Why You Need to Be Selfish

 

It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

In fact, it’s selfless.

If you do not put yourself first, you will not be a full enough person to give to others.

You will be too full, with no energy left for yourself. Your body and mind will be drained from an overabundance of crap – your own and other peoples.

I see the craziest accusations. One I saw the other day was that a couple were bad parents because the wife said she was excited to have no baby around for their vacation.

Really? I think that a vacation will make them better parents. It will allow them to empty themselves, to empty the reservoir, so that they have internal space again to fill up.

That space fills quickly, and usually with what we don’t want.

For instance, for months I was reading constantly about all sorts of things to do with business, self improvement, money, goals, and on and on, and it was super inspiring and I had a set schedule for blogging and writing and I was hardcore in my work towards a bunch of goals, but eventually I just needed to stop and do NOTHING.

I was too full. I didn’t have a chance to really integrate or absorb anything because I was doing too much.

And then because I was doing all these little things, I was not actually doing what I wanted to be doing – instead, I was sitting in my house on a computer all day.

Not exactly what I had in mind when my ideal life is a free one, where I do whatever I want WITHOUT a schedule, and without strictly enforced rules (even when they’re my own).

If you’re lethargic and overwhelmed, it is not selfish to say Fuck It and do what you want – as long as it is WHAT YOU WANT, and not just something to numb yourself or distract yourself.

Silence is the best thing – noise is just more junk to fill you to the brim, and you don’t want that. You want to let it all slip out in a steady stream, so you have a good internal energy flow again.

That flow equals glow.

When you take that time for you, your mood will shift, you will be happier, more attentive, more generous, more lively, kinder, softer, more creative.

When you take on the weight of the world, of your friends, family, jobs, and so on, you leave little space for what truly matters to you and makes you fulfilled. You have no energy to do those things, and so they get put in the cupboard until the day comes where you find that energy – but unless you make that space for yourself to empty and refill, you won’t ever find it. You MUST put yourself first and make that space, that time – and not just on a rare occasion, but as often as possible.

The goal here is to be the best possible human. There are already too many terrible ones. Most of us are just mediocre, which is why when we come across someone that is very kind, or very passionate, or very excited, we are baffled – and we want it for ourselves.

We all can have it, but only in certain environments and circumstances, and we have to make the room for that – our very sanity depends on it.

If we don’t make room for ourselves, we are just a jumble inside of everything we encounter – other people, the news, toxic “food,” customers, and so on – so without putting ourselves first, we are NOT ourselves at all. Those things are like parasites, sucking up all the energy and life we have (and we all have it) – when we remove those parasites, LIFE RETURNS. The energy is FREED UP for us to use again.

Get rid of all that depletes your spirit.

Excavate your home and environment of everything that distracts you.

Get out of the house, and into the forest, ocean, jungle, desert.

Have someone else watch the children for a while – for as long as possible.

Give your digestive system a break – have a day of just water, or fresh juices, of fresh fruits only.

Be in SILENCE. No phone, no music, no podcasts, no TV, no games, no internet, no news. NOTHING.

Meditate. Breathe. Let it all flow OUT.

And when you emerge again, fill yourself up FIRST with what you love – then whatever is left over can be spent on the others you love – don’t waste that space. Don’t fill up constantly with negative, harmful garbage – most of what we are surrounded by is not even necessary for us.

Do the necessary only – the essential needs, and the dire desires. The true things that sing to your soul. The only things that light you up.

Trash the rest – it’s not your shit.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Overcome Fear in an Increasingly Scary World

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to overcome fear and motivate yourself to be fulfilled in an increasingly scary world

The crumbling of this world lately is heavy on my heart.

I know society has always been this horrible. Killing people for stupid reasons – things that don’t matter. It’s so easy to be hateful.

Now these horrors are more close to home, impossible to ignore – though we continue to be distracted in order to cope, to pretend that we are safe, that we are immortal, that time for our physical bodies is never-ending.

And then wham! We are dead. We are old, feeble, destitute. We lament our wasted days, the moments we gave to useless garbage. Those are completely irretrievable – they are lost and ancient relics, not worthy of a written history, not worth calling “memories” at all, because they’re hollow – shells containing nothing at all.

I see people as conduits for astonishing beauty and discoveries – but humans on the whole seem to be a despicable species. We really have to fight our abhorrent natures to be luminaries. For some the fight is harder than for others. Some lose the war entirely, and cause more wars themselves.

We start out as beacons of hope, and for so many of us it is thwarted by other people, incidents that cause us to shatter, and the heaviness of everything going on in the world. These things drain us, jade us, and often turn us into dust.

Our lives are so fragile and easy to destroy.

Do we want an inner fire that is just an ember, so simple to smother? Or a wildfire impossible to put out?

If our bodies are killed, will we live on? Will everything inside us that was never released be lost forever? Or will we die EMPTY, having purged ourselves of all the ideas and art and music and beauty and goodness that we contain?

It is never-ending, of course. We can’t stop creating. We can’t stop loving, or doing – unless we are detached and inhuman. Too many of us are husks of our real selves – too many of us ignore those flames. We extinguish them with bullshit, with garbage, with chemicals that make life seem like a chore instead of a journey to our greater selves and the heights we can reach if we take each step of the climb to get there.

It is more important than ever to do what we have always dreamed of.

The reason we are so scared of death, particularly of premature death, is that we will not have the experiences we’ve always wanted, or to create what we’ve kept inside of us for so long. We fear that it’s too late. We fear someone else will take it away from us.

Most of us deny it to OURSELVES. Most of us are killing ourselves slowly, yet we fear someone else doing it to us – it’s happening to almost everyone, all the time. We kill ourselves with “food”, drugs, horrible soul-crushing jobs, alcohol, awful relationships, and every other thing that does not give us true fulfillment.

It is more important than ever to release what we having burning inside us – those things that scorch our souls every day, that we are scared to let out, that we fear will be judged, that we are terrified will fall flat.

The only thing that can be happen if we don’t let it all loose, is that we just exist and not much more.

The body is able to be killed, but the essence of who we are cannot be. The only way we can express ourselves in this universe, as who we are, is through the body we inhabit. This is our chance to do everything we dream of. Other than procreating, that is what a physical body is FOR.

We are not experiencing LIFE as we could be, not experiencing the natural world, the WILD, the essence of being AWAKE and AWARE of the intoxicating elixir of the universe.

Many people will see it through using medicinal plants, but astonishment and wonder are always there, and we can grasp them at any time if we pay attention. We need to listen to the calling of the heart that resides in our GUTS. It is always talking to us.

We need to stop silencing it, weighing it down, distracting it, poisoning it. It needs to be HEARD.

LISTEN.

The inferno within needs to burn and take over our lives. Our world needs visionaries with torrid passion to lead us to our own paths. We need contributions of mad desire, of dedicated obsession, of star-bright wonderment. This path is available to all, at any time – we just have to discover the way. There are no maps. The only guide we have is our own imagination.

It is more important than ever that we do it NOW, because some lunatic could just kill us at any time – a person who chose the wrong fork in the road – someone who never really got to be who they were truly destined to be – that denial of their possible greatness led them to nefarious choices. They could shoot us in the face while we sign autographs. Slaughter us while we dance at a nightclub. Murder us while we are in our car. Mow us down while we celebrate life with others. It’s impossible to know.

Unless you live through an ordeal where you almost lose your life, you may never stop taking life for granted.

Should we wait for these moments? Most people don’t have near-death experiences. Most people are already near death without even realizing it. Sitting in their chairs staring at screens, mindless, scarfing down cupcakes and pizza, slogging through cubicle jobs and corporate drudgery.

And for what?

To drown out the deep soul-calling to be what they are capable of.

Being an example of human possibility is not an easy task to take on. It takes strength and courage and love. Most of us don’t believe we have that in us.

BUT WE DO.

The time is NOW. THIS SECOND. More than ever we are at risk – but remember – most people are dying slowly every single day of their own terror – the internal terrorism of their own minds.

We need to fight that internal war more than ever. We need to conquer ourselves.

The more of us that finally listen and follow this call, the more the world will heal, the better it will be, and maybe we can finally deem human beings a species worth calling magnificent.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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Why Taking Risks is Crucial to Staying Alive

Lorra Fae Wildfire of Passion School will inspire you to go after your dreams and desires by encouraging you to take risks in life.

Tofino, 2003. Where I moved spontaneously for a year and still dream about.

It makes sense why hardly anyone goes after their dreams.

We wake up and work for other people for hours on end, going home exhausted, too tired to do what we really want to do. And on days off, we spend doing chores or errands, staying distracted, wasting time,  “keeping busy” instead of doing what is important to us.

The real shit. The important stuff is not the laundry or the dishes, it’s not playing video games, it’s not staring at a phone looking for cartoon creatures, it’s not clearing clutter off the desk or dusting the shelves. Those things can wait until after the important work – the stuff that feeds our souls.

Did you know that JK Rowling says the reason she managed to write while in poverty and get so much done, is because she lived in squalor for years?

She knew where the priorities were: Her daughter, and her dreams. The rest could wait – it’s not going anywhere.

We have it backwards. Either we need to get up REALLY early and go after what we want before we sell our souls to others to get our basic needs met, or not have “jobs” at all, and focus on our real work. Ourselves.

Your real job is yourself.

Your real money is TIME. The real focus should be FREEDOM, not things that tie us down.

We need to minimize, focus, and take little steps towards what we most desire. You know, the things your heart sings to you every night, what you daydream about while you’re stuck in the drudgery of your JOB, or what you imagine life being if you could only escape.

That is what really needs to be done, and the only way to get there is to get everything down to SIMPLE, and to take the first small step….

Eventually, we must take a GIANT one.

It has to be scary, or it’s not worthwhile.

It doesn’t need to all be worked out – in fact thinking about the outcome TOO much may hinder it from happening at all. We think about all that could go wrong, instead of all that could go right.

The thing is, we can’t imagine everything that will come our way. We simply can’t fathom certain things in life.

For example, there is no way in hell I would have ever imagined working for someone I looked up to for so long – even becoming her friend, but to have her offer me work, work that I enjoy, and that I can do nomadically and at my leisure (as long as it gets done) – never in my wildest imagination did I even consider this would be a possibility. People beg her for mentorship and to work for her, and it just fell in my lap. I didn’t even have to try. The only “step” I took was writing about how I felt about a situation happening to her, which she happened to read, and then we spoke and over time became friends. I was struggling to find a job, I couldn’t find anything in this new city I moved to – and eventually I got sick of that process and tried the opposite – ANYTHING and everything I could do to make money on my own.

Not long after, she offered me work because she wanted to help me – and she needed help, too. We helped each other.

I fully believe that this happened because my mindset changed and I started looking at life in a different way – one where I did not need a typical job to get by. I could hustle up my own way, and this allowed me so much freedom and so much more opportunity. It got rid of the humiliating processes of job-searching, the daunting, menial, boring tasks of writing cover letters and resumes – it allowed me to use my BRAIN, to problem solve, and to FIND SOLUTIONS.

No one else was offering me a solution when I wrote out my plan. No one else came to my rescue. I took responsibility, instead of feeling like a victim, and I also focused on the goodness of not being able to find a job – the freedom it allowed me. I wrote out my Plan Z and it sounded like an adventure, not destitution. But when I was finally in this mindset, a perfect opportunity came to me, that I still do in conjunction with everything else I have thought out.

Everything I do now allows me a lot of freedom. Freedom is my number one value. I can work from wherever I am, at what I enjoy. I get to say yes or no to any sort of work I take on. I set my schedule. I set my own pace. I am in charge of me, no one else.

My point in all this is to say: Jobs are something human beings should do as LITTLE as possible, so our most precious resource (TIME) can be utilized to LIVE, and to do the work we are MEANT to do – OUR OWN. Even if we do have to slave for others, in order to have enough to get by, raise children, and more, the bits of time we can allot for ourselves make every shred of difference to what will come to us in the future if we focus on simplifying our lives and focusing NOW on what we want.

The things we have always imagined. The things we have desired since childhood – the fantasies we always have. THOSE things. They are not meant to be ignored. You can do anything at all. It doesn’t matter. People surf with one arm, people snowboard who have no legs, people write books who can’t move their bodies, people escape prisons, escape war-torn countries, people survive being lost at sea – WE can overcome our stupid problems. None of these people were taught how to do these things – they managed to do them because the alternative was soul-death, a wasted life, complete and utter despair. A suicide. A half-life. They did anything and everything they could to get what they wanted, and it’s all because they were determined and knew precisely what they wanted to accomplish.

Instead of lamenting our lots in life, we must start to look for all the threads that lead away from them. They’re there, we just have to look for them – every place has ways out. Every dream has ways to begin. We just don’t want to consider them. We start off saying “I can’t.”

We need to start off saying, “I can – but how?”

And then we plan, we plot, we draw maps, we set sights on what we want, on those realities just waiting to come to life – because they can. They CAN. Despite ANY reason we can think up, they are possible.

We decide whether to prosper, survive, succeed, overcome – or we decide to turn over, be pummeled, and be steamrolled into a flat version of who we really are.

We don’t believe the visions we have of what we could be.

But we can all be them. The belief needs to be there. When we get away from the bullshit of life (the people who tell us no, the ones who tell us we’re expendable or stupid, the ones who break our hearts, the jobs that kill our souls, the towns that are so backwards we feel like aliens) and start honing in on what could allow us to move forward, we start to see the possibilities, and we start to gain confidence that JUST MAYBE we could do this thing – whatever it may be.

That fear needs to be conquered. It means we need to change ourselves.

It means we can’t identify as victims anymore.

This is the key – to choose another label. To choose one of the following: Survivor. Hero. Heroine. Boss. Warrior. Champion. Goddess. Star. Luminary. Explorer. Adventurer. Protector. Winner. Defender. Advocate. Queen. The Greatest. Fighter. Saviour.

Ditch the idea of being a victim. We are all victims of something – how we choose to overcome our setbacks is what makes the difference.

When we choose other labels, we must change ourselves – our behaviours, our beliefs, our lifestyles, in order to match our chosen identity. Then everything else will change. Friends and family may not like it, there may be backlash, struggles with money may occur – none of it MATTERS. What matters is that we become who we are meant to be – because when we are who we are supposed to be, WE LIFT EVERYONE ELSE UP WITH US.
We become inspirations, we become MENTORS. We become beacons of HOPE. We show everyone else that yes, we are humans beings, like you, who did nothing more than take a RISK, and that risk is the only thing standing between EVERY single person and what they have always wanted.

Risk doesn’t have to be so big that you potentially crash and ruin everything and everyone around you, but it has to be big enough that you change internally and your life shifts dramatically for the better.

“Take the leap” is not a cliche – it’s a bona fide CALL for everyone to step off that cliff – the landing may be hard, but we will survive – and if not? What’s the alternative? A half-life? Give me PASSION and authenticity ANY day over basic existence. We will survive, our children will survive, and they will learn from us that risk and passion is worth any adversity that might challenge us along the way.

We are imbued with life for only one reason – TO LIVE.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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4 Reasons You Should Do Morning Pages to Improve Your life

4 Ways Morning Pages from The Artist's Way can Change your Life for the better

Morning Pages are the brainchild of Julia Cameron, who famously wrote The Artist’s Way back in 1992 – a book I have had in my home for well over a decade. Earlier this year, I felt a soft whisper in my mind – a call to finally read the book and do what it contained.

Morning Pages involve three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing every day when you wake up, before anything else, and you’re not allowed to stop, or edit, or really even think about what you’re writing. You spill your guts. You literally write whatever comes to mind. You can write “blah blah blah” until something else starts to form. It’s a release – you just open up and let it all fall on to paper.

Back in 1999 or so, I did start the course of the book, but didn’t get far, mostly because I was terrible at getting up early.

I was also put off by the use of the word “God” – even though it does not need to be read as a literal, religious term when it comes to the book. Once I got past this, the true worth of the book’s contents could shine. To allow one word or a basic concept to shroud the rest of it was absurd to me. (This was also something I struggled with in regards to the Anastasia series).

I did continue with Morning Pages for a while, but was deterred because I was so easily called to hit my snooze button, or I was more likely lured by the call of the Internet, still a fairly new addiction back then.

This year, however, I stuck with Morning Pages, and have, daily for months on end. I have completed about 8 weeks of the Artist’s Way and was so overwhelmed with ideas and inspiration (along with other things that stole my time) that the last few weeks are still something I need to finish.

The Morning Pages stuck, though, because they have been instrumental in my life changes.

They got me to start creating again. They lit a fire within me. They got me to quit my stupid job. They led me to see what was absolutely stupid in my life and what I needed to change.

They can do the same for you.

 

  1. They will show you your patterns.

When you start your day with writing about anything that comes to mind, and without thinking about it, patterns show up. When you find yourself writing about the same things over and over, you start to realize how monotonous and boring your life has become. You’ll start to see the same old complaints day in and day out. “My job sucks. I hate my life. My partner is annoying. I need to eat better. I feel sick again. I am depressed. I need to sleep more. I have a dry mouth. I woke up 10 times last night. I wish I could go on vacation. I don’t want to go to work. I’m sick of cleaning this bloody house.” Or whatever. On and on.

Our constant complaints, and what our subconscious spills out on the page consistently, comes to the forefront of our minds where we start to think constantly and consciously about them. We discover what things need to change. Then, we can start to write about alternatives.

       2. They will allow your subconscious to speak to you clearly.

We are so bombarded with information and distractions that it becomes almost impossible to listen to our inner voices, and to our hearts. Having 15-20 minutes of stream-of-consciousness writing allows us to FOCUS and also spill out what has been brewing without our even noticing, due to everything else going on. Then, those hidden gems are right in front of us, where we can see them start coming to life.

       3. They will inspire new life and new creations

Most people have their best ideas randomly, when they have no distractions. In the shower, walking, swimming, exercise, washing the dishes, meditation, the moments before falling asleep – singular tasks that don’t require a lot of thought – when your mind is allowed to wander. Often when people have these ideas, they’re fleeting because they are in a place where they do not have the means to write them down, and the ideas fly away like tiny birds, never to be seen again. With Morning Pages, they spill out ON paper, so even though you may not always want to re-read your pages, at least you know where those ideas are. They are made immortal, they can always be revisited. Thus, it will inspire action. You’ll have your beautiful ideas ready for you, and they can’t escape, they are caged, just waiting to be freed!

       4. They allow a fresh start to the day.

The pages are incredibly helpful for waking up. I’ve often started them while groggy, only to be wide awake upon finishing. On days where I have woken in a melancholy state, I have worked through it on paper and end up feeling hopeful. The days where I haven’t wanted to do them have been the more beneficial. I’ve had the most insight, and the most positive effect.

I highly encourage you to at least try this practice, even if you don’t go through the whole Artist’s Way course (which I do recommend doing()! Try it for at least a month and see what changes happen for you.

If none do…practice the pages for longer. I promise, you can expect great things to occur.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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No Cheat Days Allowed

lorra fae wildfire tells you why cheat days are not good for you try to avoid a cheat day to better your life so you can create success and health and become your best self

I don’t have cheat days.

The whole idea of creating a lifestyle change and then damaging it with cheat days is bizarre to me.

When it comes to health and prosperity, why cheat? The changes made are for the betterment of the self, not to deprive oneself of anything.

Cheating on new habits is cheating yourself, and nothing more.

I find an all-or-nothing approach works the best. Give it 100%.

Without a cheat day, there will be BETTER results than expected. If there is competition involved, there will be a advantage. If there is health involved, vibrancy will expand even higher. If there is exercise involved, strength will be taken even further.

Results can only be bigger. Success can only be more imminent. Strength can only be greater. Life can only be better.

Cheating is a lie to oneself. It’s saying, “You’re not good enough to stick with this completely.” It’s saying, “You don’t really want to be doing this. What you really want to be doing is that…and you’re depriving yourself of it.” Deprivation breeds rebellion, and not many people can resist that for long. It’s also a tempting, naughty reward – something to look to the future for, instead of focusing on NOW.

We’re addicts and easy-pleasure seekers – it’s ingrained in us. Our ancient brains tell us to take the easy way, the comfortable way – and with all the choices around us and all the lies we’re fed from every direction, it’s so simple to get overwhelmed and say Fuck It and go for the easy route.

Dreams are not easy. They require complete dedication, not cheating.

Cheating is for people who don’t want the best results. It’s for people who don’t want to be the best possible version of themselves. It’s the opposite of dedication, or obsession.

Obsession is a good thing when it elevates who we want to become. We can’t cheat life, and we can’t fool our bodies, or our minds – so let’s throw the cheat days in the incinerator where they belong, along with all the bullshit that keeps us from being the most galactic versions of ourselves.

We need to remove the locks from the cages that hold those versions in, and we will never get there by cheating – we need to focus on the exact methods to set ourselves free.

~~~

Please leave a comment and share!!

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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How to Simplify Your Morning Routine

I spent the last month starting each morning with 3 hours of self-care, and while I felt super fantastic doing so, it took up a LOT of time. However, doing it allowed me to see what is really instrumental in making my day great, and what can either wait until later in the day, or doesn’t need to be done daily at all.

This can be a really good way to figure out what is essential to your well-being and what is instrumental in moving your FORWARD in life instead of keeping you stagnant.

You can see my detailed 3 hour self-care list here, but now my basic routine will be:

1. Hydration – still 32 oz of lemon blended with water, and CALM magnesium.
2. Morning Pages – I used to do this first, but found I kept complaining about being thirsty. This can also include my daily gratitude list or The Work, if I need it.
3. Meditation – to get calm and focused for the day.
4. Going over goals – I can start with a couple minutes of looking at inspiring quotes, but it’s not entirely necessary. What’s necessary is reminding myself what is important in my life, and taking ACTION on those things.
5. Green smoothie.
6. ACTION on my most important goals. Work.

The rest of my list can be dispersed throughout the day. Movement is super important but doesn’t need to be very first thing in the morning – sometimes it will be, and sometimes not, it just depends, but the earlier the better, really, and in NATURE, so the two can be combined, even better if barefoot and connecting with the earth.

What is absolutely most important is that I am hydrated, well-nourished, and working on things that are important to me. NOT indulging in what others are doing.

It should be the same for all of us, but the majority get up and look at their phone immediately – Facebook, or email, whatever – putting the needs of other people (often whom we don’t even know) before our own. Putting ourselves first is not selfish – it allows us to be FULL and then be able to give. We can’t be at our best unless we are full of what we most need.

Simplifying it down to our VERY basics is imperative. What is essential for you to feel your very best? Do those things RIGHT AWAY when you get up for the day. If you hate getting up, then go to bed early – if you start your day hating the thought of even getting out of bed, it’s not a good omen. Good sleep is absolutely essential or life will be sludge. Who wants that?

Another thing is to eliminate what is NOT essential. Stop looking at your phone, your email, your Facebook feed – who CARES what other people are eating, or whining about? Focus on YOU. What do YOU want? Are you DOING those things? Or are you being distracted by things you won’t even think about again in 5 seconds?

Pare down everything. You don’t have to give up social media, but cut out everything that is keeping you from LIVING. I get it – some things are super inspiring – keep those, but get rid of anything that brings you down, doesn’t add to your life in some way, or is just something you’re doing to KILL TIME (which is the ONLY thing we have! Why are you wasting it, or killing it? You don’t get an infinite amount!)

It sounds so easy and simple, and it is, but the simplest step is usually the one NO one takes – WRITING IT DOWN.

If you can’t write out a plan, you’re doomed.

Everyone can afford to do this. You can’t afford NOT to.

You need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Put your plan out where you can see it all the time and look at it EVERY day when you get up, and every night before you go to sleep. EASY. FREE.

Doing this, and then following what you write down with action, is one of the best things you will ever do, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. Even if you’re the busiest person in the world, you can add to it and refine it in the few moments you have throughout the day. And guess what? If you’re that busy you need to do it even MORE, because I bet you ANYTHING that a lot of what is keeping you so busy is not even necessary and not adding to your life in any capacity, and it’s keeping you in an unmoving, bland state, where you think you are stuck forever.

You’re not. Simplicity is the key to everything. Essentialism. Adapt this, and watch your whole life shift.

~~~

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If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

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Twitter: MissLorra

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Why You’re Scared of Success More than Failure

Most people are so scared to fail that they don’t even begin.

In our hearts we know that failure is required in the journey of learning. Failures do not mean an END – they are bumps on the way to KNOWING.

So what really stops us?

I have been wondering lately what this sudden anxiety I have is saying to me. It’s not a fear of failure, no…it feels different.

When we continue on in spite of fear, and with tenacity, we can’t fail in the long run. So what is it, then?

It’s a success fear.

Success that we see in the media seems so luxurious and alluring, full of money and fame and everything we could ever want – but it also has a hidden side. We know that success is rife with things we are not used to, and that means changing ourselves.

More work, more demands, more responsibilities, more discipline, more confidence, more criticism, more people wanting things from us, possibly using us, possibly fucking us over, and on and on.

Success means being VULNERABLE – much more so than failing.

Failing (and not continuing forward) is EASY to deal with. We can numb it out with food, TV, Facebook, weed, whatever our drug of choice is. We can give up and identify as victims. Poor us.

With success, we can’t do that. There are essential aspects that go with it that we cannot ignore. We can’t numb them, and that’s scary.

Identifying as a failure is simple, easy, and lazy. It requires no movement. It is a stagnant place to be. People wonder why they are depressed and anxious, but it’s because they aren’t in line with their heart’s desires, and it means they’re not taking any action (or they’ve tried and given up).

The fear of success holds us back. It makes us responsible for our own happiness, it means we are not able to identify as victims anymore. Our identities are shattered. We have to start again.

But isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t starting over a gift? You can unearth that version of you that’s been buried for so long underneath the crap and angst.

I’ll tell you now that the best thing I’ve ever discovered is that I have complete and utter power over my own self. My health, my attitude, and my circumstances are completely up to me, no matter what may happen – how I choose to overcome, and how to move forward, despite ANY possible set-backs, no matter how grim, no matter how horrible – that is up to me.

Life occurrences are not up to me. Shit happens. It is all in how we decide to conquer that matters. That is success.

So are you going to drop the victim identity now? Are you going to drop the fear? Are you going to step forward into your new possibility, and CREATE your life the way it could be?

It is not without anxiety – it’s just a different sort. It’s an excitement, a hope, and a wonder. It’s a tightness in the belly, instead of the dark space in the mind where the anxiety of doing nothing lurks.

Succeeding at anything you could imagine is the anxiety you WANT. Moving through THAT is the thing that builds strength. That is what builds confidence. That is what makes things HAPPEN.

Staying a victim, identifying as a failure, and numbing yourself day-in and day-out is easy. It’s fine if you choose that, but when you are nearing the end of your life, you’ll wish you had been more adventurous.

Success doesn’t mean money or fame. It means stabbing fear in the gut and moving forward with all the things you have imagined since you were a kid that you’d love to do. It means honouring those feelings, those daydreams, those wishes.

Don’t just wish those things anymore. Start identifying as brave, tenacious, and bold. Claim a new adjective for yourself. Throw out the word victim. Stomp your fear to the ground.

Be the you that you know you are. The one that resides in your soul.

Remember, you only live in your body – your soul is the thing that tells your body and brain what to do. Go deep and LISTEN to it. What is telling your BRAIN what to do? Is it your body? Other people? The media? (What a terrifying idea.)

No – it’s the real you. The one that is ether. The one that has been waiting ALL this time for your body to get up and follow what it really wants. The one you have been drowning out with all the excess stimuli, entertainment, drugs, food, and distractions.

It’s time to listen to THAT part of you – and ignore the rest.

Drop it all, and go.

 ~~~

If you enjoyed this post (or any of my posts!), please consider a small (or large!) donation to fund my way to a martial arts seminar. There are rewards for certain amounts given, so please help out with a “tip” or a gift! You’ll be helping me to improve so I can teach other women to kick ass in the future!

You can also follow me on:

Instagram: Lorrafae and Passion School

Twitter: MissLorra

Facebook: Lorra Fae Wildfire

Snapchat: Lorrafae

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