Me in Margaret River, Australia, 2005
I am about to turn 40. Regardless of how I look and feel, this is a lengthy amount of time in life, and I don’t want to waste any more of it. I am motivated by dying.
My 30s were a definite joy. This came with overhauling my health and lifestyle practices – nothing is more important to me than that, but it is first nature to me now, and though I have found that my dharma is to be a health advocate, my passions in life still need tending to, and a couple of them have been neglected for far too long.
My 40s are going to be all about surfing and writing, wellness and survival. Most of my life, I have wanted to be a surfer. I did have a stint of time living on the coast, and partaking often, but I never really improved, never fully dedicated myself to it. I was distracted by boys, I was curtailed by low self-esteem, and plagued by self-doubt and ill-health, mostly mental. I wish I had really focused, gotten private lessons, had the proper gear for my level, been fit and healthy in general – but I wasn’t, and I didn’t. The best I got was at paddling and I could do only the very basics.
This isn’t good enough for me, as I don’t want to get to the end of my life and say, “Wow, I really wish I had spent more time surfing, I never really gave it a good shot, even though I love it more than almost anything else.”
I don’t ever want to be that person. “I wish I had done that. I wish I had eaten better. I wish I had loved more. I wish I was kinder. I wish I had seen more of the world. I wish I had wasted less time.” I never want to say those things. I want to live fully and never miss beautiful opportunities when I have them, because life is precious and rare. LIVING is precious and rare. Most people merely exist. Not me. No. I have a wild heart and I will battle my way through anything to achieve what I want.
It isn’t to impress anyone, it is only for myself, to fill my soul and to see what I am capable of, because I know it is so much. We all have the capacity, we just need to tap in and believe it.
I never believed it when I was younger. I do now.
I want to share my journey because the journeys of others inspire me. I want to share triumphs and failures, because that is what life is. I hope to inspire you to be healthier and to never limit yourself for any reason, particularly age. It is not too late, there is always a way.
Life is NOT about giving up and zoning out. It’s not about avoidance. It’s emotional and vulnerable. I am not myself unless I am healthy and free. I am not myself unless I indulge in the things I love, and help others do the same. All I want is freedom, love, and health, and to help others have the same.