I’ve decided that whatever I do, it has to be wild.
When I think, I must give it a huge push with passion, past my comfort zone, because that’s where the truth lies.
Whatever I create, it must be done with emotion and devotion, so that it speaks on its own without me.
Whatever I write will flow with the weight of my entire heart.
Whatever clothing I buy and wear will scream my soul.
Whatever love I give will be mighty and knock you down.
Whatever sex I have will be banshee-powerful – lust will sweat out and creep into the pores of my lover, assimilate.
Whatever kissing I do will be fiery and ecstatic, deep and longing. Sharing breath.
When I dance I will close my eyes and let music pulse my heart instead of blood.
I will decorate myself like a gypsy pixie grungy macabre demon pin-up tart, because it’s all me, what else can I do?
I will yell wildly, but only love, or ferocious anger.
I will be as kind as a person can be, because that is the most powerful and freeing.
I will fuck in forests and plunge deeply into mountain pools. I will ride the scariest rides and spill face-first down muddy slopes and water-slides.
When I eat I will devour, I will groan and fully taste each morsel. I will eat in a way that lets this crazy energy flow through me.
I will run just to feel wind.
I’ll live with my mind open. I will look into the eyes of whomever I meet. No small talk, all large.
When I sleep I will dream the dreams of shamans, the dreams of the fully alive, and the dreams of the dead.
Everything I love will be spoken, if not with voice, then in how I live.
When I cry I will wail, I will gnash my teeth and grieve like the damned.
Full-emotion, “too intense” – but it is the REAL ME, fuck it if it scares you to see someone be fully human. EMBRACE IT.
Photo above of Vali Myers