I’ve always been the type to want to keep people in my life, no matter what. I figure, if I loved them or cared for them at some point, then I always would.
I forgive very easily. I have not had things done to me that I find unforgivable – even if I am angry for a long time, eventually I move past it, and want the person back in my life in some way, or at least to make peace with them.
I stay curious – I wonder how they are, what they’re doing, how their life is. I give a shit.
This has changed recently.
It began when I was on facebook, and was getting random rude comments from someone I had dated in 2003, someone who I still really liked and admired. The comments were completely brash and uncalled for.
The first time I considered deleting him, but part of me didn’t want to let go. The last time he did it, I really mulled it over (not for very long) and thought, “What is this person adding to my life?”
I came to the conclusion that he really added nothing. He had at one point (sort of) but staying connected with him really was doing me no good, so I bit my lip and hit the unfriend button.
Instead of feeling regret, I felt relief.
I’ve done this before, in real life situations – it sucked, but the relief always came. I always thought it would lead to panic, but instead it cut the ties to negative influence.
My nostalgic ways are lessening. I have always looked backwards, and now want to look forward. I’ve learned enough from my past, and still learn now – but my past has already shown me what I need to know – I don’t need to cling to it.
Within the last month I’ve dropped three people I kept a hold on. One was a friend who never forgave me for something minor and accidental – I held hope for about 4 years that she would come around, but she never did, so I gave up – that hopeful energy is now released and can be directed elsewhere.
Another is an ex-boyfriend who I never really got over. I felt as if when he came to town, he only ever invited me to his shows as a way to get a bigger audience. I didn’t feel that way at first, but when I asked to hang out outside the show, I got no responses. This has happened for years. I sent him another message saying I would stop pestering him and “See ya, have a beautiful life.”
I am not angry or hateful to any of these people – I just am letting them go so I can move on with my life and make room for others. I wish these people nothing but love and happiness – I do still care for them, but in order for a friendship to be worthwhile it has to be reciprocal!
I have enough acquaintances – I want real, strong friendships, and that is what I want to focus my love on – not broken threads.
Though, sometimes, people surprise me and come back into my life – bigger, stronger, more loving! I love when this happens, and I do welcome people back with open arms, as long theirs are outstretched too.
So snip the people out of your life who do nothing to uplift you and accept your love, whether it be in real life, your business, facebook, whatever. You only get a limited time in a human body, you might as well make it as positive an experience as you can.