Most people are so scared to fail that they don’t even begin.
In our hearts we know that failure is required in the journey of learning. Failures do not mean an END – they are bumps on the way to KNOWING.
So what really stops us?
I have been wondering lately what this sudden anxiety I have is saying to me. It’s not a fear of failure, no…it feels different.
When we continue on in spite of fear, and with tenacity, we can’t fail in the long run. So what is it, then?
It’s a success fear.
Success that we see in the media seems so luxurious and alluring, full of money and fame and everything we could ever want – but it also has a hidden side. We know that success is rife with things we are not used to, and that means changing ourselves.
More work, more demands, more responsibilities, more discipline, more confidence, more criticism, more people wanting things from us, possibly using us, possibly fucking us over, and on and on.
Success means being VULNERABLE – much more so than failing.
Failing (and not continuing forward) is EASY to deal with. We can numb it out with food, TV, Facebook, weed, whatever our drug of choice is. We can give up and identify as victims. Poor us.
With success, we can’t do that. There are essential aspects that go with it that we cannot ignore. We can’t numb them, and that’s scary.
Identifying as a failure is simple, easy, and lazy. It requires no movement. It is a stagnant place to be. People wonder why they are depressed and anxious, but it’s because they aren’t in line with their heart’s desires, and it means they’re not taking any action (or they’ve tried and given up).
The fear of success holds us back. It makes us responsible for our own happiness, it means we are not able to identify as victims anymore. Our identities are shattered. We have to start again.
But isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t starting over a gift? You can unearth that version of you that’s been buried for so long underneath the crap and angst.
I’ll tell you now that the best thing I’ve ever discovered is that I have complete and utter power over my own self. My health, my attitude, and my circumstances are completely up to me, no matter what may happen – how I choose to overcome, and how to move forward, despite ANY possible set-backs, no matter how grim, no matter how horrible – that is up to me.
Life occurrences are not up to me. Shit happens. It is all in how we decide to conquer that matters. That is success.
So are you going to drop the victim identity now? Are you going to drop the fear? Are you going to step forward into your new possibility, and CREATE your life the way it could be?
It is not without anxiety – it’s just a different sort. It’s an excitement, a hope, and a wonder. It’s a tightness in the belly, instead of the dark space in the mind where the anxiety of doing nothing lurks.
Succeeding at anything you could imagine is the anxiety you WANT. Moving through THAT is the thing that builds strength. That is what builds confidence. That is what makes things HAPPEN.
Staying a victim, identifying as a failure, and numbing yourself day-in and day-out is easy. It’s fine if you choose that, but when you are nearing the end of your life, you’ll wish you had been more adventurous.
Success doesn’t mean money or fame. It means stabbing fear in the gut and moving forward with all the things you have imagined since you were a kid that you’d love to do. It means honouring those feelings, those daydreams, those wishes.
Don’t just wish those things anymore. Start identifying as brave, tenacious, and bold. Claim a new adjective for yourself. Throw out the word victim. Stomp your fear to the ground.
Be the you that you know you are. The one that resides in your soul.
Remember, you only live in your body – your soul is the thing that tells your body and brain what to do. Go deep and LISTEN to it. What is telling your BRAIN what to do? Is it your body? Other people? The media? (What a terrifying idea.)
No – it’s the real you. The one that is ether. The one that has been waiting ALL this time for your body to get up and follow what it really wants. The one you have been drowning out with all the excess stimuli, entertainment, drugs, food, and distractions.
It’s time to listen to THAT part of you – and ignore the rest.
Drop it all, and go.
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