How to Get Back on Track So You Can Reach Your Destiny

How to Reach Your Destiny and Get On With LIVING. Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School inspires you how to do so and live a life you love.

 

Humans waste so much bloody time.

We do so many things that are detrimental to our bodies, our spirits, and our hearts.

Is it any wonder that most people feel deflated and lost?

Every single thing we do – we need to be asking the same questions:

  1. WHY am I doing this?
  2. Is this making my life better?
  3. Is this GOING to make my life better, later?
  4. Is this necessary?
  5. If it needs to be done, does it need to be done RIGHT NOW?
  6. Am I doing this consciously, or out of boredom?

That’s really it. These are important to consider for EVERY single thing we do.

And then, we need to know what to replace our distractions with. We need to have a focus, a plan. Without one, we have no map, and most people can’t decipher their own internal compasses.

We need a maps to get us back on our path. Even when we are lost, we will have a map to return to, to set us on the right course we need to be on for our life-long journey.

But those maps don’t already exist. We have to draw them ourselves. We have to write them.

If we don’t have something to refer to, we just drift. The chances that we will make it to our intended destinations are almost non-existent.

So, let us question our every thought, every movement, every second, so we can reach those glittery dream realms that we imagined as children.

They do exist, but they’re impossible to locate unless we have the maps to get us there, and the beliefs that we can reach them.

~~~

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Choosing to Be a Hero, or a Disgrace (a Post About Rape)

I warn you now, this post is rife with bad language, because I’m angry, and confused.

Social media is flooded with articles on the recent rape at Stanford.

The whole thing is repulsive, unbelievable, and clearly raising the hackles of everyone who has a compassionate bone in their body.

Being a rapist, a murderer, a criminal – these are all choices. Why the fuck would someone choose that?

Why would this piece of shit “human being” choose this? Alcohol doesn’t make you a rapist – alcohol tends to make you more of what you already are, like money does. This pathetic person, like all rapists, already has it in them. They are weak, pathetic, useless trolls who need power to feel important or valued.

How come all the drunken people I’ve been around haven’t tried to rape me? Is it because I wasn’t shitfaced? What about when I was? It’s been a rare event in my life, I’ve probably been really drunk only a few times, over a decade ago – and the worst time I was camping with a bunch of guy friends, also drunk. And none of them tried to rape me.

Why? BECAUSE THEY AREN’T RAPISTS.

So, why the hell do rapists choose to rape? They’re clearly taught that it’s fine, by their fathers, or their brothers, or their friends. Or they feel weak and intimidated by women.

But so what? Many men are, and they don’t rape girls. So why the fuck does anyone choose to be a rapist?

Like, why? Do people actually WANT to be rapists? I really am baffled by this. Why wouldn’t someone want to be as fucking awesome as possible, and be a hero?

Seriously! Why would ANYONE choose being a RAPIST over being an amazing, heroic human being? THAT is the way to get respect! THAT is the way to win people over, have love, feel confident, powerful – not the cowardly act of raping someone.  WHY? How does that better your life? By ruining another person’s? Do you really want to RUIN someone’s life? WHY? What does that say about you? Does it improve your fucking life? Does it make you better?

Deep down inside they can’t believe this is true. Deep down they know they are shit. Deep down they know they are worthless.

But who told them they were worthless? Why do they think that? And why do they think rape and murder and assault and whatever other fucking atrocity they commit will make them WORTHY?

What makes a person WORTHY OF RESPECT, POWER, and LOVE is to GIVE respect, power, and love.

You don’t get it by assaulting and raping. You don’t get it by damaging other people in any way.

And to deny it, to flip it around, to blame the women – fuck you. Seriously, fuck anyone who does that. You’re pathetic wastes-of-air.

I have a lot of compassion, but not for people like this. These are CHOICES. You are not mentally ill, you’re a fucking disgrace. You chose to be a rapist. You chose this life.

There are endless other choices – infinite. And you chose rape.

So rot in hell you fucker, I hope that you get what you deserve while you’re put away for a few paltry months, and I hope that this media onslaught of horror really changes the system, because if it doesn’t, how the hell can we call anything justice?

What to Do When You Want to Do Everything

The greatest struggle I know is the struggle of CHOOSING.

When you are a lover of life, and curious, and inspired by everything around you – how on earth do you decide what to do with yourself? It can be easy to just lay back and numb out – this has happened to me so many times in my life. Not from boredom but from too MUCH to choose from. I want to do it all! (well, a LOT).

Humans are not meant to be bombarded with so much stimuli – the fact that we have access to ANYTHING is overwhelming, and also magical. It is such a gift, but also a very palpable obstacle.

So, if you’re constantly changing course, how on earth do you decide what to focus on to MAKE PROGRESS?

How Do You Know You’re Making Good Choices?

1. You obsess – and it is continuous – even if you have breaks in your obsession, it always comes back.
2. You are not doing it as an escape, you are doing it consciously.
3. You are CREATING, not consuming.
4. You can trace your interest back a long way, it ties to your original childhood passions.
5. You can tie some together into one amazing new obsession.

What happens if you still can’t decide?

You must take a break from stimulation, or immerse yourself fully in your VERY FAVOURITE interest, and it ONLY. Take a media break. What did you do with yourself BEFORE the internet? What would you do with your time if you had nothing to distract you? No computer, no tv, no magazines (books are okay as long as they are not trash – you must consciously choose them – and what are you drawn to?)

What happens if you have LOTS of BIG passions and they aren’t just distractions?

Then you have to put them in order of importance and make sure you get in a bit of all of them each week or each month, if you can. WRITE THEM DOWN! Make sure that the first 1-3 take up the majority of your time. For instance, writing is my biggest passion, and so I spend most of my week doing that, either for myself in a journal, online, working on other projects, or for other people. Reading, also, is a BIG love of mine and I make sure I read every day, even if it’s a little bit. Ninjutsu is a new passion (but martial arts have been a huge interest of mine for over a decade) and I spend a few hours a week on that. Surfing is one of my biggest passions but I don’t get a chance to go that often – I need to remedy this!

Health is my other BIG BIG BIG passion, and it is ingrained in my life now. I don’t even need to think about it much (yet I still do)! When I first got interested in raw foods and the raw lifestyle…I OBSESSED. I was so obsessed I knew it was never going to waver. When you feel that sort of thing SUCK you in and take over – then you KNOW you need to focus on it – you know it’s not a short-term thing. So RAVAGE that interest – PLUNGE into it.

So you see what I am saying? I have lots of other huge loves – travel, animals, badass women, photography, survival, graphic novels, music, dancing, costumes, drawing, hula-hooping, hiking, sex, herbalism, burlesque, film, style, nature, motorcycles, road trips, tribal cultures – ALL of these are MASSIVE interests for me – and there are more!

When you have a massive amount of passions, it is really important to delegate time to each, but always to put your BIGGEST loves first. Don’t ignore the others, at all! Find time to do them all, each week, month, or year. Never ignore those loves, but put the ones you are best at, and the ones you NEVER tire of, first.

Highly Recommended reading:
Refuse to Choose! – Barbara Sher

The Renaissance Soul – Margaret Lobenstine

What the Hell To Do With Your Life

I ain’t scared of much.

You know what terrifies me? Wasting my life.

I have already wasted way too much. I have also accomplished a lot of what I’ve wanted to do. But can you imagine (as I try to) what can be accomplished if we do NOT waste our time?

I have been looking at how I spend time a lot differently lately. I do spend a ton of time online, but now I try to make it count.

If I feel tired or lazy, I try to at least learn something. If I want to play a game, I make it educational instead of pointless. No more 80’s Nintendo (back to once a year for me!) – because of this I am now a geography pro. Do you know where Kiribati is? How about Togo? I do.

Why am I bringing this up? Mostly because I am unemployed and flailing. I know what I want to do, BASICALLY, but when you are a “scanner” (as Barbara Sher coined it) you can have so many interests that you absolutely cannot decide what your focus should be.

I have so many interests it can be staggering, and often I don’t know what to focus on so…I do nothing. This is a problem. Only recently have I figured out how to fix this issue in terms of time-wasting, but in terms of how to pinpoint a goal is very difficult.

I’ve had a long history of different jobs, some short-lived, some long, and my frazzled journey has left me with some deep scars. I’ve been to school twice, and ended up not wanting to do those things as jobs. I’ve been fired countless times (though only once in the last 13 years). I’ve never had a problem finding a job or getting one – keeping them has been harder, because, for the most part, my unhappiness is obvious. I have a very expressive face and am unable to be a phony. Even when I have attempted to fake it, people know.

When I apply for jobs, often I will change my mind right before an interview, frozen with dread at the idea of spending all my time doing something I don’t really want to do. Very rarely do things come up that I want to do.

BUT WHAT DO I WANT TO DO? All day every day? Nothing specific! I want variety! I want excitement! I want to learn and be useful in a way that isn’t petty.

I have ALWAYS envied people with a laser-focus. The musicians I know, for instance…that is all they do. They obsess. The people who obsess are the ones I see succeed. They know what they want and fuck all the rest.

As a teenager, I wanted the same thing, though my confidence was exceptionally low. I tried starting bands with no luck. I was in one for 2 weeks, I think…I joined a group of girls in their band Bitter Honey – we’d practice one or two songs and then they’d want to watch TV. I felt hopeless, being in a small town with people who didn’t take what I loved seriously. I tried placing ads up in indie newspapers and up on bulletin boards in the alternative record stores. I was just young, and again, no one took me seriously. This included my parents.

My interests were still supported, but never as a career choice. I was told to be realistic. Teenage me was like “Yeah right” and didn’t listen, but deep down, I did. After so many failures, and lack of being pushed in the direction I hoped for, I had to scramble for something else.

I ALWAYS DOUBTED MY ABILITY TO MAKE IT AS ANY SORT OF ARTIST. A musician, writer, photographer. Those were my main focuses. Be realistic.

Where has being realistic gotten me? 20 years later, I am still scrambling, wondering what random job to take just so I can get by and spend only my free time doing what I love, if I can figure it out. Other people make livings doing this, why not me? What separates the people who make it from ME? Drive, luck, practice. Mostly drive and passion, and nerve. Putting yourself out there.

I am slowly figuring it out, but I still question my ability to do it on my own (“Should I go back to school? Should I teach myself? Should it be university, or is just college okay?” etc etc). I don’t think I am too old. Debt is something that absolutely petrifies me, as I don’t want to be a slave to money.

About a week ago, I laid in bed after waking up, depressed and lost (but still better than the previous day, where I’d been in utter despair) and started questioning myself:

If I had a year to live, what would I do?

I thought about asking myself what I’d do if I had a day to live, or a week – but you can’t accomplish anything in that time, really, though I guess the answers would also be illuminating.

This is hardly an original question, but how many of you have actually REALLY thought about it? And taken it to heart?

Here are my answers:

~ I would travel, as much as possible. Even if I couldn’t afford to go to anywhere super exotic, I would sell all my things, trade in my car for a van, and road trip all over North America, visiting all the people I know and admire. Then I’d sell my van, go back to Thailand (I’d make my boyfriend come along too – hell, if I’m gonna die, he is gonna figure shit out to make it happen!) and also go to the Maldives, where I’ve wanted to go for years.

~ I’d surf, even if I am shitty at it. I’d do it as much as possible.

~ I’d have lots of sex, crazy sex, adventurous sex, loving, gushing, Richter-scale sex.

~ And I’d WRITE. A lot. All of it. It would be like blood coming out of my fingers instead of ink, because my fingers would be almost broken from having so much to say, to share.

What did this lead me to realize? That my ideal job would be to be a travel writer.

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was about 8 years old. And I have been. Not professionally, but I have always written, and often. Stories, yes, but mostly memoir. Zines. Comics. Snail mail. Blogs (I’ve been blogging for 14 years….) Countless beginnings of novels. My old pseudonym was a character from a novel I was writing at age 16. Anything to play with words.

So what do I have to do to make this happen? I guess, like anything, practice. Write out a map.

Above all else, I must remember and take to heart that time is limited. Even if you believe in reincarnation, an afterlife, whatever – you are only THIS you once. You only have this life experience once. And there is no absolute proof, so don’t take chances. Do it now.

Don’t wait until something scary or bad happens to you in order to make a change (though sometimes this is the only thing that really works…having a breakdown is what led me to my lifestyle changes I’ve assimilated into my life for 6 years). Figure it out now. It doesn’t matter if you’re 36 or 96. Do it.

So, what would you do if you had a year to live? How would you LIVE? GO LIVE NOW. Don’t just exist. LIVE.

The Extroverted Introvert

Me in a local newspaper, 2006.

This is usually how I describe myself. I am very much a loner, but once in a while I like to be social – but I sort of do it in a weird way.

It depends on the situation of course, but if I am out amongst strangers, I really like to be noticeable. I want to have the best costume, or be the most overdressed, or the most good-looking, whatever.

But when I do get attention, I want people to leave me alone.

Does that make any sense? Yeah I didn’t think so. I find it rather strange but I think it describes me pretty well.

~~

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I have been overcome with obsession for making my own comic, running, and getting the most out of summer.

Being in the Void: Not Scary. It’s Exciting and Magical!

Me in Tofino, BC, 2003

There have been a couple of times in life when I have felt completely devoid of most everything, or have lost “everything.” I know I am not alone.

These times were terrifying at first. When this kind of thing happens, though, I tend not to go into a fear-state of mind. I go into a very open state, so I start to see possibilities.

One example is back in 2003. I was living with my mom, severely depressed, unemployed due to injury, and the guy I was dating told me he was seeing other people.  I had no close friends and was always yearning for other things – surfing, nature, love.

The guy disappeared – after a couple of weeks I realized he was never going to contact me, and instead of continuing to feel abandoned, I started to realize I was FREE – I had NO ties, at all, and was able to go and chase for something I’d always wanted.

And so I told my mother, ‘I want to move to Tofino.”

Tofino is a surfing town on the west coast of Vancouver Island, the main surfing spot in Canada. I had thought about moving there for years, but figured it was too small, too remote. I had lived  on the island before, but still hours away, convinced the size of the place would not mesh with me.

About a week later, my mom showed me an ad in the paper for a job in Tofino, with accommodation available. I contacted them immediately, and within the next two days I took a trip over to have an interview, and got the job. Two weeks later, I moved.

The next year of my life was completely different than it had been before, except for a couple of key things – I was still the same person, just in a different environment. The new place did not change who I was, and I had to learn new things and ways to adapt. I was different in many ways to the people who lived there, and despite my surf-love, had a hard time with many things –  peacefully living with many other people was the main challenge. There was a lot of excess – drugs, drinking, sex, partying – Tofino is a party town, a tourist destination, and a transient place for working travelers. In many ways my illusions were shattered, but I had a fantastic experience that I would not trade for anything.

I also learned to surf, which I had wanted to do since I was a kid.

Most importantly, I had tried something new, that I had always dreamed of. I took the opportunity of the void and filled it with everything I wanted.

Empty spaces in time are the best times to make wild choices – they are the universe giving you an excuse and a chance to expand yourself.

If you have no holds on you, you are free to do anything.

Sometimes the void is created for you, and sometimes you have to create it yourself. Either way, it is not the scary place we imagine. To grow sometimes we need to start with nothing.



I still idealize this little part of the world. It is magical.

The Beginning

This will be a mindful space – a journey. A call to others who feel the same as I, the ones who feel like delicious youths stuck in an adult world, the ones who want to scream FUCK THIS to the normal way of life, who want to brim to the lid with juice, with vibrancy, with lust for everything good in life.

This is just a beginning, but a stream of my life for everyone else who finds it interesting, finds inspiration, or who wants to give inspiration.

The lie of the world, that we have to conform, that we have to act like adults, that we have to blend, that we have to do ANYthing like everyone else… let’s squash the lie and replace it with love, with choice, with valiance, and with pure lust and passion for everything that is possible in life, which is EVERYTHING, if you focus on it.

The focus is everything – anybody who focuses on the ways it can be done, will succeed. Most people give up before they even start, and then when they are dying, they say “Damn, I wish I’d done that.”

Let’s live now. Now is all there is. be a bright light, a beacon, a flaming comet of POW, a dancing kabomb of cheeky, self-loving, heartbursting salaciousness.

Care to join me?