Do you call yourself lame, stupid, lazy, boring, inept, fat, or incompetent, or worse?
Well, if you keep telling yourself that, you are right.
Before you start freaking out at me, let me explain. I do not mean that in a cruel way. What you tell yourself that you are, and the more you say it to yourself, the more it is what you will become, positive or negative.
We need to change our internal monologue. We need to stop belittling ourselves. It is completely crazy and overwhelming how much power we have over our own lives and our own self-perception. It’s hard to believe, and most people don’t, especially about themselves.
I’m not suggesting affirmations, where you stand in front of the mirror and say “I love you” or start telling yourself “I’m rich and successful!” when you have $1 in your pocket and $70,000 of student loans and a job that pays $10 an hour. That’s fake, and you will feel stupid and probably stop after a day.
Most affirmations are just you lying to yourself, and you know it. It feels false and gross. Even if it’s true that you are a beautiful person, if you don’t look at yourself and believe it, you are going to feel fake and dislike yourself even more. HOWEVER, if affirmations do work for you, that’s awesome, and I am not trying to take away from that. I just know that most people find them cheesy and silly, and for good reason. I believe there is a better way.
What you need to do is choose an adjective for yourself. You want to choose a word that you can be NOW.
I started doing this a couple of months ago. I started to refer to myself as “tenacious.” It’s a fantastic word, and it is exactly the type of person I want to be, and it is something I can become, NOW. At any moment.
Make it a trait you admire in others. If you admire it in other people, chances are you wish you could be that way. Instead of admiring others for their wealth, beauty, or success, look at what traits they have that GOT them to that place.
Choose a word like: unstoppable, determined, persistent, tireless, relentless, bad-ass, etc. You can decide to be these things instantly. When you want to do something and feel anxious or self-doubting, say to yourself, “I am ___ and I am UNSTOPPABLE!” CHOOSE to believe it, and move forward with that attitude. Attitude is everything.
Ever since I started referring to myself as tenacious, I have been. In everything that I do. Martial arts, this blog, exercise, work. It has given me more discipline than I’ve ever had, just from thinking of myself as tenacious.
And it’s simple. It’s one word. Just repeat it to yourself and see what happens. Often the simplest things have the most power.