The Cure for Ennui – Discovered!

DO YOU SUFFER FROM L.O.P. (Lack of Passion)??

L.O.P. can be self diagnosed.


  • You are bound to your home.
  • The TV ensnares you. You are drawn into other worlds instead of inhabiting your own.
  • The internet draws you in with so many temptations, far more than before its existence.
  • You want to devour everyone and everything. Media is a black hole you swim into, willingly.
  • You believe people who are famous – just because people know who they are, just because they are charismatic. You listen to them more than you listen to yourself.
  • You have a completely structured life. You do the same thing daily, and then you force yourself to smile.
  • You do nothing for your own pleasure.
  • You eat things that come in packages and go in microwaves.
  • You adhere to a set standard of living, and an aesthetic chosen for you.
  • You have left your childhood self completely in the past and cannot remember what it is like to be free.
  • You are a curmudgeon.
  • You only see the bleakness of the world.
  • You drown yourself in vices, to cope with things you don’t realize are stifling you.
  • You only see the mainstream options for life. You do not ever consider alternatives.

New Medical Break-though!

The new drug FOMS (Fear of Missing Something) is now available. This drug has been known to have the following side effects:

  • You will say yes to almost any experience.
  • You will quit jobs and leave relationships that don’t squeeze your heart and make you swoon.
  • You will sleep so soundly because you’ve depleted all your energy from living.
  • You will eat copious amounts of fresh fruits and foliage.
  • You may experience lightning in your brain.
  • You see beauty in every corner of your reality.
  • You are vocal and rally against the horrors around you.
  • You will long for the days of childhood and teenage years, when devious behaviour is more accepted.
  • You will not care if your behaviour is accepted.
  • You will cultivate an intense desire for knowledge.
  • You will start to see threads leading out from normal life, that lead you to amazing people and wanderings.
  • Your desire to travel will become unbearable.
  • You will want to document everything so you can share it with others – or – you may want to keep it all to yourself, a delicious secret.
  • You will want to spread love wherever you go.
  • You will want to kiss with wild abandon.
  • You will want to be lithe and naked and roam free on hot beaches amongst coconut trees.
  • You will want to move so wildly that your body never stops swaying.
  • You will easily attract many other companions, divine lovers, and glistening amigos.
  • You automatically become glowlingly beautiful
  • You believe in wishes, and magic.
  • Your religion becomes self-worship.
  • You create things that people want, and admire.
  • You become yourself, a deviant visionary.

Please do not take FOMS on an empty stomach. Take with water, luscious mangos and blueberries. Take FOMS upon rising from a complete night’s sleep.

FOMS can be self-prescribed, and taken at any time – no rules apply.

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