateful for everything you have
– you choose the high dive

– you run instead of walk, you fight instead of run, you love instead of fight

– seeing music live makes you swoon
– you have parties on rooftops
– wasting time is a criminal offense
– nothing can stop you
– skinny dipping is mandatory
– people call you brash, brazen, wild, zany, fabulous, a dynamo
– your hair is always blowing in the wind
– every moment presents itself as a lesson or a gift
– failure is a myth, there are only set-backs
– you scoff at death
– sharing your life with animals is an honor
– giving birth is the most powerful thing you can do
– your money goes towards experiences and traipsing the globe
– customs people know you by name

– you always choose “dare”

– swimming pools are always open, despite fences
– your symbol is an ankh
– you tell people you love that you love them, constantly
– you can freestyle compliments with great flow and emotion
– your vocabulary is vast and rampant
– people are enraptured with your stories
– you’re constantly told to write a book
– you swim in fountains
– you dance on tables
– you sleep during class because you’ve been too busy living
– you bounce energy back and forth with everyone
– all of your friends are just as playful as you are, because that’s who you attract to yourself
– you don’t give a shit how you look when you dance
– you always chase “first times”
– you have car picnics in the winter
– the beauty everywhere makes your heart palpitate
– grand vistas give you exploding heart syndrome
– you imagine a soundtrack playing at all times because your life would make an epic movie
– you are fascinated by everything
– boredom is a foreign concept
– you have a cause you vigilantly fight for
– you are a fidget because you have pent up energy
– you have to be utterly exhausted in order to sleep (but you usually are exhausted because you never stop moving)
– motorcycles are preferable to bicycles, but bicycles are preferable to cars (unless those cars are convertibles and going awesomely fast).
– people know you’re a supernova with one glace
– you feel like a teenager even if you’re in menopause
– you love being with people, but you adore time on your own just as much, if not more
– you transcend death


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The Desire for Immortality

It’s exhausting and frustrating being interested in (almost) everything.

But I can’t stop.

I wear an ankh necklace for a reason. And I actually want one tattooed on my wrist. As a reminder that I am NOT immortal, and that my time is finite and I need to make the most of every damn minute I have. I don’t really  have time for a “regular” job (but I do try to make the most of my time when I am there, plus I am surrounded by lovely people and masses of knowledge).

So much to do. I know I post about it often, but I really do not understand how anyone can be bored. There is so much to do, see, revel in, taste, smell, drink in, love up, dance upon, swirl in, dive into, fondle, make love to, swim through, feast your eyes on, share with lovers, read, imagine, create.

I get so immersed in things. I read all I can. I want to take part in so many things yet much of what I love doing requires solitude. I don’t go out much anymore and this is going to change. I gotta get out there again and experience real life. Winter is so great for nesting with books and whatnot, but when spring hits I feel renewed and more social. Is it time for me to get amongst my old friends? It’s been about three years that I have been in this modality – I have phases of solitude and massive social behaviour that last a few years at a time.

If I could be immortal, I would be. So many people think it would be a horrid thing. Not me. I want to live as long as possible which is part of my reason for living and eating how I do. Even if our lifespans are getting longer, what is the quality of life for most people living to be really old? Probably not that fantastic. I would rather live a completely badass life and live fewer years than until 120 stuck in a nursing home.

First sign of immortality potion, sign me up.

What are some things I would do if I could live forever?

(I know I can do most of these things anyway)

+ Well first of all, I would write a fuckload of books. Books are my saviour and lifeline and blood and guts.

+ I would want to make films.

+ I’d ride a motorcycle around the world. I’d row across oceans.

+ I’d have a whipsmart band and spew lyrics like a banshee.

+ I would generate the most gorgeous photos I could concoct in my head.

+ I would grow fantastical gardens that take over whole cities.

+ I ‘d have a Pied Piper entourage of dogs.

+ I would have a brood of amazing children who make the world a better place.

+ I’d be the most epic surfer.

+ I’d build a treehouse studio to draw huge beautiful ink portraits.

+ I’d amass a harem of lovers.

+ I would heal as many people and animals as possible.

+ I’d read every beautiful phrase ever written.

+ I’d travel to every country and soak in its luminous qualities.

+ So many countless things I would do. So much I could learn.

Our brains are so endless. We use, what, 10%? I want to fill it up – and I know that is beautifully  impossible. And so I could do it forever, filling and filling until I burst – and that would be my moment of death.

Back to the stars. Back to the ocean. Back to the earth. I am already a part of those things, but having a body and having a mind is the most gorgeous gift of all. Don’t take it for granted.

Live it up.