How to Feel Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School writes about how to feel alive, how to really live, poetry about life, naomi campbell with a cheetah running in the wind

Only certain things make me feel completely alive.

I don’t want to feel alive only some of the time.

I need a vigor and a lust to feel free, or when the day ends I feel like my minutes and seconds have been wasted on the minutiae of life, the things that really do not matter.

Where is the lasciviousness, the wonder? Where is the amazement and glory and heart-racing buzz that comes with a life fully lived?

I only feel alive when I’m adventurous
When I am fully immersed in the moment
I feel alive only when I am interacting with the real
When I am writing in full speed
When it flows like potions
When it just screams out and I can’t contain it
I can’t help but dance
because there is only motion
I can’t help but run
because there is only wind
I can’t help but kiss and squeal and swoon
because there is only desire

Every morsel tastes like orgasms
Every touch feels like the universe is coursing through my blood
Every movement feels like I’m a warrior
Every breath feels like fresh forest streams

Sex feels like I’m in another dimension
Love feels like the only thing that exists
Nature feels like the only real home
Sleep feels like a teacher
Waking feels like rebirth
So it can all begin again
Where life can seep through the pores
Into the viscous fluid of the veins

Passion is the true blood in the body
We so seldom let it flow
My blood will be replaced with the universal elixir…

It’s called LIVING.

~~~

Recommended Reading:

Why You are Wild.
Wildling Manifesto.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

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How to Simplify Your Morning Routine

I spent the last month starting each morning with 3 hours of self-care, and while I felt super fantastic doing so, it took up a LOT of time. However, doing it allowed me to see what is really instrumental in making my day great, and what can either wait until later in the day, or doesn’t need to be done daily at all.

This can be a really good way to figure out what is essential to your well-being and what is instrumental in moving your FORWARD in life instead of keeping you stagnant.

You can see my detailed 3 hour self-care list here, but now my basic routine will be:

1. Hydration – still 32 oz of lemon blended with water, and CALM magnesium.
2. Morning Pages – I used to do this first, but found I kept complaining about being thirsty. This can also include my daily gratitude list or The Work, if I need it.
3. Meditation – to get calm and focused for the day.
4. Going over goals – I can start with a couple minutes of looking at inspiring quotes, but it’s not entirely necessary. What’s necessary is reminding myself what is important in my life, and taking ACTION on those things.
5. Green smoothie.
6. ACTION on my most important goals. Work.

The rest of my list can be dispersed throughout the day. Movement is super important but doesn’t need to be very first thing in the morning – sometimes it will be, and sometimes not, it just depends, but the earlier the better, really, and in NATURE, so the two can be combined, even better if barefoot and connecting with the earth.

What is absolutely most important is that I am hydrated, well-nourished, and working on things that are important to me. NOT indulging in what others are doing.

It should be the same for all of us, but the majority get up and look at their phone immediately – Facebook, or email, whatever – putting the needs of other people (often whom we don’t even know) before our own. Putting ourselves first is not selfish – it allows us to be FULL and then be able to give. We can’t be at our best unless we are full of what we most need.

Simplifying it down to our VERY basics is imperative. What is essential for you to feel your very best? Do those things RIGHT AWAY when you get up for the day. If you hate getting up, then go to bed early – if you start your day hating the thought of even getting out of bed, it’s not a good omen. Good sleep is absolutely essential or life will be sludge. Who wants that?

Another thing is to eliminate what is NOT essential. Stop looking at your phone, your email, your Facebook feed – who CARES what other people are eating, or whining about? Focus on YOU. What do YOU want? Are you DOING those things? Or are you being distracted by things you won’t even think about again in 5 seconds?

Pare down everything. You don’t have to give up social media, but cut out everything that is keeping you from LIVING. I get it – some things are super inspiring – keep those, but get rid of anything that brings you down, doesn’t add to your life in some way, or is just something you’re doing to KILL TIME (which is the ONLY thing we have! Why are you wasting it, or killing it? You don’t get an infinite amount!)

It sounds so easy and simple, and it is, but the simplest step is usually the one NO one takes – WRITING IT DOWN.

If you can’t write out a plan, you’re doomed.

Everyone can afford to do this. You can’t afford NOT to.

You need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Put your plan out where you can see it all the time and look at it EVERY day when you get up, and every night before you go to sleep. EASY. FREE.

Doing this, and then following what you write down with action, is one of the best things you will ever do, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. Even if you’re the busiest person in the world, you can add to it and refine it in the few moments you have throughout the day. And guess what? If you’re that busy you need to do it even MORE, because I bet you ANYTHING that a lot of what is keeping you so busy is not even necessary and not adding to your life in any capacity, and it’s keeping you in an unmoving, bland state, where you think you are stuck forever.

You’re not. Simplicity is the key to everything. Essentialism. Adapt this, and watch your whole life shift.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

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Why You’re Scared of Success More than Failure

Most people are so scared to fail that they don’t even begin.

In our hearts we know that failure is required in the journey of learning. Failures do not mean an END – they are bumps on the way to KNOWING.

So what really stops us?

I have been wondering lately what this sudden anxiety I have is saying to me. It’s not a fear of failure, no…it feels different.

When we continue on in spite of fear, and with tenacity, we can’t fail in the long run. So what is it, then?

It’s a success fear.

Success that we see in the media seems so luxurious and alluring, full of money and fame and everything we could ever want – but it also has a hidden side. We know that success is rife with things we are not used to, and that means changing ourselves.

More work, more demands, more responsibilities, more discipline, more confidence, more criticism, more people wanting things from us, possibly using us, possibly fucking us over, and on and on.

Success means being VULNERABLE – much more so than failing.

Failing (and not continuing forward) is EASY to deal with. We can numb it out with food, TV, Facebook, weed, whatever our drug of choice is. We can give up and identify as victims. Poor us.

With success, we can’t do that. There are essential aspects that go with it that we cannot ignore. We can’t numb them, and that’s scary.

Identifying as a failure is simple, easy, and lazy. It requires no movement. It is a stagnant place to be. People wonder why they are depressed and anxious, but it’s because they aren’t in line with their heart’s desires, and it means they’re not taking any action (or they’ve tried and given up).

The fear of success holds us back. It makes us responsible for our own happiness, it means we are not able to identify as victims anymore. Our identities are shattered. We have to start again.

But isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t starting over a gift? You can unearth that version of you that’s been buried for so long underneath the crap and angst.

I’ll tell you now that the best thing I’ve ever discovered is that I have complete and utter power over my own self. My health, my attitude, and my circumstances are completely up to me, no matter what may happen – how I choose to overcome, and how to move forward, despite ANY possible set-backs, no matter how grim, no matter how horrible – that is up to me.

Life occurrences are not up to me. Shit happens. It is all in how we decide to conquer that matters. That is success.

So are you going to drop the victim identity now? Are you going to drop the fear? Are you going to step forward into your new possibility, and CREATE your life the way it could be?

It is not without anxiety – it’s just a different sort. It’s an excitement, a hope, and a wonder. It’s a tightness in the belly, instead of the dark space in the mind where the anxiety of doing nothing lurks.

Succeeding at anything you could imagine is the anxiety you WANT. Moving through THAT is the thing that builds strength. That is what builds confidence. That is what makes things HAPPEN.

Staying a victim, identifying as a failure, and numbing yourself day-in and day-out is easy. It’s fine if you choose that, but when you are nearing the end of your life, you’ll wish you had been more adventurous.

Success doesn’t mean money or fame. It means stabbing fear in the gut and moving forward with all the things you have imagined since you were a kid that you’d love to do. It means honouring those feelings, those daydreams, those wishes.

Don’t just wish those things anymore. Start identifying as brave, tenacious, and bold. Claim a new adjective for yourself. Throw out the word victim. Stomp your fear to the ground.

Be the you that you know you are. The one that resides in your soul.

Remember, you only live in your body – your soul is the thing that tells your body and brain what to do. Go deep and LISTEN to it. What is telling your BRAIN what to do? Is it your body? Other people? The media? (What a terrifying idea.)

No – it’s the real you. The one that is ether. The one that has been waiting ALL this time for your body to get up and follow what it really wants. The one you have been drowning out with all the excess stimuli, entertainment, drugs, food, and distractions.

It’s time to listen to THAT part of you – and ignore the rest.

Drop it all, and go.

 ~~~

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

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Undoing


Art by Iain MacArthur

When something rotten happens to you, or you are snared in a net made of manipulation, hatred, or negativity, and you finally escape…who are you?

Are you buried beneath years of neglect, lies, and defeat?

Your life circumstances mold you. Obviously. So, are you really YOU? Or are you hidden under all of the things that have shaped you?

Are you YOU because of the things YOU have done? The things YOU create? The things YOU put out in the world? Or have you been influenced by others for far too long? Have they shaped you more than you have shaped yourself?

It’s really terrifying to realize that other people have a lot to do with what makes us “who we are.” If those things are negative, at least.

Let me give you an example.

When I was a child, I was ultra-sensitive, sweet, passive, and introspective. I am still those things (though I am a lot less passive!). But having those attributes made me an easy target, and I was bullied, a lot. For a long time.

A lot of people have had it WAY worse than I did, but those years still tarnished me. Eventually something in me shifted, and I embraced myself as an oddity and became fierce. This sudden change likely startled people and they finally left me alone. Effective. My brain took note of this without me actually thinking about it much.

Instead of having a middle ground, though, I basically became the opposite of who I’d been before that. Years of cultivating that “bitch” in myself to survive my surroundings really suppressed the sweet, happy girl inside.

Let me add in that I am glad I have some of these more vicious qualities, but it took me a VERY long time to calm back into a mixture of the two; back to how I’d been as a child, yet with the ABILITY to be a banshee. It took me about the same amount of time to restore this light part of me as it did to cultivate the newer, darker part.

Then, as an adult, I was with someone really damaging. It was a slow process, one I didn’t even realize was taking place – their dark vortex sucked me in – eventually I was so deep in that I was gasping to surface, and did some crazy things to bail myself out.

After four years of slow regression, I am only now beginning to surface from the negative influence I was around so much. It’s been a year. I am still working on rebecoming who I resurfaced as before.

So the point of this story is to show you that who you surround yourself with is going to determine so, so much of your life. Do you even KNOW who you are? Who were you as a child? What happened to you? How do you WANT to be?

You can undo the damage caused by others (even if it’s really awful, I think it’s possible). This is also not about “being a victim” as this sort of thing happens to everyone. You really are the culmination of the people you spend the most time with, and how you spend your time – change things. This is YOUR power. You choose who you are around (unless you’re very young, of course), so I implore you – get away, go deep, and really discover who is underneath all that other shit.

Question who you listen to. (Psst: here’s a hint – it should be YOURSELF and you should be LOVING.)

You have a survival instinct for a reason – if you feel badly about yourself it is because you are listening to others, and the voices of your past – not YOURSELF).

A Post About Perceived Beauty

Taken just now.

It’s really easy to focus on something about ourselves, even when it’s TINY, and think “Oh my god, I am HIDEOUS.”

Well, how many times have I done this to myself? “I’m too bloated! I’m not going out dancing, yuck!” or “I have the biggest zit, there is no way I could possibly be attractive to anyone.” “This scar on my face makes me so weird looking when I smile.” And on and on.

One of the biggest examples is from a decade ago, when someone I was enamoured with decided that he wasn’t quite as taken with me – this after spending several days together after a month of intense writing back and forth (we’d met in a different city, he’d come to visit me) – and of course I started to think: it’s because I’m too fat. It’s because I have all these scars.

And this caused me to start throwing up my food – ONLY junk food, of course (as if this made it okay) – luckily this wasn’t making any difference to my weight, I hated it, I hated myself even more, and it only lasted a few weeks.

So fast forward a decade – I am certainly more confident and positive than I was back then! But, I still have my days. For some unknown reason yesterday I developed a cold sore – I’m not sick, not stressed – who knows why? But it was mortifying – to have something so blatantly noticeable can make oneself feel disgusting and embarrassed – and of course, this next few weeks, I am working with the public, not in the back of the store as usual.

At first I was worried, but my coworkers didn’t even notice – they were like, “Huh?” when I asked them if I looked okay.

And for some reason I got this slap in the mouth from myself – to shine through this one tiny percentage of myself – and let all the rest of my outer and inner beauty overtake it – so that no one could POSSIBLY care, if they even noticed, about some stupid little blister.

And that will go for anything else you feel badly about – the people you admire, adore, love – do you EVER focus on their tiny little issues? No – you focus on their gorgeous minds, their creativity, their style, their passion – and even if you do notice their perceived flaws, you will eventually not notice because they are just fucking awesome. Beautiful people are beautiful regardless of their physical appearance.

Your tiny little flaws don’t matter. Just be awesome, be healthy, and throw your light out into the world. THAT will make you feel good. It worked for me today, and it will tomorrow. Just gotta remember this.